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Help When Your Church Fails You Churches hurt people. My failure to be without sin disqualifies me from throwing stones but I dare not whitewash the horrific extent of this tragedy. Without even being a victim, it breaks my heart to face this – to say nothing of what it does to God’s heart. The thrilling but disturbing truth is that every church is made up of imperfect people. It’s thrilling because it means there is hope for you and me, but disturbing because, even with the best intentions, when imperfect people come together, hurt happens. The havoc can be appalling. Astonishingly, even this is polished with gold, but we will leave this mystery until later. If you have been a victim of some form of church misconduct, my heart – and God’s heart – goes out to you. I recoil from in any way downgrading my evaluation of the devastation and injustice you have suffered. Indeed, I ache to bring you comfort and I mourn the inadequacies of my efforts. I will, however, attempt to provide a realistic, highly biblical risk assessment of how likely it is that churches will hurt good members. I do this not to bash churches, and certainly not to inflame anyone’s fear of them, but to help victims of church callousness realize they are not misfits or inadequate or failures in heaven’s eyes. Starry-eyed couples thinking that marriage will be heaven on earth are hurtling to a rude shock. Likewise, church is not heaven. And it sometimes turns out close to the exact opposite. Applying to church what we know about marriage can be insightful because at the heart of both are relationships between fallible humans. Like marriage, church is God’s idea, and yet sin – acting the opposite of God – is so despicable that it perverts the most precious, beautiful gifts into such ugly monstrosities as to disgust all in heaven and earth. At fault is neither the gift, nor the gracious Giver, but the heinous acts that corrupt priceless treasures until they bear no similarity to the heart of God, no matter how many Scriptures the offenders mangle, trying to pound them into prohibited weapons in a brutal attempt to defend their indefensible conduct. Marriage should be a beautiful, fulfilling, uplifting gift of God. So should church. And yet both can turn sour, even if the innocent partner were perfect. This tragedy of life turns some people off both institutions. Although keeping one’s distance can seem like protecting oneself, it is actually robbing oneself. Like all investments, love is about risks and rewards. We all want the rewards but they come only to those who embrace the risks. The good Lord insists that husbands must love their wives as sacrificially as our crucified Savior, who laid down his life for us (Ephesians 5:25). Horrific marital disasters still happen, however. Likewise church members are divinely obligated to lay down their lives for each other (1 John 3:16) but the gap between God’s will and our execution of it has broken millions of hearts. Not even the most loving people on this planet are immune to being atrociously treated, spurned and rejected by their marriage partners. And callous fools often add to the victims’ torment by pointing the accusing finger at the innocent. If you doubt that anyone perfect could end up in a failed relationship, look at the only perfect Person. Over and over, God describes in his Word his relationship with his people as being like marriage. Our Lord is perfect in love, patience, wisdom and everything else we could hope for, and yet every day appalling numbers of people turn on him and divorce themselves from him. And with so many people criticizing innocent victims of marital breakdown, some innocent parties in failed marriages end up worrying that God himself is mad at them. God hates divorce, declares Scripture (Malachi 2:16). To imagine this means he hates the innocent victims is ludicrous. On the contrary, he hates divorce because of what it does to the victims. He is the righteous defender of those who have been betrayed. Likewise, people mistreated by a church are on the side of Jesus who, as we will see, was atrociously mistreated by devout Bible-believers. People who end up shocked at the dreadful way a church treats them have my deepest sympathy. No church should ever have acted that way. It is totally contrary to God. Perhaps that entire church has now been banished from God’s presence, as the Ephesian church was threatened with (Revelation 2:1,5). An element of shock is unavoidable. Nevertheless, I look up from the Bible at those who thought they could never be burned by a church and find myself having to say with Scripture: 1 Peter 4:12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. I draw your attention to “do not be surprised” in the above quote. In addition, as seems particularly appropriate when burned by a church, a more literal translation of the verse speaks of “fiery” trials. The above translation, however, rightly rams home the reality that trials are painful. They hurt. So that we won’t be unduly surprised and falsely condemn ourselves, God, in his Word, abundantly provides us with valuable, though sobering, guidance as to what to expect. Over and over, Jesus told people to follow him. As explorers wanting the glory of achievement must endure the dangerous and arduous journey, so it is with us. Following someone ensures you end up where he does. Since Christ rules the entire universe from Heaven’s Throne, that’s an astounding destination. To follow, however, also means that to reach that destination we will travel through the same territory that he did. Devout Bible-believers not only turned against him and mocked and opposed him but became the most bitter enemies anyone could ever have. That’s the route his journey took, and the one he expects us to take. While in the very act of doing good, respected religious leaders maliciously accused the one we are called to follow of the sin of breaking God’s law regarding the Sabbath. Over and over (Matthew 10:25; 12:24; Mark 3: 30; John 7:20; 8:48,52; 10:20) he was pronounced demon possessed. Bible scholars used God’s Word in unrelenting attempts to condemn him and to incite other believers to shun him. And, of course, he was judged guilty of blasphemy and sentenced to death by the nation’s most revered spiritual leaders. To leave us in no doubt that we could expect similar, our Lord more than once specifically preceded “follow me” with “take up your cross.” The cross, of course, was the means God-fearing people used to kill him. For confirmation that Jesus was not using some vague metaphor, but really meant we can expect to be atrociously treated by people renowned for their devotion to the God of the Bible, consider this: Matthew 10:17 Be on your guard against men; they will hand you over to the local councils and flog you in their synagogues [in Jesus’ day, synagogues were the closest thing to churches]. Jesus also warned: Matthew 24:10,12 At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other . . . the love of most will grow cold Matthew 7:15 Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves Likewise, Paul warned: Acts 20:29 I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. And don’t think we can follow our Lord and not be hurt by those nearest and dearest to us: Matthew 10:21-22,35-36 Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death. All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. . . . For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law – a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’ Nor should we imagine that our Role Model was hurt only by those who were not Jesus’ greatest followers. They criticized him, of course: Matthew 15:12 Then the disciples came to him and asked, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?” Matthew 15:23 . . . his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.” Matthew 16:22 Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!” But they did far worse. He was spiritually attacked so severely by Peter that Jesus had to tell him, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me . . .” (Matthew 16:23). Despite his love for Jesus, Peter was not only doing the devil’s work but he was being a stumbling block – someone with the potential to trip Jesus up and make him fall. Our Leader was betrayed by Judas, one of his hand-picked, prayerfully selected disciples. In the Garden he was let down not merely by the twelve, but by the most inner circle of disciples – James, Peter and John. Despite pleading with them to stay awake, they failed to give him emotional support during the most critical time of his life. And then they fled. And then, as we know full well, Peter emphatically and repeatedly denied ever knowing him. For further confirmation that not even the best of Jesus’ followers is exempt from similar treatment, consider how the great apostles Peter and Paul were treated by fellow Christians: Peter Galatians 2:11,14 When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong. . . . When I saw that they were not acting in line with the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter in front of them all . . . Yes, it was Paul himself who did this, which would have made it hurt Peter even more, since Paul was such an important figure in the early church. Paul When Mark deserted Paul, it seems to have hurt Paul greatly and it busted up a great friendship and ministry team (Acts 15:38-39). What brings tears to my eyes, however, is how, in his moment of dire need, Paul was treated by large numbers of Christians for whom he had not only sacrificed immensely but they owed their spiritual lives to him: 2 Timothy 1:15-16 You know that everyone in the province of Asia has deserted me . . . At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. This cut Paul so deeply that he mentioned it two more times in this letter (2 Timothy 4:10,16). It seems even genuine preachers of the Gospel reveled in Paul’s imprisonment; seeing it as an opportunity to further their own ministries: Philippians 1:15-17 It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry . . . out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. He gallantly adds: Philippians 1:18 But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. . . . Remember Peter, Paul and Jesus the next time you are tempted to feel rejected or put down by the way Christians treat you. If not even that is enough, however, remember that the pattern had been established over and over for centuries before, in the lives of the Old Testament prophets and other people of God. It was so inevitable that, even before they started, God told some of them to expect to be treated atrociously by their own people. Even in its heyday, the early church in Jerusalem – the one so often revered and hailed as the perfect pattern – was marred by in-fighting that threatened to rip it apart. Things were painfully far from perfect in the church where “All the believers were together and had everything in common. . . . They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people,” (Acts 2:44-47). In Ananias and Sapphira there was an attempt to deceive church members (Acts 5:1-11). Then came a financial dispute that divided church members along ethnic lines. Some were apparently shown favoritism over others who seem to be treated as second class (Acts 6:1). Next, Paul’s past almost got him ostracized from this church (Acts 9:27). Later came a doctrinal division over circumcision (Acts 15:1-5). Then, though not in this church, the great apostles Paul and Barnabas “had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company,” (Acts 15:39). Portions of Paul’s letters make him seem like an embarrassing turn-off because of the way he felt compelled to tie himself in knots to contend with divisions and opposition in the churches he so passionately sought to serve. Even to this very day, appalling numbers of Christians misunderstand, or even despise, Paul because the churches he poured out his life to build up were continually teetering on spiritual disaster by turning their back on his divinely inspired preaching; thus forcing him to reassert his spiritual authority in ways that, to the less discerning reader, seem foolish, arrogant and/or harsh. For example: 2 Corinthians 11:23 Are they servants of Christ? (I am out of my mind to talk like this.) I am more. I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. 2 Corinthians 12:11 I have made a fool of myself, but you drove me to it. Consider these regrettable examples of problems within churches – problems that arose, not by the passage of many decades or centuries allowing churches to drift from the apostle’s doctrine and passion, but even early on: Romans 16:17-18 I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. . . . For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. . . . 1 Corinthians 1:11-13 . . . there are quarrels among you. What I mean is this: One of you says, “I follow Paul”; another, “I follow Apollos”; another, “I follow Cephas”; still another, “I follow Christ.” Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? . . . 1 Corinthians 3:3 You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarrelling among you, are you not worldly? 1 Corinthians 5:1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that does not occur even among pagans . . . 1 Corinthians 6:6-8 . . . one brother goes to law against another – and this in front of unbelievers! The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. . . . Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers. 1 Corinthians 8:12 When you sin against your brothers in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:18-21 . . . when you come together as a church, there are divisions among you . . . When you come together, it is not the Lord’s Supper you eat, for as you eat, each of you goes ahead without waiting for anybody else. One remains hungry, another gets drunk. . . . Or do you despise the church of God and humiliate those who have nothing? . . . 2 Corinthians 12:20 For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarrelling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder. Galatians 1:6-7 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel – which is really no gospel at all. Galatians 2:4 . . . some false brothers had infiltrated our ranks . . . Galatians 3:1,3 You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? . . . After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort? Galatians 5:15 If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. Philippians 2:21 For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. James 4:1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? 2 Peter 2:1-3 But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. . . . Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute. In their greed these teachers will exploit you . . . 2 Peter 2:13-15,20 . . . They are blots and blemishes, reveling in their pleasures while they feast with you. [This, and definitely Jude 12, suggests they were in the church.] With eyes full of adultery, they never stop sinning; they seduce the unstable; they are experts in greed – an accursed brood! They have left the straight way and wandered off to follow the way of Balaam son of Beor, who loved the wages of wickedness. . . . If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ [again implying these were in the church] and are again entangled in it and overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. 3 John 1:9-10 I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us. So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church. Jude 1:4 For certain men whose condemnation was written about long ago have secretly slipped in among you. They are godless men, who change the grace of our God into a license for immorality and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord. In the book of Revelation the Lord Jesus sent messages to seven churches and exposed deficiencies in all but one or perhaps two of them – depending on whether “you have little strength” (Revelation 3:8) is a criticism. Despite our Lord approving of none of the bad things happening in New Testament churches, he tolerated all of it, as explained in Jesus’ parable of the tares/weeds that the wise farmer allowed to grow with the wheat (Matthew 13:24-30). God is not stone. If you know the heart of God, you know that God is hurt every second of every day by literally millions of people. Yet he lets it happen. I’m not quite such a hypocrite as to not be exceedingly grateful for this. I’m part of humanity, each member of which has broken not only God’s laws but his heart. By the way we have treated him and the people he loves (which is everyone), you and I have pained him more times than we can count. Every time he has tolerated our behavior he was – at great cost to himself – mercifully giving us yet another chance. No matter how much fellow believers would end up failing Jesus, he never failed them. We know that long before it happened, Christ knew that among his nearest and dearest was one who would betray him (John 6:64,70; 13:18), turning him over to his killers, and that the rest would abandon him (Mark 14:27; John 16:32) and one would point blank deny him not once but three times (Luke 22:34). But he never let their failings drag him down to their level. On the contrary, he kept on loving them until his love eventually raised most of them to his level. At the Last Supper, just before he washed the feet of Judas and all the others who were soon to abandon him, Scripture comments that Jesus loved them “to the end” (John 13:1) or, as some translations put it, “to the very end.” The forgiving Lord kept on loving. A fish might forget how to swim and we might forget to breathe but Jesus will never forget to love. To keep on loving is simply who he is. He was a man of a thousand options, and every one of them is love. His love is relentless; unstoppable; a freight train with no brakes careering down immovable rails. In the extremity of the moment, as they pounded nails through his hands, they pieced his heart, and all the pent up emotion gushed out: “Father, forgive them . . .” And he who has promised to fill us with himself, calls us to follow him. To keep on loving as Jesus did, demands dying to self. So it is not surprising that Jesus linked denying oneself with following him (Mark 8:34). To follow Christ is to take love to extremes that are as outrageous as they are courageous. Righteousness without love is as absurd as gold ingots without gold: Matthew 22:40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments [To love God and love one’s neighbor.].” Romans 13:9 The commandments, “Do not commit adultery,” “Do not murder,” “Do not steal,” “Do not covet,” and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love is everything. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 8:1 . . . Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. Galatians 5:6 . . . The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. 1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 John 4:8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. We have mentioned “fiery trials’ and how painful they are. Despite such trials usually being instigated by the devil himself and causing immense distress, however, the God of love turns these attacks on their head. When the Almighty turns these scoundrels on their heads, so many blessings drop out of their pockets that Scripture says we have genuine reason to rejoice whenever a trial sends us reeling (James 1:2). Expounding this here, in the context of love, is appropriate because turning everything into a source of good is a divine promise to those who love God (Romans 8:28). This is yet another way in which love is at the heart of a victorious Christian life. Only now dare I elaborate on the mysterious gold hinted at in the beginning of this webpage. I am not insensitive to the reality that appreciating its worth can be beyond us when we find ourselves pushed to extremes by blinding pain and/or anger. I raise the matter now because the enigma becomes more intelligible upon discovering that we have a divine fellow sufferer, and when examined in the context of the critical importance of love and following Christ’s example. Even so, perhaps we should both take a deep breath before proceeding. What makes flaws in churches so devastating and yet so valuable is that relating to people who hurt us is essential for us to grow in Christlikeness. Our Lord’s staggering achievement in managing to wring good from disasters in no way lessens the severity of the offences. Jesus’ words still echo: Luke 17:2 It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. Nevertheless, the greater the atrocities we suffer, the greater our opportunities for eternal honor. Even in eras when the likelihood of dying in childbirth was terrifyingly high, and prior to pain relief, even if it soared to intolerable levels, literally millions of normal women willingly endured it all to have children. I cannot do less but regard every one of them as a hero. I owe so many of them literally everything because if it were not for countless generations of such heroes, I would not exist. Embracing pain and enormous risks is what life is all about. To shrink from them is to shrivel up inside and cease to truly live. If, on the other hand, we suffer with Christ we will reign with him (2 Timothy 2:12). Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 2 Corinthians 4:17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

Healing from Spiritual Abuse God & Abuse Spiritual Abusers Identified Victims of spiritual abuse stand in holy company. The eternal Son of God, like the prophets before him, was not only the victim of malicious gossip and hate from spiritual leaders, they arranged his death. Though unmistakable in Jesus’ case, it is appallingly possible to be a victim of spiritual abuse without even realizing it. It is terrifyingly easier, however, to be an offender without realizing it. Jesus, the defender of all abuse victims, said it well: John 8:7 . . . If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone . . . Luke 6:42 . . . first take the plank out of your eye . . . Despite the danger of exposing ourselves to judgment, most of us are far more concerned about the healing of our own hurts than discovering how to avoid unintentionally hurting others. Nevertheless, as medical researchers must study the cause in order to find the cure, our investigation of the nature of spiritual abuse will reveal ways to heal it. The first stage in developing a cure is learning how to diagnose the affliction. This where the healing begins. What is Spiritual Abuse? In Christian Definition of Spiritual Abuse I define spiritual abuse this way: Spiritual abuse is wrongly giving the impression that God approves, while doing something that ends up harming the victim physically, emotionally or spiritually. Sadly, it is rampant everywhere and is often not deliberate. What makes spiritual abuse particularly despicable is that it is claiming, or implying, divine approval for acting in a way that grieves God. The result not only blackens God’s name but hurts people who are dear to him – and everyone is dear to the God who is love. Obtaining a definition, however, is the bare beginning. By itself, defining the problem will do little more to ensure the detection of spiritual abuse than defining cancer as “the uncontrolled division of abnormal cells” ensures we can detect cancer in time to prevent it from killing us. Our definition is just a base camp from which to launch essential exploratory expeditions to discover how to identify each of the many forms spiritual abuse takes. To have much chance of detecting spiritual abuse, and of understanding why it is so prevalent, most of us need to develop a deeper understanding of people and – even more critical – a much deeper understanding of God. We have quite an adventure ahead of us. On our discovery expeditions we will uncover little-understood, but critically important, biblical facts about spiritual abuse. We will come face to face with how alarmingly vulnerable each of us is, not just to abuse, but to actually becoming spiritual abusers ourselves with no idea of the devastation we cause. We tread on fearfully holy ground. Our Lord’s loving heart is torn by our pain. He passionately longs not only to comfort us but to avenge us, and yet love-fired justice requires him to be equally severe when we end up hurting others and fail to see our own need to repent. We have a God who is eager to forgive, heal and restore, however, and eager to transform horrors and terrifyingly dangerous ungodly attacks into blessings that boost us, fill us with honor and increase our Christlikeness. As we keep close to him, the Lord who leads us in triumph will keep us safe. Like other forms of abuse, spiritual abuse can range from minor to severe, and victims might suffer horrifically without even recognizing it as abuse. They could, for instance, be fooled by their abusers into thinking it is entirely the victim’s fault. They can end up so riddled with guilt and self-blame or confusion and/or so manipulated by their abusers that to them the perpetrators seem innocent. Also like other forms of abuse, those who have not been victims rarely understand just how devastating it is and how difficult it is to recover from. We have already noted that our perfect Role Model frequently suffered spiritual abuse. For example, religious authorities often falsely accused our Savior of sin. They called him a glutton and a drunk, alleged he broke the Sabbath, attacked him for allowing his disciples to eat without ceremonial washing, pronounced him guilty of blasphemy for claiming to forgive someone’s sin, and so on (Scriptures). From theologians to common folk, God-fearing Bible-believing people not only accused the Son of God of being out of his mind, they even accused him time and time again of being demon possessed (Scriptures). And, of course, the religious elite bribed one of his closest friends, tried him for blasphemy using false witnesses, pronounced him guilty, and arranged for his torture and execution. We can be as thick as a molasses sandwich and still realize that being tortured to death would be rather unpleasant. Except for those who have been on the receiving end, however, few of us realize what deep emotional wounds false accusations from respected people can cause. Spiritual Harm? Whilst physical harm is easy to identify and understand, emotional harm is harder to define. Spiritual harm, however, can seem still vaguer. Even well-meant actions can end up damaging someone else’s walk with God. Some people actually give up on God because they mistakenly believe that someone’s misguided actions mean that God has rejected them and that trying to serve him is therefore futile. Some conclude that God must not be worthy of worship; that he is not good and loving but must be heartless, arrogant and unjust, like their abusers who claim to represent him. To deepen our understanding of spiritual harm, let’s visit a concrete example in the Word of God. To minimize your reading, I will prune the quotes but all of the condensed text provided needs to be read. The quotes address an era when many Christians were from a Jewish background; having it drummed into them from infancy that certain foods were unclean. In addition, it was hard to get meat except from markets in which the animals had first been sacrificed to false gods. Using such meat, simply because it is food, is not sin. It becomes sin, however, should one eat it because it had been offered to an idol i.e. because one believes in those gods and is seeking some spiritual benefits from them, or eating despite believing that doing so is sinning against the true God. It is a case where everything hinges on one’s motives and beliefs. Although this specific situation rarely occurs in modern western society, the danger of one’s behavior leading to spiritual abuse is as high today as it was back then. So let’s examine these Scriptures. A spiritual abuser does not follow these divine instructions: Romans 14:1,4,10,13,15,20-15:2 Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. . . . Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. . . . You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. . . . Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way. . . . If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. . . . Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall. So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. . . . We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. (Emphasis mine.) In the above, we find reference to stumbling and falling. Without considering the context, we cannot know if these words refer to something that is merely unpleasant or to tripping and hurtling over a cliff to be smashed to death on the rocks below: Matthew 21:44 He who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed. So let’s dig deeper into Paul’s words. The consequences of stumbling are not described in terms of scraping one’s knee or breaking one’s leg but to an infinitely more serious tragedy. This passage does not say the victims merely received a spiritual setback or were spiritually wounded. As serious as that might be, it goes way beyond that. It says they were destroyed. That must be about the strongest possible word to describe damage inflicted upon someone. And Scripture applies this word not just once, but twice above, plus a third time in a similar passage below. Besides meaning destroyed, the Greek word used here means killed or ruined and often it is used to describe the catastrophic and spiritually hopeless condition of those who are cut off from God and are therefore spiritually dead. Alongside Paul’s language, abuse is too mild a term. The inspired apostle’s strong language indicates that he is referring to annihilation – spiritual murder. This is not like an obviously atrocious situation where a lust-filled Christian sets out to seduce another Christian into sexual sin, and yet the result is equally devastating. Here’s a scary thought: Sheep tend to follow not just their shepherd, but other sheep. The passage we have been examining makes no mention of people with official church roles. It is proof that an ordinary Christian – not just someone in leadership – can end up spiritually “destroying” another Christian, even by doing something that of itself is morally acceptable. That’s terrifying – especially in the light of Jesus’ words: Matthew 18:6 But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. (Emphasis mine.) There is a close connection between these words of Jesus and Paul’s dissertation. Not only is Jesus referring to believers who end up falling into sin because of the actions of others, in the original Greek of Jesus’ statement, “causes . . . to sin” is the same word Paul used in the following Scriptures: Romans 14:21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall. 1 Corinthians 8:13 Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall. 2 Corinthians 11:29 Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin , and I do not inwardly burn? (Emphasis mine.) And the same Greek word used below for “cause people to sin”: Luke 17:1 . . . Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. is used in these Scriptures: Matthew 13:41-42 The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Romans 14:13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way. (Emphasis mine.) Crystal Clear Let’s consolidate our findings by considering other Scriptures about eating questionable food. My own comments are in square brackets: 1 Corinthians 8:1-2,4,7,9,11-12; 9:19,22; 10:32-11:1 Now about food sacrificed to idols: We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. . . . So then, about eating food sacrificed to idols: We know that an idol is nothing at all in the world and that there is no God but one. . . . But not everyone knows this. . . . Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak. . . . So this weak brother, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge. When you sin against your brothers in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ . [The Christians who are destroyed might be weak and lacking in spiritual knowledge but this makes them no less precious to God.] . . . Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. . . . To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. . . . Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God – even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ. (Emphasis and comments mine.) Spiritual knowledge is of immense value and yet it is frighteningly easy to let the slightest trace of selfish arrogance adulterate this precious gift of God and unintentionally misuse one’s superior spiritual insight; applying it in a way that ends up not just hurting but “destroying” spiritually vulnerable Christians. This is often so unintended that we can be totally oblivious to the devastation we have wreaked. Such abusers – and we are all in grave danger of becoming one – can end up feeling even more superior when the weaker Christian falls away. In their self-righteousness, abusers often have no idea that God holds them accountable for the grim consequences of their arrogant abuse of spiritual knowledge. Even more alarming: not seeing oneself as being at fault prevents one from repenting before Judgment Day. The offenders Paul wrote about were more knowledgeable, more doctrinally correct, spiritually stronger and, as explained in Romans 14:1-2, had greater faith. Nevertheless, the God we serve is not only the God of truth but the God of love. Like the devout Pharisees who tithed so rigorously (Luke 11:42), they neglected what drives the heart of God – selfless love that powers passionate concern for the sensitivities and vulnerabilities of others. We desperately need the heart of Christ: Isaiah 42:3 A bruised reed [something of no apparent use] he will not break, and a smoldering wick [not only apparently useless but a source of irritation] he will not snuff out. Isaiah 40:11,29 . . . He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. . . . He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Isaiah 61:1-3 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me . . . to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve . . . Psalms 103:14 for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. Psalms 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Jeremiah 30:17 ‘But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD, ‘because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.’ Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Comments mine.) Implications for Today Causing offense by what one eats has not been a hot issue for many Christians since the first century. The Word of God gives much space to this matter, however, because the principle – the critical importance of avoiding anything that could offend a fellow believer – is as relevant today as it ever was. A vast range of behaviors can cause us to “destroy” people spiritually. The most common instances occur when a person is deeply hurting and so is unusually vulnerable. As a constant reminder, people should be born with huge stickers permanently stuck on their foreheads screaming, “FRAGILE! Handle With Care!!!” There are times when the average person is more sensitive than most of us can conceive, and a few words can wreak more devastation than we dare imagine. During these times, people are emotionally as if they had huge open wounds: the slightest well-intentioned touch can send them reeling. Avoiding such people is a big temptation, especially when one is wise enough to fear doing or saying the wrong thing. Unfortunately, backing off from people at their most vulnerable time can not only tortuously intensify their pain; it can make them resentful of Christians and even cause some to fall away spiritually. When feeling down, people desperately need the warm support of Spirit-filled people who are brimming with the full gamut of the Spirit’s exquisite fruit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Each of these invaluable virtues is essential and deserves special attention but this webpage is already growing long. I am compelled, however, to spend a few words on joy. It is joy that gives us the strength we need to keep on going. In even bleak, icy conditions it steadies us from skidding into the depression and discouragement that would cripple our ability to be the support the person needs. When activated by love, it empowers us to light up at the sight of the person with the dreary life and to joyfully – not begrudgingly – “carry each other’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2). Especially with people who are hurting, however, it is vital that we display this precious quality with biblical wisdom. The Word of God insists that outward manifestations of joy need to be tempered by sensitivity and empathy. Meditate on these Scriptures until the full implications sink deep into your spirit: Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn . 1 Corinthians 12:26 If one part [of the Body of Christ] suffers, every part suffers with it Hebrews 13:3 Remember those . . . who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering . Ecclesiastes 3:4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance Proverbs 25:20 Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day . . . is one who sings songs to a heavy heart. (Emphasis and comments mine.) We must not “become weary in doing good” (Galatians 6:9). People who are hurting might need extra support not for days or weeks but possibly for years. We must not self-righteously think, “they should be over it by now.” That would be displaying our own failure to have Christlike patience. Tragically, whilst backing off from people with problems can cause untold harm, the same devastating result can flow from well-meant words of advice that are biblically correct but on that specific occasion are not Spirit-led. It might initially seem beyond belief that kind-hearted attempts to advise a hurting Christian could end up causing untold emotional and spiritual harm, but it happens tragically often. Let’s consider some Scriptural instances. An example of a well-intentioned comment that could have had cataclysmic results is Simon Peter exclaiming, “Never, Lord! This shall never happen to you!” when Jesus spoke of his suffering. I’m sure it was devout love for Jesus that drove Peter to utter those words. Had Jesus been swayed by Peter’s passionate plea, however, Christ would not have suffered for the sins of the world and we would all have been doomed. Jesus responded to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me . . .” (Matthew 16:23). The word here translated “stumbling block” is used in the passage we have quoted from Romans 14 about tripping up a believer by misusing one’s superior spiritual knowledge about food offered to idols. Job’s godly friends are another obvious example of good intentions turning poisonous. Despite trying so hard to honor God and help their friend they ended up grossly offending God (Job 42:7-8) by adding to Job’s torment. Like most of us – including Peter in the previous example – they were too quick to judge when someone’s experience did not fit their neatly-packed theology. There was so much truth in what they said that 1 Corinthians cites as authoritative Scriptural truth what one of these friends said. As staggering as it seems that godly people could use an excellent grasp of spiritual truth in a way that provokes God’s wrath by hurting godly people, it is exactly what we saw earlier, with Christians using their superior doctrinal knowledge to spiritually “destroy” Christians who are needlessly sensitive about certain food. We also saw in Paul’s dealing with this matter warnings about the terrifying dangers of judging people. With our understanding of life’s spiritual complexities being tinier than almost all of us realize, we stand in constant danger of becoming like a butcher who thinks his training qualifies him to be a backyard brain surgeon. There will be no shortage of misguided people who feel duty-bound to sink the boot into anyone so “unspiritual” as to act like the vast number of people revered in the Bible who shed tears instead of wearing fake smiles when pain or tragedy strikes (see Real Christians Grieve at the end of this webpage). There will always be know-alls who seem to think Christians should be more Spirit-filled than the apostle Paul who, despite concerted prayer, remained afflicted by his “thorn in the flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). The church will have its share of self-appointed critics who read in Scripture’s Faith Gallery of those who, “. . . went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated . . . They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground” (Hebrews 11:35-38) and yet still think every Christian suffering trials or hardship must be lacking faith. There will be no shortage of Christians eager to display their inexperience by stoning you with Scriptures and platitudes as if you were too ignorant to have already heroically tried to apply all the pat answers. You will keep finding Christians who act like couch potatoes quick to give an opinion of elite sportsmen despite never having played the sport in their lives. We will join their ranks unless we flee advice-giving as we would a deadly temptation, and use words as sparingly as a miser. James 1:26 If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. James tried to tell us how dangerous our words are when he said our tongues are like a tiny spark that can ignite a wildfire, wiping out vast areas of forest (James 3:5-6). We need to handle our words like an unstable bomb strapped to our bodies that at any moment could blow our heads off and rip apart everyone within earshot. Don’t suppose I’m being melodramatic. In addition to what God said through James about the devastating power of the tongue, and Paul saying we have the power to destroy Christians by doing seemingly innocuous things, Jesus declared that on Judgment Day we will have to account for every careless word (Matthew 12:36). He taught that “anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell,” (Matthew 5:22) and that death by drowning is preferable to abusing the gift of life by using it as an opportunity to cause someone to fall into sin (Mark 9:42). “The tongue has the power of life and death,” (Proverbs 18:21). We try too hard to help people with our mouths; overvaluing what we can say and undervaluing what we can do. 1 John 3:18 Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. James 2:15-16 Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? We feel too pressured to come up with answers and too lazy to provide practical help; too keen to flap our gums and too reluctant to offer a hug, a meal and genuine companionship. We are too fast at pointing the finger and too slow at lending a hand; too quick to quote the Bible at others and too slow to live it ourselves; too eager to act superior and too proud to weep with those who weep. 1 John 3:17 If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 1 Thessalonians 5:15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. Galatians 6:10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galatians 6:2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 1 Timothy 6:18 Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. Matthew 25:41-43,45 Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ . . . ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ “Keep your trap shut!” is not just a common expression; our mouths often really are a trap. “Set a guard over my mouth,” prayed the psalmist (Psalms 141:3). When we do open our mouths, however, what falls out must be as gentle as floating feathers, as soothing as ointment and as comforting as satin pillows. Our hearts need to be as resilient as rubber but they must also be warm havens, as soft as down and as sensitive as a silken spider’s thread. Colossians 4:6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt . . . Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Proverbs 16:23 A wise man’s heart guides his mouth . . . Proverbs 15:4 The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life . . . Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. (Emphasis mine.) Here are three closely related, insidiously seductive temptations: pride, self-righteousness and thinking ourselves better than others. These temptations are so dangerously intoxicating as to make death preferable to falling into them. Any of them can delude us so terrifyingly that, like Job’s friends, we can end up working for Satan while gleefully convinced we are delighting God. To avoid our own spiritual calamity, we desperately need to live the following Scriptures: Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Matthew 23:8-12 But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. . . . Nor are you to be called ‘teacher,’ for you have one Teacher, the Christ. The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. James 4:12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you – who are you to judge your neighbor? James 3:17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Job 6:14 To him who is about to . . . despair, kindness is due from his friend, lest he forsake the fear of the Almighty. (Amplified Bible) Philippians 4:5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. . . . 1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Proverbs 19:11 A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. 1 Corinthians 13:7 Love . . . is ever ready to believe the best of every person . . . (Amplified Bible) Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Proverbs 10:19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. James 1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry Proverbs 12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 17:14 Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. Hebrews 12:14 Make every effort to live in peace with all men . . . Knowing spiritual truth is not enough; unless it is humbly applied in godly love, gentleness and wisdom, enormous harm could result. “If I . . . can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, . . . but have not love, I am nothing (1 Corinthians 13:2). It is vital that we learn how to prevent attempts to comfort people from ending in spiritual disaster. For much more help on this topic see How to Comfort the Hurting (a link appears at the end of this webpage) but for now, let’s move on. The Horror of “Friendly Fire” As someone who has supported vast numbers of sexual abuse survivors, I find many parallels between sexual abuse and spiritual abuse. I am sadly aware that it is not just adult males who have the potential to be child molesters. Despite it being rarely publicized, sexual abusers of little children can sometimes be other children or their own mothers. Little children are often excused for their sexual activity because they have little awareness of the consequences but that does not lessen the damage they are capable of inflicting. Likewise, not just influential Christians, but anyone can become a spiritual abuser. In fact, most of us have at some time been a spiritual abuser without realizing it, and the more we act as if we have spiritual knowledge, the more likely it is that we could end up spiritually abusing someone. This is why we read: James 3:1-2 Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. . . . This is not merely saying we need to be cautious about accepting an official church role: we “presume to be teachers” whenever we give the slightest spiritual advice to fellow believers. Tragically, spiritual abusers not only claim to be doing what is right, they often sincerely believe it. Unfortunately, sincerity does not lessen the harm done. Over and over, the Bible says we are at war. One of the features of warfare is what is sometimes called friendly fire – soldiers convinced they are heroically fighting the enemy when they are actually attacking with deadly force people on their own side. What makes this such a tragedy is that they are mistakenly killing and maiming people who, if only they knew, they would give their lives to protect. Then there is what is sometimes called collateral damage – innocent people unintentionally killed or wounded by attempts to fight the enemy. Tragic accident, perhaps, but the result can be just as deadly as if it were intentional. Those not understanding the confusion of war and the deceit of the enemy might find it inconceivable that they could ever be guilty of such an atrocious blunder. People think this way not because they are superior but simply because they are naïve. The equivalent of these aspects of war accounts for a huge proportion of spiritual abuse. All of us sincere, fallible Christians are quite capable of becoming so confused that we hurt others and remain quite oblivious of our grave error. What escalates friendly fire to an even more devastating level is if those fired upon assume that whoever is attacking them must be the enemy and fight back. If others have mistakenly attacked you, please resist the instinctive urge to fight back. That would double the tragedy and make you as guilty as the offenders. Scary Thought To be hurt by an unbeliever can send us reeling but to be hurt by a fellow believer is even more devastating. It is to be ambushed by a betrayal on the level of what Jesus suffered at the hands of his follower and intimate friend, Judas. If you have suffered this, you have not just witnessed an appalling abuse of power, you have been a victim, like an unsuspecting lamb suddenly torn apart by a vicious wolf wickedly disguised as a harmless sheep. If you have been attacked like this without filling with anger, you must still be in shock. Moreover, regardless of how little you realize it, you are infinitely precious to God. That anyone should hurt you infuriates God – and even more so that someone should act in the name of Jesus in a manner that is so atrociously contrary to the heart of God. The terrifying extent of God’s love-fired anger at such an act is implied in Scriptures already cited: Matthew 13:41-42 The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Luke 17:1-2 . . . Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. (Emphasis mine.) This situation, however, ignites the immense danger of us judging and resenting others for spiritual abuse when we ourselves have also been guilty of this offense. Most likely, the only difference is that our offense took a slightly different form that, blinded by our own hypocrisy, we consider to be more excusable. As much as we long to lash out at others in self-righteous fury, we must remain in holy fear of God’s warning: Luke 6:37 Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Matthew 7:3 Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? Romans 2:1 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself . . . 1 Corinthians 4:5 Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God. James 4:11 . . . Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it . . . Our loving Lord is not only our divine avenger, but justice and fairness force him to become the avenger of those who we end up hurting as we thrash about in our own pain and ignorance. It is tragically common, for example, for abuse victims to end up shunning or lashing out at other Christians and by so doing become spiritual abusers themselves and establish entire cycles of abuse. It is only right that divine forgiveness of our own offenses hinges on our willingness to forgive those who have sinned against us. Never is it God’s answer to guilt to say that someone is even more culpable than you, therefore you are innocent. God’s answer is to say that only one Person in all human history is totally innocent and he suffered the full punishment for the sins of every person who acknowledges how desperately he/she needs forgiveness. Minor Abuse? Another biblical example of spiritual abuse is the formerly blind man who was banned from the synagogue. That must be about Seven on the Richter Scale of obvious spiritual abuse, but note how seriously God in his Word takes what we might be tempted to dismiss as an almost inconsequential incident: James 2:1-4,8-9 My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don’t show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? . . . If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. (Emphasis mine.) To understand why such a seemingly minor event offends Almighty God so deeply, we have to better understand the heart of God. Humanity’s Eternal Judge sees things alarmingly different from us: 1 Samuel 16:7 . . . The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. Proverbs 16:2 All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD. Isaiah 55:8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. Luke 16:15 . . . You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God’s sight. John 8:15 You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one. Hebrews 4:13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. To have any chance of understanding God’s heart for Christians we might think are insignificant, we need to take very seriously the following biblical teaching. You are no doubt familiar with it but my prayer is that you re-read it with fresh eyes: 1 Corinthians 12:12-27 The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. . . . If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. . . . But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. . . . The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. [Your hair receives more attention than your liver, but which is more important?] And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. (Comments mine.) The most powerful ministry is probably intercession. And heaven’s greatest earth-based intercessor could be the pew-warmer you snubbed at church last Sunday. In the short term, evil has its fling, but we live in a universe in which ultimately the first ends up last, the exalted are humbled and the lowly are lifted high. We serve a Good Shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine to find the lost one (Luke 15); who rejoices that God has hidden spiritual truths from the intellectuals and theologians and revealed them to the unlearned (Matthew 11:25). The Almighty delights in bypassing those considered smart, cool, sexy and powerful, in order to give preference to those everyone overlooks (1 Corinthians 1:18-29). In Scripture, the socially and/or economically disadvantaged – widows, orphans and foreigners – are repeatedly singled out as recipients of God’s care and attention: Deuteronomy 10:18 He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing. If anyone has a heart for the rejected, it is the Son of God. He himself is the “stone the builders rejected” (Luke 20:17; 1 Peter 2:4). As I have written elsewhere: It was the common people who heard this Man gladly (Mark 12:37). And it was from their ranks that he hand-picked the ones to fire the world with his glory. He chose hotheads with provincial accents, a tax man – a small-time turncoat any self-respecting citizen would spit on – and logheads with the stench of fish on their callused hands. Christ was continually aware of the invisible people, whether it was a despised tax collector peering through the leaves (Luke 19:2-9), or an unclean woman pressing through the throng (Luke 8:43-48); a wild-eyed madman in the Decapolis back-blocks (Luke 8:27-33); a grieving widow (Luke 7:11-15), or a luckless loner at the pool (John 5:2 ff); a sightless misfit, or a stinking leper; a cripple, or a mute. To a tired and hungry Jesus, befriending a spurned woman – giving hope to a Samaritan living in shame – was more important than food (John 4:7 ff). Society’s rejects warmed his heart. It seemed wherever there was a paltry act of kindness you’d find religious people simmering with contempt, and Jesus glowing with admiration. A pauper slipping a pittance into the offering, (Mark 12:41-44) a street woman’s pathetic washing of his feet, (Luke 7:36-50) a boy’s fish sandwiches, (John 6:9-11) thrilled him. Mary just sat on the floor in rapt attention. That was enough to fill him with praise (Luke 10:39-42). Jesus was forever shocking his observers by selecting non-entities for special attention. Society saw a dirty beggar, a nauseating blotch on the neighborhood, a curiosity for theological debate (is it right to heal on the Sabbath? who sinned, he or his parents?), Jesus saw a worthy recipient of his powerful love; a precious work of God brimming with beauty, dignity and heart-wrenching need; someone to die for (John 9:1 ff). While crowds turned up their noses, he poured out his heart. The masses tried to silence blind Bartimeus, the loud-mouthed groveler (Mark 10:46-52). They sneered at Zacchaeus, the money-grubbing runt who soon towered over them by displaying exceptional generosity (Luke 19:2-8). His followers wanted to push aside snotty children (Mark 10:13-16). They opposed the Canaanite lowlife whose incessant nagging was driving them to distraction (Matthew 15:23). No one could guess who Jesus would next honor. It was sure to be some faceless loser they had not even noticed, or an embarrassing nuisance they wished would skulk away. Jesus came to show us the Father (John 14:9). Today, the religious world still looks at the big names, while God treasures the ‘unknowns’. He delights to endow with eternal grandeur their simple acts of service. And anyone not displaying his heart toward the “least” of his brethren is a spiritual abuser hurtling toward a divine confrontation (Matthew 25:41-46). Breaking God’s Heart “In the Name of Jesus” Almost any form of unchristlike behavior has the potential to become spiritual abuse, not only if it is done in the name of Christ, but even if done by someone who is mistakenly seen by an observer as representing Christ. Whenever the offender claims to have divine approval or is viewed by others as being godly, every form of abuse has a spiritual dimension. This is all about the nature of abusers and nothing about the nature of God who, of course, is utterly opposed to any form of abuse. For example, appalling amounts of marital abuse have been perpetuated by men blasphemously claiming that being “head” gives them the divine right to being utterly unchristlike. (There’s a link at the end of this page about this.). Similarly, I know of a child who, for no reason that she was ever able to discern, was mercilessly beaten night after night after night by her church-going mother and father while they played praise music and claimed to be following God’s directives as to how to raise children. Throughout history, including modern times, wars have been declared, laws passed, and political decisions made that have turned God’s stomach and yet were done in the name of God or with the vocal support of people claiming to have his heart and values. Like con artists, abusers who are aware of what they are doing feel many pressing reasons for going to great lengths to appear respectable, trustworthy, and even godly. Children, in particular, lack the ability to see through their deceit but, as we shall see later, Scripture warns that some deceivers can dupe very many people. If an abuser tricks everyone into thinking he is an exemplary Christian (and hence a person of high integrity) he is much more likely to be granted access to vulnerable people. And the greater the illusion of respectability an abuser can concoct, the less likely it is that others will suspect what he is doing to his victims. Moreover, it enables him to manipulate his victims, causing them to think, “Everyone respects this person, so what he does to me must be acceptable, even though it doesn’t feel right.” Additionally, it is likely to silence victims, making them presume, “I’ll be labelled a liar if I tell anyone that such a respected person has treated me this way.” Yet another force driving abusers to deceitfully claim that God is on their side is that they are often plagued with guilt over their atrocious behavior. In a desperate attempt to deflect that guilt, they typically keep telling their victims that the abuse is the victims’ fault. (A further reason is that victims who end up believing these false accusations will be even less likely to ever tell anyone.) Often it is because abusers are frantically trying to drown out the screams of their own guilty conscience that they end up maliciously and hypocritically trying to fabricate religious justification for behavior that disgusts God. Understanding Spiritual Wounds Whereas many physical wounds heal within a few months, emotional wounds can last a lifetime if they are not courageously faced and resolved. Spiritual wounds, however, are far more serious. They can ruin us for all eternity. This is why we saw earlier God’s Word using such strong language to describe the devastation they can cause. On the other hand, whereas physical harm and a degree of emotional pain can sometimes be unavoidable, spiritual harm – letting someone trip us up in our walk with God – can be avoided, just as temptation is unavoidable but yielding to temptation can be avoided. Jesus, for instance, agonized emotionally over those who rejected him and he was physically beaten and killed, but nothing anyone hurled at him shook his faith or his commitment to God. It is sadly common for victims of any form of abuse to add to their torment by blaming themselves. I certainly do not want to inadvertently contribute to that. Your Lord was tortured to death precisely to relieve you of all blame. The eternal King of kings let Roman soldiers beat him up so that you would not beat yourself up. You owe it to God not to break your Savior’s heart and insult God’s holiness by treating yourself as if Jesus had not suffered enough pain and humiliation to cleanse you from all sin and shame. You have been so exalted and honored that you – yes you – are the very righteousness of God: 2 Corinthians 5:21 God made him [Jesus] who had no sin to be sin for us, [though totally innocent, Jesus bore in his entire being the full consequences of our sin] so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (Comments mine.) So I plead with you to stop offending God by beating yourself up over things God says are forgotten (If you still wrestle with forgiving yourself, there is a link at the end of this page for you). What I would like to do, however, is help you be less susceptible to the harm that spiritual abuse would otherwise cause. For as long as you look to people, feelings or circumstances to verify spiritual truth, you will remain weak and vulnerable. If the Evil One knows you will be thrown by what happens to you or by what people say or do, he can twist you around his little finger just by influencing things around you. You are inviting him to attack because he knows his actions will keep you from trusting the Lord, who alone can defeat him. It is hard to do but we should keep striving for the Apostle Paul’s perspective: 1 Corinthians 4:3-4 I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. When referring to “James, Peter and John, those reputed to be pillars [of the church]” (Galatians 2:9) he wrote: Galatians 2:9 As for those who seemed to be important – whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not judge by external appearance . . . (Emphasis mine.) We leave ourselves wide open to people hurting us spiritually if we slip into idolizing them; unwittingly exalting them to the position that belongs to God alone. Put another way: we could miss out on so much comfort and insult the Infinite Lord by failing to adequately distinguish a puny, fallible human from the staggeringly perfect, eternal, omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent Creator of the entire cosmos. At first thought it would seem inconceivable that anyone could make such an enormous and fundamental mistake, and yet we unintentionally fall for it if ever we let the failings of someone claiming to be of God to cause us to doubt the perfection, goodness and love of the Exalted One. Remember our earlier biblical quote about the church, each member of which is as intimate and important to Christ as his very body. The inspired text says that if any part feels so inferior that it does not even think itself part of the body, it still remains critically important to Christ and just as much part of the body (1 Corinthians 12:15-16). And no part can legitimately say, “I don’t need you!” (1 Corinthians 12:21). A grasp of human psychology empowers us to understand why being hurt by people affects our walk with God. It is normal for fear to spread beyond the actual cause of harm to other things. For example, if a child suffered greatly from a snake bite, his instinctive reaction thereafter is to fear not just that specific snake or even that species of snake but also harmless snakes. He can even end up feeling uneasy about eels and large worms. Even though one might be intellectually convinced that certain snakelike creatures are harmless, reaching the point where one no longer shrinks from them is exceedingly challenging. Likewise, fears stemming from the trauma of being betrayed by a human typically spread beyond being wary of that person to fearing certain other humans and often to feeling uneasy about God. Those of us who have suffered such a betrayal usually need to keep working on defusing this natural reaction by continually grounding ourselves; reminding us of how different God is to those who let us down. Ful recovery is typically a long and highly demanding process but persisting despite the difficulties brings immense rewards. Every form of abuse – in fact, every trace of suffering – has the potential to harm us spiritually if we fail to adequately see the vast difference between God and evil. We must start by realizing that just because something is allowed to happen does not mean it must have God’s approval. If everything that happens has divine approval, then sin is impossible, Jesus died for nothing and the entire Bible is a pack of lies. Sin, by definition, is breaking God’s law – and his heart. It is refusing to do God’s will and, of course it has devastating consequences because God’s will is never motivated by divine selfishness but solely by what is loving, good and wise. Sin hurts not only the sinner and human bystanders and victims but it pains the heart of the God who loves with his entire being the sinner and everyone that the sin directly or indirectly hurts. To again quote from another of my webpages: God is good, and to be good is to deliberately restrain oneself, rather than selfishly abuse one’s power. You cannot fervently love someone without aching for that person to love you – especially if you know that person desperately needs you in his/her life. To deeply love someone means you could have everything else in the universe, and yet without that person’s love you would still be heartbroken. To love is to make oneself so vulnerable that even having unlimited power could not help. Omnipotence could easily force someone to obey you. Or it could produce something like a ‘love’ potion, causing a person to be under the illusion of loving you. But genuine love can never be compelled. If attempts to induce love involve force or chemicals or deceit or bribery it is a sham, and can never satisfy your yearning for that person’s love. There are things that not even omnipotence can achieve. It cannot, for example, produce a square circle. It can easily turn a circle into a square, but the instant it has straight sides it is not a circle. Likewise, when someone is forced to act in love, it is not genuine love. Even with unlimited power, there is little anyone could do to induce genuine love in a person, other than be loving and wait for a response. We would be appalled if a man kidnapped a woman and raped and enslaved her because he claims he loves her, wants her as his wife and is convinced he can make her happy. It would be an immoral abuse of power, regardless of whether he used physical force or threats – in which case she would be conscious of the violation of her rights – or if he used drugs or hypnotism so that she is unaware that what is happening is against her will. Real love respects the desires of the beloved, no matter how much it clashes with the lover’s personal longings, and no matter how certain he is that the person would benefit from a lifelong intimacy with him. For much more about the relationship between God and suffering, see a link at the end of this webpage. Why Doesn’t the God of Love Instantly Eradicate Spiritual Abuse? Humans can let us down, but we must never imagine that their failure implies that God is capable of letting us down. Jesus told a parable in which tender wheat plants mixed with weeds were allowed to grow together until harvest time (representing Judgment Day), at which time the weeds were destroyed and the wheat preserved. The weeds did not appear with the wheat because of the farmer’s negligence. They are specifically stated to be the work of his enemy. (There was even a Roman law outlawing this very thing.) Even more than the wheat, the farmer – representing God – is the victim of this malicious act. The weeds were allowed to grow, however, for the sake of the wheat. The weeds were probably a type of ryegrass, known as darnel, whose grain is poisonous. When immature, darnel looks so much like wheat that it is actually called false wheat in some regions where it occurs. As explained in the parable, this similarity in outward appearance means that attempting to weed out the darnel before harvest time could result in some genuine wheat being lost. It is a well-accepted fact of biblical interpretation that parables contain key points of similarity with spiritual reality but cannot be made to perfectly match it in every single aspect. If this parable were to totally fit spiritual reality, a feature that weeds do not have would have to be added: the weeds would somehow have to have the potential to turn into wheat (as in the parable of unproductive fig tree that was spared in the hope that it would become productive the next year – [Luke 13:6-9]). Despite some workers mentioned in the parable yearning to immediately rip out the weeds, God is wiser. He mercifully allows people worthy of judgment to remain because they might repent before Judgment Day and could then be eternally spared. Sadly, the opposite is also possible: as Jesus explained in the Parable of the Sower (the parable he gave immediately before launching into this one), people can be “sown” with the Word of God and start off well but spiritually wither and die before reaching their potential. Our Lord makes it crystal clear in his Word that this principle of wheat and weeds growing up side by side applies not just to the world in general but to his own church. As in the parable of the enemy sowing weeds in a good crop of wheat, this situation is not ideal but it occurs because, prior to Judgment Day, we live in a realm where God’s enemy – as well as God – is at work. Moreover, the hastening of Judgment Day would result in the eternal destruction of those who might have repented had they been allowed more time: 2 Peter 3:9-10 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. . . . ( The word perish above, is the same Greek word used in Romans 14:15 and 1 Corinthians 8:11 to describe the spiritual destruction that believers can bring upon other believers by misusing their superior spiritual knowledge. ) Living even in Jesus’ trusted inner circle of friends and confidantes – the financial administrator, in fact (John 12:4-6) – was Judas. This side of Judgment Day, God has never promised to weed out of his church every potentially deadly source of offense. On the contrary, over and over and over, God in his Word keeps warning that false teachers and so on, will be in the church, seeking to deceive believers. So, as tragic as it is, whenever people in the church deliberately or inadvertently try to spiritually destroy us, it is simply what the God who wants no one to perish (2 Peter 3:9, quoted above) warned would happen: 1 Peter 4:12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. Acts 20:29-31 I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard! . . . 2 Peter 2:1-3 . . . there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them – bringing swift destruction on themselves. Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute. In their greed these teachers will exploit you with stories they have made up. . . . Matthew 7:15 Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. John 16:2-4 They will put you out of the synagogue; in fact, a time is coming when anyone who kills you will think he is offering a service to God. . . . I have told you this, so that when the time comes you will remember that I warned you. . . . Matthew 7:22-23 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’ Matthew 24:24 For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect – if that were possible. (Emphasis mine.) Galatians 2:4 This matter arose because some false brothers had infiltrated our ranks to spy on the freedom we have in Christ Jesus and to make us slaves. Jude 1:4,12 For certain men whose condemnation was written about long ago have secretly slipped in among you. They are godless men, who change the grace of our God into a license for immorality and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord. . . . These men are blemishes at your love feasts, eating with you without the slightest qualm – shepherds who feed only themselves. They are clouds without rain, blown along by the wind; autumn trees, without fruit and uprooted – twice dead. Revelation 2:20-21,24 Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess. By her teaching she misleads my servants . . . I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling. . . . Now I say to the rest of you in Thyatira, to you who do not hold to her teaching and have not learned Satan’s so-called deep secrets (I will not impose any other burden on you) . . . Stranger Danger? Earlier we spoke of spiritual murder. With physical murder, statistics indicate that one is more likely to be killed by a family member or someone one knows well than by a stranger. This is reminiscent of Jesus’ warning: Matthew 10:35-36 For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law – a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’ Jesus was quoting the prophet who introduced these words by saying: Micah 7:5 Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Even with her who lies in your embrace be careful of your words. Likewise, the old stranger danger message did little to protect children from sexual predators because children’s greatest danger of molestation is from relatives, family friends and other people deeply trusted by the family. The same tragedy is played out in the spiritual realm: the most likely source of spiritual danger is from valued Christian friends and trusted spiritual leaders. These gut-wrenching facts of life will remain for as long as God’s mercy drives him to give people one last chance to repent before Judgment Day. Nevertheless, one would need mashed potatoes for brains to conclude that to keep safe we should abandon family, friends or deep Christian fellowship. These are the very things we need for emotional and spiritual wholeness. Heartbreak has indeed moved some tragic souls to never again love but they remain broken people. Despite our Lord choosing to make us dependent upon each other (1 Corinthians 12:21), however, God is our greatest need. He being preeminent in our hearts and minds and devotion is the linchpin without which everything else eventually falls apart. He is our security, our sanity and our sustenance. Matthew 22:37-38 . . .’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. Matthew 10:37 Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me Deuteronomy 13:6-8 If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend secretly entices you, saying, “Let us go and worship other gods” . . . do not yield to him or listen to him. Show him no pity. . . . Psalms 73:25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. Isaiah 49:15 Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! Any sane person would go to extremes not to lose a finger or foot or eye, but Christ remains infinitely more important. He is our head. Healing Power We have seen that although keeping our eyes firmly on Jesus will keep us from spiritual harm, we can still be hurt not just physically but emotionally. Not even the Almighty is untouched by emotional pain. Nevertheless, what will cleanse our emotional wounds, stopping them from festering, and speed our healing is to bless those who curse us – loving and forgiving everyone who acts like an enemy. My wife once asked God how he copes with all the pain of rejection, betrayal and disloyalty he keeps suffering from both Christians and non-Christians. “Love heals,” he replied. That response baffled me for quite a while but now I understand. Initially, love intensifies the pain. To be betrayed by a trusted Christian friend hurts so much more than being badly treated by someone who means nothing to you. Nevertheless, to keep on loving that person minimizes the total pain. In fact, the benefits of continual love can end up totally eclipsing the pain. People are imperfect. It hurts to love them. But to keep on loving brings healing, strength and the eternal honor of Christlikeness. A Scripture millions of us cherish insists that “. . . all things work together for good . . .” (KJV). This is not some platitude; it is a spiritual law jealously enforced by the One who passionately loves us – Almighty God. “All things” includes every form of abuse – even Judas betraying Jesus and religious authorities murdering the Son of God. Let’s examine this mind-boggling truth: Romans 8:28-29 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son . . . Just one condition is specified: that we keep on loving God. If we love God, we will obey him (John 14:15,23-24; 1 John 5:3). We will keep doing things God’s way, which includes remaining faithful to him no matter what is thrown at us, forgiving and blessing those who curse us, and so on. Moreover, as the quote reveals, if we genuinely love God, the good we yearn for is not our short-term pleasure but that we become more and more like Christ. A friend of mine was appallingly slandered by his pastor, not in private or even behind his back, but from the pulpit. He recalls being accused “of being a demon possessed, homosexual madman who was deceiving the people and sleeping with my mother. . . .” He was crushed. “I literally could not read the Bible for a year afterward because of all these accusations that had been hurled at me,” he admits. Nevertheless, he adds, “I smile about it now because, twenty-one years later, I know that those events were crucial to my spiritual education. I cannot begin to list all of the very painful yet profound lessons I learned . . .” Did God inspire that slander? Absolutely not. But once abuse occurs to those who keep on loving him, God ensures that, like our Savior, they never end up suffering in vain. We simply have to remain faithful to God, so that he can complete his astonishing work of bringing good out of evil. As staggering as it initially seems, if we hold on, we will end up rejoicing for all eternity over all the abuse we have suffered. Truth: An Awesome Responsibility What happens during our most impressionable years – such as having our trust seriously violated, being regularly abused by one or more parents, having our self-esteem crushed or being made to feel unlovable – can seriously challenge our ability to believe that God is so different to the way those close to us have treated us. Some pages that can help are: God as Tender as a Mother? How to Change Your Self-Image

Christian Definition of Spiritual Abuse What is spiritual abuse? is a crucial question. What makes finding an accurate Christian definition of spiritual abuse so important is that few victims realize while it is happening that this is what they are suffering. Typically, they presume that they are at fault, not the abuser. Even long after the abuse has ended, victims often continue to suffer but keep blaming themselves rather than realize they have been spiritually abused. Just as alarming, is that most spiritual abusers themselves think they are doing the right thing and do not realize they are guilty of abuse. I’m embarrassed to admit that for years I was mystified as to what spiritual abuse actually means and I never bothered to find out. My only excuse is that spiritual abuse is not a biblical term. The offense is so serious, however, that the concept is frequently mentioned in Scripture. Biblical knowledge had therefore familiarized me – and probably you – with the concept, even if modern terminology had left me scratching my head. So what is spiritual abuse? There might be different definitions but here’s mine: spiritual abuse is wrongly giving the impression that God approves, while doing something that ends up harming the victim physically, emotionally or spiritually. Sadly, it is rampant everywhere and is often not deliberate. What makes spiritual abuse particularly despicable is that it is claiming, or implying, divine approval for acting in a way that grieves God. The result not only blackens God’s name but hurts people who are dear to him – and everyone is dear to the God who is love. In How to Recover from Spiritual Abuse, Lost Confidence & Self-Hate, I explain why it is psychologically so hard to recognize spiritual abuse, especially if it had its beginning early in one’s spiritual life. It also explains that among the many causes of confusion is that abusers typically surround themselves with people who think they are wonderful. This inevitably shakes victims’ confidence; making them ask themselves, “Who am I to think that not only this person but all his admirers are wrong?” Moreover, abusers always slip their poison into genuine spiritual truth. There is so much indisputable biblical truth in what they say that we swallow not just the bait but the barb; not just genuine spiritual food but the hook that keeps us from fleeing. You are likely to benefit from reading the page just mentioned. For further help in understanding the nature of spiritual abuse, see Spiritual Abuse: Its Cause & Cure

Abusive Spiritual Leaders Identified Spiritually Abusive Pastors Here’s the shepherd-heart of God revealed: Isaiah 40:11,29 . . . He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. . . . He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. How, then, does the divine Shepherd feel when pastors do not tenderly and selflessly tend their flocks or do not seek to refresh and empower them? To understand, I should first state a basic truth that not everyone finds obvious and the rest of us might sometimes be tempted to let slip from our focus: Don’t for a moment imagine that because God allows people to do atrocious things in his church or elsewhere, that he is not enraged by it. The God who is love and goodness personified cares so passionately about the spiritual welfare of his children that, as James was divinely moved to warn, to assume the role of instructing other Christians is to expose oneself to harsher judgment from God (James 3:1). We are all liable to slip up and, as serious as it is to stray, to take anyone with us renders us even more culpable. Hebrews 10:30-31 For we know him who said, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” and again, “The Lord will judge his people.” It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. Even when the Almighty furiously disapproves of our actions, God mercifully gives us much leeway so that we might come to our senses and start proving ourselves faithful before it is too late: Romans 2:3-4 . . . do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance? 2 Peter 3:3-10 . . . in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. They will say, “Where is this ‘coming’ he promised? Ever since our fathers died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation.” But they deliberately forget that long ago . . . the world of that time was deluged and destroyed. By the same word the present heavens and earth are . . . being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of ungodly men. But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord . . . a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. . . . The divine dilemma is that graciously giving us desperately-needed time to repent and accumulate our eternal reward is giving some of us extra time to break God’s heart even more by hurting his loved ones. In parable after parable, Jesus told us it is as though God had gone away and left us to our own devises. As the parables unfold it becomes evident that, despite appearances, the Lord remains so vitally concerned that when we least expect it he will return and richly reward or terrifyingly punish us according to how we have used our God-given opportunities to prove faithful. In the meantime, however, we are by no means left alone. Whether we feel it or not, our Lord continually gives us his sweet presence, divine encouragement, inspiration and wisdom. He empowers us, guides us and teaches us. But he is like a coach who believes in us; taking us through intensive training sessions so that we can become champions. Sadly, not everyone makes the most of these priceless opportunities: Matthew 24:45-51 Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time? It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so when he returns. I tell you the truth, he will put him in charge of all his possessions. But suppose that servant is wicked and says to himself, ‘My master is staying away a long time,’ and he then begins to beat his fellow servants and to eat and drink with drunkards. The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the hypocrites, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. With this truth firmly established, let’s return to the critical question: how does God feel about spiritual leaders who fail to display the holy, tender heart of God toward those they influence? What will become of pastors who are not Christlike; leaders who fail to live up to the following standards of sensitive care? Isaiah 42:3 A bruised reed [something of no apparent use] he will not break, and a smoldering wick [not only apparently useless but a source of irritation] he will not snuff out. Isaiah 61:1-3 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me . . . to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve . . . Psalms 103:14 for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. Psalms 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Jeremiah 30:17 ‘But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD, ‘because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.’ Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. John 10:11-12 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Titus 1:7 Since an overseer is entrusted with God’s work, he must be blameless – not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. 1 Peter 5:2-3 Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers – not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. (Comments mine.) To answer, I cannot do better than bring to your attention what God said through Ezekiel: Ezekiel 34:2-31 . . . ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Woe to the shepherds of Israel who only take care of themselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? You eat the curds [from the sheep’s milk] , clothe yourselves with the [sheep’s] wool and slaughter the choice animals [to eat] , but you do not take care of the flock. You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. So they were scattered because there was no shepherd [no one who selflessly and gently tended the flock as a shepherd should], and when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals. My sheep wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. They were scattered over the whole earth, and no one searched or looked for them. . . . As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, because my flock lacks a [good] shepherd and so has been plundered and has become food for all the wild animals, and because my shepherds did not search for my flock but cared for themselves rather than for my flock, therefore . . . I am against the shepherds and will hold them accountable for my flock. I will remove them from tending the flock so that the shepherds can no longer feed themselves. I will rescue my flock from their mouths, and it will no longer be food for them. . . . I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness. I will bring them out from the nations and . . . bring them into their own land. . . . There they will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign LORD. I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice. As for you, my flock, this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I will judge between one sheep and another, and between rams and goats. Is it not enough for you to feed on the good pasture? Must you also trample the rest of your pasture with your feet? Is it not enough for you to drink clear water? Must you also muddy the rest with your feet? Must my flock feed on what you have trampled and drink what you have muddied with your feet? Therefore . . . I myself will judge between the fat sheep and the lean sheep. Because you shove with flank and shoulder, butting all the weak sheep with your horns until you have driven them away, I will save my flock, and they will no longer be plundered. I will judge between one sheep and another. I will place over them one shepherd, my servant David [Jesus, the Messianic descendent of David] , and he will tend them; he will tend them and be their shepherd. I the LORD will be their God, and my servant [the prophesied descendent of] David will be prince among them. I the LORD have spoken. I will make a covenant of peace with them and rid the land of wild beasts so that they may live in the desert and sleep in the forests in safety. I will bless them and the places surrounding my hill. I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing. The trees of the field will yield their fruit and the ground will yield its crops; the people will be secure in their land. They will know that I am the LORD, when I break the bars of their yoke and rescue them from the hands of those who enslaved them. They will no longer be plundered by the nations, nor will wild animals devour them. They will live in safety, and no one will make them afraid. I will provide for them a land renowned for its crops, and they will no longer be victims of famine in the land or bear the scorn of the nations. Then they will know that I, the LORD their God, am with them and that they, the house of Israel, are my people, declares the Sovereign LORD. You my sheep, the sheep of my pasture, are people, and I am your God, declares the Sovereign LORD. (Comments mine.) There will be a day of reckoning; when everything is put right; a day when integrity and purity will be restored; when the exquisite beauty of God’s ways is manifest in all its perfection. That will be the day when love and justice finally meet; a day of extravagantly generous and terrifying rewards, when the exalted will be brought down and the downtrodden exalted; when those who have been self-seeking will be exposed and selfless Christ-seekers will be forever extolled as heroes. Until everything is put right, life can be tough, but it is our chance to win for ourselves eternal glory by being Christlike; blessing those who curse us and praying for those who hurt us; heroically persisting in the face of adversity; following in the steps of the Lord of lords who suffered unspeakably at the hands of supposedly God-loving, Bible-believing spiritual leaders. This is the path to glory. Let me close with quotes from other writings of mine. They refer to trials in general but when our trial is spiritual abuse from revered leaders, it has a special affinity to what our Lord endured: Consider Scott and his team, who struggled to the South Pole only to discover their honor of being the first to reach the Pole was lost forever. Amundsen had beaten them by about a month. To add to the futility, they endured further blizzards, illness, frostbite and starvation only to perish; the last three dying just a few miles from safety. Yet today their miserable defeat ending with death in frozen isolation, witnessed by not a living soul, is hailed as one of the greatest ever epics of human exploration and endurance. Every fiber of my being is convinced that their glory is just a shadow of what you can achieve. Though you suffer in isolation and apparent futility, with the depths of your trial known to no one on earth, your name could be blazed in heaven’s lights, honored forever by heaven’s throngs for your epic struggle with illness, bereavement, or whatever. The day is coming when what is endured in secret will be shouted from the housetops. Look at Job: bewildered, maligned, misunderstood; battling not some epic foe but essentially common things – a financial reversal, bereavement, illness – not cheered on by screaming fans, just booed by some one-time friends. If even on this crazy planet Job is honored today, I can’t imagine the acclaim awaiting you when all is revealed. Your battle with life’s miseries can be as daring as David’s encounter with Goliath. Don’t worry that others don’t understand this at present. One day they will. And that day will never end. Although we will have many thrilling things to do in heaven, we’ll be rather like former football champions who have retired and gone into sports administration. Life will be easier. There will be no more injuries, no more tedious, grueling training sessions, no more agonizing over mistakes made on the field, but the opportunity to gain more glory and become a greater hero will have forever passed. So life is exciting. And the greatest thrills it offers are the pain and dangers and challenges. Forget about a soft life. Leave that to your heavenly retirement. Now’s your time for glory. You’re a champion in the making; someone increasingly bearing the likeness of God himself; someone the Almighty will forever smile upon with Fatherly pride. If you have suffered at the hands of spiritual leaders who did not treat you with the integrity, gentleness and/or respect worthy of a child of the King, God’s heart breaks for you. You deserve much comfort, encouragement and healing. For help, I urge you to read What is Spiritual Abuse? Spiritual Abusers Identified.

Spiritual Warfare   Turning Spiritual Attack into Victory     Humanists imagine they have suddenly become incredibly smart, being able to discern physical and psychological reasons for phenomena. They have actually become incredibly thick, being able to see nothing but the blatantly obvious. The Apostle Paul’s words stick with appalling accuracy: ‘Professing to be wise, they became fools’ (Romans 1:22). Don’t catch their blindness.   The presence of obvious physical reasons for our problems does not reduce the likelihood that they are shots fired from the spirit world. Paul faced enough natural dangers to seize anyone’s attention – wild seas, infected wounds, bandits – yet he focused on spiritual battle.   Though he regularly bled at the hands of human opponents, Paul insisted that our fight is not with people but with spiritual powers (Ephesians 6:12). His gospel threatened the livelihood, pride and traditions of thousands. Wherever he looked, human reasons for his struggle glared at him. Yet he saw the human component of his conflict as inconsequential. Either the apostle was a fruit loop or we clash with the non-physical realm more than most of us suppose.     Spiritual Parasites   Demons are spiritual parasites that want to attach themselves to us and suck spiritual life from us. Left to their own vices, they will weaken us and make life needlessly unpleasant. They are the spiritual equivalent of physical parasites, such as tapeworm or hookworm.   It is not just non-Christians who need to be wary of parasitic worms. It is quite possible to have them for years without realizing what it is that is keeping us that bit below optimum health.   A person cannot be said to be ‘possessed’ by parasites. He has full control, except for a tiny aspect of his life, and even in that he retains partial control. A person with worms can do almost anything without parasitic interference. Only in the area of nutrition has he lost a degree of control. He can decide what he eats and when he eats but until the worms are banished he cannot prevent them from robbing him of some of his nutrition.   Demons of lust might, for instance, harass a Christian with unusually intense and prolonged temptation. This could be most distressing, and the person might voluntarily surrender to the temptation; perhaps, for example, under the illusion that resistance is useless. In reality, however, God has promised that no temptation will be too strong for a Christian. So a demon could flood a person with horrific temptation but it could never compel a Christian to sin.   Not so many years ago, I felt sexually assaulted by every sensually dressed woman I saw. I wasn’t particularly defeated by it but it was a continual, wearying battle. There is sure to have been a natural element to this. It is God’s intention that women flout their bodies solely within the confines of holy matrimony. If only more Christian women would let God remove carnality from their lives! Nevertheless, I wondered if in addition to the natural, there might also be a demonic element to what I suffered. So I made an appointment with someone experienced in the deliverance ministry. To this day, I’m uncertain whether, in my particular case, that was the reason why things have improved. It might have helped. I don’t know for sure. I have the satisfaction, however, of knowing that I was not so foolish as to let pride or embarrassment keep me refusing a potential source of help.   Parasitic worms are so repulsive that we naturally recoil from the thought of having them. The worse thing we can do, however, is to live in denial, because if we do, they will continue to afflict us. Someone with parasites has foreign invaders in his life that have no right to be there. The only smart reaction is to face the possibility head-on, with a view to eradicating anything that could be afflicting us.   Prayer is not Enough   Satanic opposition hampered Daniel’s ministry. He had sought a revelation. Heaven was silent. Though uncertain about what was happening, Daniel fought on in prayer and fasting, day after day. Heaven’s reply had been dispatched on angel’s wings, but evil powers blockaded it. When the celestial courier finally arrived, he revealed he had been engaged in heaven’s answer to Star Wars (Daniel 10:12-13). Spiritual powers had been locked in supernatural combat. For twenty-one earth-days the battle raged. Perhaps the weapons used defy our comprehension, but I believe a deciding factor was something we know a little about – the impassioned prayers of a man who longed to serve God. With the resolve of a marathon winner, Daniel prayed on and on and on. Had he accepted the hold-up as heaven’s final answer, the enemy might have successfully intercepted the prophetic message.   With Satan lusting after us like a crazed beast, we either pray or are preyed upon.   And yet we often need more than prayer.   Foot-sloggers are no match for the prince of the power of the air. If we neglect prayer, dark forces will forever sabotage our labors; our attempts to attack their kingdom will never get off the ground. Join the prayer force. A defiant fist amuses Satan. An uplifted hand terrifies him. Prayer will shoot him down.   Prayer is fearsome ammunition. Without a canon, however, even the deadliest ammunition cannot pound the enemy. For faith-packed prayer to reach its full ferocity it must be used in conjunction with two other aspects of spiritual warfare. One aspect – legality – is automatic for the born again warrior. It is the other – authoritative aggression – where many of us falter. Add this to prayer and you have an arsenal against which the combined forces of hell are reduced to a cringing rabble of terrified wimps.   If undesirables have moved into our house, it is insufficient to establish that their action is unlawful. Nor is it enough to complete an assertiveness training course. Confirming our legal standing and strengthening our resolve to enforce our rights are both vital steps, but it is futile to stop here. We must actually evict the squatters.   Our spiritual union establishes the illegality of Satan’s move against us. Without this, as the sons of Sceva discovered, good intentions and pious or aggressive ranting achieve nothing (Acts 19:13-17).   In addition, we need prayer to build us up, empowering us for spiritual confrontation. We often so focus on Paul’s itemization of the armor in his classic on spiritual combat that we forget it culminates in ‘praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit’ (Ephesians 6:18). The disciples, bewildered by their inability to expel a demon, needed Jesus’ revelation that there is no alternative to prayer (Mark 9:17-18,28-29). No matter how intimately they knew Jesus, prayerlessness still meant powerlessness.   Yet with our union with Christ resolving the legal issue and prayer girding us with divine strength, insidious trespassers will continue until we enforce our blood-bought rights. Jesus, ‘who went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed of the devil,’ (Acts 10:38) not only spent entire nights in prayer, he authoritatively confronted anti-God forces. Time and again he rebuked opponents to God’s will, be they fevers, storms, demons or whatever. We must follow his lead.   The Bible opens by affirming that God created humanity to rule. From the onset, the Lord of hosts delegated authority to man and woman (Genesis 1:26-28). Humanity lost much when it lost its innocence, but with the breaking of sin’s curse by the shed blood of the innocent Son of God, we are again expected to rule, acting like Jesus in ousting evil hordes.   If you were granted police powers, would you tolerate a law breaker vandalizing a sacred place, or assaulting someone, or molesting a child? Well aren’t you the Spirit’s holy sanctuary, part of Christ’s body and God’s own child? Is it proper for you to passively endure an evil assault upon your person? Shouldn’t you be incensed that cowering low-life, whose defeat cost the very life of the Son of God, would have the audacity to trespass onto God’s turf, insult a work of God and violate a part of Christ’s very body? When opposed by vile spirits, rise with indignation and enforce your Christ-won authority by ousting those frauds.   When buffeted by malicious powers we are likely to feel as green and as limp as wilted spinach. We must understand that authority has nothing to do with how vibrant we feel. A police officer has as much authority when he is tired as when he is fresh. A bed-ridden king has more authority than a nobleman in the prime of manhood. The issue is not how strong we feel, but whether we are bound to the One granted all authority in heaven and earth.   The showdown   It was a duel between spiritual super-powers: the false gods of Egypt versus the one true God. At Moses’ command, Aaron throws down a rod. The stick becomes a writhing snake. What a victory – the raw power of God spectacularly displayed in the very court of Pharaoh. Face it, Pharaoh, you’ve backed a loser! Heathen sorcerers step forward. They drop their rods and each squirms to life. Before Pharaoh’s eyes is Moses’ solitary snake, hopelessly outnumbered by the magicians’ slithering brood (Exodus 7:9-12).   A homeward-bound Levite needed to lodge for the night. Though a pagan place was more convenient, he chose the security of an Israelite town. Here he’d sleep peacefully, surrounded by God’s people. But to his horror, he discovered these people, despite having known God’s blessing and his laws, were more depraved than the heathen. Given half a chance, they would have raped him. They abused his concubine all night. She was dead by morning. An Israelite town had slumped to the putrid decadence of Sodom and Gomorrah.   Outraged, the Levite summoned the whole of Israel. God’s law was explicit: those murderous perverts must die. But their tribe refused to hand them over. The entire tribe was so committed to wickedness that the Benjamites resolved to fight, if necessary to death, against the united armies of the whole nation, rather than allow the execution of God’s law.   Greatly disturbed, the faithful sought God. It would have been tempting to by-pass this step. They were obviously in the right and the odds were heavily in their favor. Though the Benjamites had a few skilled fighters, they were their brethren, not some super-race, and Israel outnumbered them, 400,000 to less than 27,000. But they did the right thing. They consulted God, and he so approved that he gave them his strategy. On their side were natural superiority, righteousness, divine approval, and the wisdom and infinite might of the Lord of hosts. In obedience to their Lord, they marshaled their forces, high in faith and in the power of God.   And they were slaughtered. In one day 22,000 of them were slain.   They wept. They prayed. They sought the Lord again. Empowered by a fresh word from God, they mobilized for the second day. And 18,000 more of them were massacred (Judges chapters 19-20).   The mighty Son of God came to earth. This was the climax of a divine plan conceived before the earth was formed, and for millennia intricately woven into the fabric of human history. It was the showdown: creature versus Creator, dust versus divinity, filth versus purity, mortality versus immortality.   And Jesus died.   In Pharaoh’s court, occult powers miraculously produce many times more vipers than God. In the time of the judges, God’s forces are routed by an army of inferior strength. At Calvary, God’s Son is dead.   How I thank God for the Bible! Few other Christian books tell it as it really is: you can be flowing in the power of God, following his instructions to the letter in absolute purity and be routed by Satan’s puny forces.   But only for a season.   Moses’ rod swallowed up the sorcerers’ rods. On the third day, Israel crushed the Benjamites. Jesus, on the third day, swallowed up death, having crushed the devil.

Exposing the Full Truth about God God is warm. He is so tender, indescribably loving and lovable. Made perfect in the sight of the fearsomely Holy One by being enveloped in Jesus’ spotless purity, we can spiritually get so mind-bogglingly close to Almighty God that we can snuggle into his very heart, reveling in his goodness in rapturous peace and contentment. In links below I have devoted thousands of words to developing this thrilling theme. To embrace the full, glorious truth about our magnificent Lord, however, we must not permit the intimacy we can enjoy with the most loving Person in the universe to lull us into letting his indescribable superiority shrink in our estimation. To exploit his love is more foolhardy than tampering with a nuclear warhead. A billion nuclear explosions are a gentle sigh relative to the fury of his righteous anger. The God of everything that will ever exist is so vast and mind-blowingly complex that it is beyond our capacity to embrace the full truth about God. Every time we grow a little in our understanding of one aspect of his nature, it seems to push from our minds other, equally significant, aspects of his nature. It is like a need to carry in our arms a thousand loose tennis balls at the one time. So I worry that in our minds the truth mentioned in this webpage could displace the truths we desperately need to cling to of God’s love, forgiveness and patience. The Lord and Judge of all is so patient, forgiving and tolerant of evil that we get impatient with him when we see the evil in this world that he patiently endures. But God’s goodness demands that there be an end to his tolerance. He cannot be good and not blaze with fury when people he loves do things that hurt other people he loves. He can be patient for a long while, but he cannot be good and forever leave evil unpunished. Here’s a prayer that I suggest you read to God before plunging into this page. Father, I long to know you in all your wonder, beauty, perfection, goodness, gentleness, power, love, patience, holiness . . . O, Lord! You are so magnificent that I can’t imagine even adequately completing this list, much less exploring the depths of each item. Please vastly increase my capacity to know you. Protect me from a seriously distorted view of you that would hinder me from reaching the enormous spiritual potential you have seeded within me through Christ. Cause me to make it my ever-increasing, lifetime quest to keep falling both more in love with you and more in awe of you than I could ever imagine. “David was afraid of the LORD that day” ( 2 Samuel 6:9 ) . What day? When the ark of God was in danger of falling and Uzzah touched the ark to steady it. “ The LORD’s anger burned against Uzzah because of his irreverent act; therefore God struck him down and he died there beside the ark of God” ( 2 Samuel 6:7 ). “ . . . and all the people greatly feared the LORD . . .” ( 1 Samuel 12:18 ) . When? When, to show his displeasure about the Israelites wanting a king like other nations, the Lord sent a thunderstorm that destroyed their harvest. This was more than a demonstration of power; it was a devastating blow to their livelihood. A couple more such instances and they would be facing not just a severe economic downturn but starvation. After an encounter with God: Numbers 17:12-13 The Israelites said to Moses, “We will die! We are lost, we are all lost! Anyone who even comes near the tabernacle of the LORD will die. Are we all going to die?” It is commonly thought that to fear God means to respect him. This is correct but what often escapes us is that it means to respect God like someone operating a circular saw respects the whirling blade. A skilled workman who loves his job is not nervous when using his saw. Nevertheless, he knows that if at any moment he fails to act wisely, the consequences can be devastating. You might recall reading of the terror of many Old Testament people when they had a supernatural close encounter. Often angels had to reassure those they were appearing to by telling them not to fear. Most likely there was a certain fearsome quality about the very appearances, even though it was no doubt toned down so that humans could bear it. (This is probably a major reason why angels often appear in human form.) However, it seems the primary reason for these people’s terror was that they believed it was impossible to see God and live: Judges 13:22 “We are doomed to die!” he said to his wife. “We have seen God!” We might be tempted to dismiss this as superstition, but even the great prophet Isaiah reacted that way: Isaiah 6:5 “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.” Even to Moses, who saw God’s “back,” the Lord said: Exodus 33:20 . . . “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.” So when we read, “The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend,” ( Exodus 33:11 ) it is clearly a figure of speech referring to intimacy and openness, and was never intended to be understood that he saw God’s actual face. Moses reminded the Israelites of their reaction at Mount Sinai (Horeb) when they heard the audible voice of God: Deuteronomy 5:24-29 And you said, “The LORD our God has shown us his glory and his majesty, and we have heard his voice from the fire. Today we have seen that a man can live even if God speaks with him. But now, why should we die? This great fire will consume us, and we will die if we hear the voice of the LORD our God any longer. For what mortal man has ever heard the voice of the living God speaking out of fire, as we have, and survived? Go near and listen to all that the LORD our God says. Then tell us whatever the LORD our God tells you. We will listen and obey.” The LORD heard you when you spoke to me and the LORD said to me, “I have heard what this people said to you. Everything they said was good. Oh, that their hearts would be inclined to fear me and keep all my commands always, so that it might go well with them and their children forever! (Emphasis mine) Later, Moses again referred to this event and cited it as the reason for the Lord providing prophets. Moreover, Jesus – the Son of God become man – is the ultimate fulfillment of the Almighty speaking through human flesh because of our inability to have direct contact with the full glory of God (Acts 3:20-26; 7:37). Deuteronomy 18:15-19 The LORD your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among your own brothers. You must listen to him. For this is what you asked of the LORD your God at Horeb on the day of the assembly when you said, “Let us not hear the voice of the LORD our God nor see this great fire anymore, or we will die.” The LORD said to me: “What they say is good. I will raise up for them a prophet like you from among their brothers; I will put my words in his mouth, and he will tell them everything I command him. If anyone does not listen to my words that the prophet speaks in my name, I myself will call him to account. The devastating power of God’s presence is such that not even the New Covenant can change this fact of life: 1 Timothy 6:16 . . . who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. . . . John 1:18 No one has ever seen God . . . This truth is repeated in the First Letter of John: 1 John 4:12 No one has ever seen God . . . The most overwhelming divine encounter is like a split second glimpse through welder’s goggles at the sun from planet earth, 93 million miles away. The Almighty is more astounding than our imaginations can cope with. Just as no one could walk on the sun and live, so – at least this side of eternity – no one could survive seeing God. What seems like a harmless pinprick in the night sky is actually a mighty sun many times more powerful than our own sun. What makes it seem harmless is the enormous distance between it and us. Likewise, if you have little fear of the Lord, it is proof of your distance from him. As I have said elsewhere: Ideally, we should be so in love with God that fear doesn’t factor because God’s happiness means so much to us that we would rather die than sadden him. If we truly loved, to know we had disappointed the Lord would devastate us so much that something terrifying could not make us feel any worse. Nevertheless, there is genuine reason for fear. If few of us have this fear of sinning against God, it is not because we live in the age of grace, but because we barely know the God of the New Testament; the God who in Acts struck Ananias and Sapphira dead, killed Herod for his pride, and blinded Elymas for opposing Paul; the God of the Corinthian believers who were afflicted, or even killed, for the flippant way they treated holy communion; the God into whose hands, warns Hebrews, it’s a fearful thing to fall; the God whom Jesus said is the one Person in the universe to fear because he alone can destroy body and soul in hell. The Judge of all the earth is our Father. Do we see this as an opportunity to be lax or do we see the implications of the Judge being our father the same way Scripture does? 1 Peter 1:17 Since you call on a Father who judges each man’s work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear. Translators, as they wrestled with the hard to explain concept, added the word “reverent” to the original text of the above verse. They chose the expression “reverent fear” to differentiate between the way God’s obedient children fear God and the way we would fear a monster. Nevertheless, Scripture emphasizes that if we disobey, there is genuine reason for fear, and that’s why the translators knew they would not be completely true to the text if they merely said “reverence” and omitted all reference to fear. Rarely do we view disobeying the Almighty Lord with the seriousness that God does. It is said a pirate killed a man. He was so horrified by his sin that it ruined his sleep for days. Yet he kept killing. He reached the point where he could murder someone and sleep like a baby, using the corpse as a pillow. We, too, having been surrounded by sin all our lives, have a conscience that in many areas has become disturbingly dull, and we must fight Satan’s attempt to keep us that way. The apostle Paul pleaded with us to behold both the kindness and the severity of God (Romans 11:22). Let’s keep praying for the grace to keep both truths in focus so that we might fall deeper and deeper in awe and in love with the most astounding and beautiful Person in the universe, whom to know is life eternal. Vital Links God Loves Everyone: The Terrifying Implications Why God’s Anger is Comforting Does God Love Me? God’s Love Revealed to You Coping with Guilt Feelings Life’s Mysteries Explained Encouragement when Feeling Defeated by Sin

The Wrath of God Shows his Love? God gets angry. Terrifyingly angry. And it makes him so lovable. Correctly understood, God’s wrath gives us all immense dignity, and so much more. It takes little Bible-reading to know that the forgiving Lord can rage with superhuman fury. The wrath of God and his forgiveness are not only compatible, they are fueled by the same power – his astounding love and goodness. To grasp this, we must first grapple with the morality of anger. Exodus 11:4, 8 Moses said, “This is what the Lord says: . . .” He [Moses] went out from Pharaoh in hot anger. Numbers 12:3 Now the man Moses was very humble, more than all the men who were on the surface of the earth. Jeremiah 6:11 Therefore I am full of The Lord’s wrath. I am weary with holding in. . . . Ezekiel 3:14 So the Spirit lifted me up . . . and I went . . . in the heat of my spirit; and the Lord’s hand was strong on me. Mark 3:5 When he [Jesus] had looked around at them with anger, being grieved at the hardening of their hearts . . . Mark 10:14 But when Jesus saw it, he was moved with indignation . . . Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry, and don’t sin.” [quoting Psalm 4:4] Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath. Revelation 6:16  . . . the wrath of the Lamb. These Scriptures startle us, especially if taught as children an oversimplified moral code. We might expect the Bible to say all anger is sin, but not only does it not say that, such an oversimplification causes us to puzzle or even take offense when the Bible records the sinless Son of God getting angry and the Father himself exploding in anger. Let’s briefly drill down into this mystery. There is a link between eating and overindulgence, but not all eating is sin. Likewise, there is a link between anger and sin, but not all anger is sin. Just as it is not a sin for two teenagers to be madly in love, but it could easily lead to sexual sin, so anger is not sin, but it could easily lead to sin. Strong passions in weak people are so morally dangerous that they are often best avoided. This does not mean the passions themselves are wrong but, like alcoholic intoxication, they can lower self-control and make it harder for the average person to avoid sin. Sex is easily defiled into selfishness or lust or rape, and yet it has the potential to be a beautiful expression of love. Likewise, anger could be a manifestation of selfishness, hypocrisy or a bitter, unforgiving spirit. But despite being so easily defiled, anger could be a manifestation of love. Tragically, we humans are so corrupt that most of us have little conception of love, let alone righteous anger. Selfish love is as impossible as hateful love and yet when couples say they are in love, they are usually referring not to love but to selfishness. They mean they are excited about how much they think the person could give them, not how much they long to lay down their lives for that person. Anger fired by selfishness is hideously different to anger fired by selflessness (genuine love) and nurtured by self-control. So how could anger be beautiful? We would rightly be devastated if, when we do wrong, God’s response were, “It’s okay. I realize humans are too pathetic to do anything right.” God getting angry at us when we sin says something powerful about our potential and moral capacity. God’s wrath affirms that our all-knowing Creator believes in us. He sees us as capable of resisting horrific temptation and achieving immense good. I would be equally crushed if whenever I sin God says, “No problem. You’re just my puppet and plaything. Nothing you do makes the slightest difference to me or my plans. I keep overriding everything you do anyhow.” God’s wrath gives us dignity. It proves that the One who lacks nothing has lovingly graced us with enormous power. The Giver of all things has exalted us to such dizzy heights that our actions are not only of eternal significance; they deeply affect the Almighty himself. This makes my heart leap. It instils our lives with stupendous meaning. God’s Selflessness Stare into the night sky. Are the stars shaken from the heavens when you sin? Regardless of how good or bad or significant our puny actions might seem to us, how can they touch the Omnipotent Lord? [Inspired by Job 35:5-8] Except for the enormity of God’s love for us, we can affect the Creator of galaxies infinitely less than a flea could bother a hurtling freight train. Only love could make our actions of such supreme importance to the Almighty that they stir his emotions. Suppose you own two cars. One is a heap of junk you care little for. The other is your pride and joy that has not only cost you greatly but to you is irreplaceable. Someone breaks the news that one of your cars has been vandalized. Wouldn’t you be on tenterhooks, anxious to know what car it is? Wouldn’t your anger over that act of vandalism differ markedly, depending on which car was damaged? One’s anger is proportional to how much one values the damaged object. Our sins inevitably end up damaging ourselves and almost always hurt other people as well. God’s wrath proves how dearly he prizes us and how deeply moved he is when any of us are in any way hurt. The Divine Risk-Taker There is no doubt about it: God has the right and ability to eliminate risk and be the ultimate control freak. If we had divine powers we would be sorely tempted to use them for our own advancement and self-protection. But let’s not trip ourselves up on blind presumptions as to how God uses or abuses his power. It would be tragic to fall into the hole of mistakenly supposing we are glorifying God by assuming he indulges himself in the same self-serving way that we might if we had his supernatural powers. The All-powerful One is not some inflated version of ourselves. Just as Jesus’ glory was in surrendering all his rights and riches and powers of self-protection in order to become the Final Solution to human sin, so God’s greatest glory is in him surrendering his right to be a control freak. The infinite Lord is incomprehensively beyond us, not just in raw power, but in self-crushing humility and the extremity of sacrificial love. The true God is the Almighty Lord who has everything and yet gave it all up to be treated not just as the lowest of the low but to be tortured to death to save his enemies so that he might exalt them from being the scum of the universe to sharing his holy throne. The real God passionately paid to the last excruciating torment the highest conceivable personal cost to empower those who opposed him so that they could rule the galaxies with him in celestial splendor. Yes, if anyone has the power to avoid disappointment and getting hurt, and if anyone has the right to be an arrogant despot, it is the exalted Lord. But God is so driven by supernatural love that he not only posseses infinite reserves of pure love; he is so driven by love that he is love. And this mind-shattering fact disintegrates every guess as to how God in his divine omnipotence might act. To love is to truly live, but the stakes are enormous. As Richard Bach observed, “If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it’s yours, if it doesn’t, it never was.” At the heart of love is courageously releasing your iron grip of control over the one you love. Because God is perfect, it is blissfully safe to love him. He’ll never slip up. He’ll never let you down or die or change. To love a human, however, is one of the riskiest things in the universe. It is, as it were, putting all your eggs in the one basket. It is relinquishing white-knuckled control over what touches your heart and daring to knowingly give some fallible, changeable being the power to do to you anything he or she chooses, from thrilling you to emotionally tormenting you. Unlike us, God is not emotionally repressed. He has no hang-ups hindering him from feeling with full intensity. Even those of us not too afraid to love, let ourselves love a bit but still hold back somewhat, being consciously or unconsciously haunted by a fear of rejection or being let down by the ones we love. The Almighty caves in to no such inhibitions. Just as we hold ourselves back from plunging unreservedly into love, so fear keeps us from letting ourselves fully feel other emotions, including anger. We fear getting hurt or being so overwhelmed by emotion that we end up hurting others or in some other way acting unwisely. God’s goodness and self-mastery renders it safe for him to feel with supernatural intensity, and a selfless God does not spare himself the pain that extreme feelings might bring him. So both because of God’s enormous capacity and because he does not flinch from exposing himself to emotional torment, he feels more than any of us, and his anger is one indicator of the depth of his passion. A selfish omnipotent God would always get his way. He would ensure nothing happens that even slightly disappoints him, let alone infuriates him. A loving omnipotent God, however, plots a very different course. A selfish weak God might get angry because of his own limitations, but only love could drive an all-powerful God to anger. An historian, Lord Acton, made this famous observation of fallen humanity: “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” God’s anger proves he does not let power corrupt him into becoming a control freak. If he were a self-serving autocrat, nothing would upset him; he would strip everyone of dignity by manipulating everyone into always doing his bidding. Reduce people to puppets and they will never disappoint you, nor do anything praiseworthy. The honor for their every achievement would be yours alone. That’s the obvious choice for a power-crazed egomaniac. Dignify and empower people, however, and you hand them the ability to break your heart and also to achieve things for which they – not just you alone – deserve praise. By dignifying humans with the power of choice, there is a very real sense is which they become little gods (John 10:34-35), capable of genuine love (rather than some dismal robotic counterfeit) and of making praiseworthy decisions. This is the risky path the true God – not a despotic, self-protecting manipulator but the God of love – has chosen. Divine Jealousy Let’s look to the Bible to help us understand passionate love and the jealousy it arouses: Song of Solomon 8:6  . . . love is strong as death. Jealousy is as cruel as Sheol. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a very flame of the Lord. Proverbs 6:30-35 Men don’t despise a thief, if he steals to satisfy himself when he is hungry: but if he is found, he shall restore seven times. He shall give all the wealth of his house. He who commits adultery with a woman is void of understanding. . . . His reproach will not be wiped away. For jealousy arouses the fury of the husband. He won’t spare in the day of vengeance. He won’t regard any ransom, neither will he rest content, though you give many gifts. Proverbs 27:4 Wrath is cruel, and anger is overwhelming; but who is able to stand before jealousy? One of the things the above crystallizes for us is that no matter how furious a man might be over having $1,000 stolen from him, his anger will fade if the thief gives him back seven times more than he took. When love is violated, however, not even a trillion dollars is adequate compensation. There is nothing in the universe the offender can do to diminish the anger of the aggrieved partner. We see this displayed in God’s heart in such Scriptures as this: Zephaniah 1:18 Neither their silver nor their gold will be able to deliver them in the day of the Lord’s wrath, but the whole land will be devoured by the fire of his jealousy; for he will make an end . . . It is highly flattering to have a lover who is so passionate about you as to be jealous. No one wants a lover who is insanely (irrationally) jealous. You would not want someone who does not trust you, for example. But neither would you want your lover to not care enough to feel hurt if you were unfaithful. Divine jealousy means it is dangerous to get on the wrong side of your Lover: Joshua 24:19-20 Joshua said to the people, “You can’t serve the Lord, for he is a holy God. He is a jealous God. He will not forgive your disobedience nor your sins. If you forsake the Lord, and serve foreign gods, then he will turn and do you evil, and consume you, after he has done you good.” But divine jealousy also means God will defend you against anyone who would dare hurt you. Joel 2:18-20 Then the Lord was jealous for his land, And had pity on his people. The Lord answered his people, “Behold, I will send you grain, new wine, and oil, and you will be satisfied with them . . . I will remove the northern army far away from you . . .” Ezekiel 36:6-11  . . . Thus says the Lord: Behold, I have spoken in my jealousy and in my wrath, because you have borne the shame of the nations: therefore thus says the Lord: I have sworn, Surely the nations that are around you, they shall bear their shame. But you, mountains of Israel, you shall shoot out your branches, and yield your fruit to my people Israel; for they are at hand to come. For, behold, I am for you, and I will turn into you, and you shall be tilled and sown; and I will multiply men on you, all the house of Israel, even all of it; and the cities shall be inhabited, and the waste places shall be built; and I will multiply on you man and animal; and they shall increase and be fruitful; and I will cause you to be inhabited after your former estate, and you will do better than at your beginnings: and you shall know that I am the Lord. God & Emotions In their purest form, emotions are beautiful and highly desirable. They are among the stellar features distinguishing us as more lovable and sophisticated than intelligent machines. Since God is in everyway superior to us, he exceeds us in warmth, passion and other emotions. On the other hand, out-of-control emotions are ugly and hypocritical anger is despicable. You’ll never find that in a perfect God. Emotions that fail to stand up to rational and moral scrutiny are a source of shame. Most human anger fails so miserably in this area that we can barely conceive of anger in its divine perfection. God is not emotional in the sense of being so overwhelmed by emotions that his feelings are ever allowed to tear down the constraints of wisdom and compassion. He is always wise and compassionate; always selfless and fair; always slow to anger and quick to forgive. Psalms 85:2-3 You have forgiven the iniquity of your people. You have covered all their sin. You have taken away all your wrath. You have turned from the fierceness of your anger. Jonah 4:2  . . . I knew that you are a gracious God, and merciful, slow to anger, and abundant in loving kindness, and you relent of doing harm. Isaiah 54:8 In overflowing wrath I hid my face from you for a moment; but with everlasting loving kindness I will have mercy on you,” says the Lord your Redeemer. Nevertheless, the Almighty has God-sized emotions that are so intense and perfect that alongside him we are cold, impersonal and uncaring. And the fury of his anger brings this into sharp focus. As the terrifying roar of a jet gives even a blind person some idea of how close and fast the jet is, so descriptions of God’s anger slightly open blind eyes to the heart-thumping magnitude of how precious we are to him and how much he cares for us. 2 Kings 22:17 Because they have forsaken me, and have burned incense to other gods, that they might provoke me to anger with all the work of their hands, therefore my wrath shall be kindled against this place, and it will not be quenched. Psalms 2:5, 12 Then he will speak to them in his anger, and terrify them in his wrath . . . Give sincere homage to the Son, lest he be angry, and you perish on the way, for his wrath will soon be kindled. . . . Psalms 76:7 You, even you, are to be feared. Who can stand in your sight when you are angry? Psalms 78:49 He threw on them the fierceness of his anger, wrath, indignation, and trouble, and a band of angels of evil. Psalms 88:7, 16 Your wrath lies heavily on me. You have afflicted me with all your waves. . . . Your fierce wrath has gone over me. Your terrors have cut me off. Psalms 90:7-9, 11 For we are consumed in your anger. We are troubled in your wrath. You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. For all our days have passed away in your wrath. We bring our years to an end as a sigh. . . . Who knows the power of your anger, your wrath according to the fear that is due to you? Jeremiah 10:10 But the Lord is the true God . . . at his wrath the earth trembles, and the nations are not able to withstand his indignation. Jeremiah 21:5 I myself will fight against you with an outstretched hand and with a strong arm, even in anger, and in wrath, and in great indignation. Of course, the God of the Old Testament is the God of the New and so God’s wrath is repeatedly taught in the New Testament. Conclusion Suppose a father, who thinks the world of his eighteen-year-old son, comes home to find the son molesting his three-year-old niece. We would be appalled if the father were unmoved, saying, “So what? There are plenty more girls where she came from.” And not even the son would want his father to respond in defeat, “It’s tragic, but he’s incapable of anything better.” The only acceptable response is anger – not dangerous, out-of-control anger, of course, nor hypocritical anger, but passionate anger, nonetheless. Moreover, the more the father respects and loves the girl, and the higher his opinion of his son, the smaller the offense required to trigger his love-fuelled anger. Our sin ends up hurting ourselves – and often other people as well. Since God passionately loves us and anyone else hurt by our sin, how could the God of love possibly be unmoved when we sin? Sin rightly infuriates God. If we want to sin, we would prefer God to be some distant, uncaring machine, but the real God is highly personal and always vitally interested in every one of us. God is slow to anger and quick to forgive. Nevertheless, God’s anger tells us much about his love and the moral perfection that fires his passion for justice. The intensity of God’s fury reveals how astoundingly important we are to the Almighty and it gives us immense dignity. Our lives are neither frivolous nor meaningless, but of stupendous significance. Our actions truly matter. And God passionately cares. Our awareness of God is often vague. If to us he ever seems distant or superficial and of only moderate importance, however, the feeling is most certainly not mutual. We must avoid misinterpreting God’s superhuman restraint as indicating that he couldn’t care less. He couldn’t care more. Isaiah 63:9 In all their affliction he was afflicted . . . Psalms 130:3 If you, the Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? Isaiah 30:18 Therefore the Lord will wait, that he may be gracious to you; and therefore he will be exalted, that he may have mercy on you, for the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all those who wait for him. Psalms 78:38 But he, being merciful, forgave iniquity, and didn’t destroy them. Yes, many times he turned his anger away, and didn’t stir up all his wrath. Romans 2:4 Or do you despise the riches of his goodness, forbearance, and patience, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance? 2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow concerning his promise, as some count slowness; but is patient with us, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. If ever a mother has meticulously examined her newborn in awe; if ever a love-crazed teen has stared wide-eyed seeking to drink in the full beauty of the girl who mesmerizes him; and if ever a pop star’s greatest fan gave rapt attention to every note of his song, it pales to nothing compared with God’s love-charged scrutiny of our every fleeting thought and how he gazes enthralled upon every subatomic particle comprising our body. Like a colossal magnifying glass focusing the burning rays of the sun with pinpoint accuracy, all the staggering powers of an omnipotent God are focused on you. That’s what happens when an infinite God falls in love, even though you are seldom aware of it. Careful not to overwhelm you, Almighty God slips into the background, taking on the role of a secret admirer. No matter how little you sense it, however, you are the focus of infinite love. VITAL LINKS God Loves Everyone; The Terrifying Implications How Much Does God Love Me? Divine Vengeance Against Those Who Hurt You The Righteous Lust For Revenge: Truning Hate Into Healing

God Loves Everyone: The Terrifying Implications Spiritual Reality Exposed What they don’t tell you about God Imagine, if you dare, tens of thousands of millions of atomic bombs of Hiroshima proportions, all exploding at once. That’s the energy a single solar flare releases. So vast is the caldron of nuclear fusion we call the sun that over a million earths could fit into it. And yet it is a pinprick relative to some stars. Up to a billion of our suns could fit inside one huge star. Nevertheless, even the largest star shrinks to insignificance when we consider that there are an estimated absolute minimum of 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 stars in a universe so mind-bogglingly enormous that researchers keep wondering if it is endless. Unless you want to fry your brain, I don’t recommend trying to imagine the power of the Creator of all that! Suffice to say, he is someone you would not want to put offside. And if this God loves us, the prospect is terrifying. If God were apathetic and had a strong dose of Alzheimer’s he might have set the universe in motion and lost interest. If so, there might be some hope that we could get away with living life however we please. But if God loves us, it means he is vitally interested in what we do. Counting two a second, 16 hours a day, every day of the year, it would take us over 300 million lifetimes just to count the stars within the bounds of the universe so far discovered. Obviously, the Creator is not fazed by numbers. Nor is he so crude as to be concerned merely with things that are big. Not only is the universe enormous, each atom in it is intricately composed of particles incomprehensibly miniscule. It is theorized that parts of an atom are so infinitesimal that if a single atom – millions of which could fit on a pinhead – were magnified to the size of the entire known universe (yes, the universe), these parts of the atom would be the size of trees. A God able to fashion an atom with such intricacy would have mental powers so incomprehensibly superior to our own that it would be a cinch for him to focus his attention on multiplied trillions of things at once. He could be conscious not just of your every thought but of your every atom, while simultaneously paying equal attention to everything else in the universe. You are uniquely precious to the God who, right down to your fingerprints, made you unique. God is greater than us, not less than us. Everything noble that separates us from animals or machines – depths of love, unselfishness, emotion, intelligence, morality, sense of justice – God has, in mind-bogglingly greater and purer measure. To be devoid of emotion, for example, is to be less than human, not more than human. What the God of perfection would not display, however, would be selfish emotion or passion so out of control as to disregard the demands of morality, justice or rational behavior. Spurn the mild love of an average person and you might not be stalked or even greatly inconvenienced. Find yourself fervently loved by someone with infinite power, however, and you have a problem. A child whose parents care little for him can safely come home from school with a bad report card. It’s a different story for the child who means everything to his parents and, by acting the fool, is ruining his future. God-sized love fuels inconceivably intense emotion. He is explosively displeased if we fritter away God-given opportunities for us to gain eternal glory. The Divine Ache You cannot fervently love someone without aching for that person to love you – especially if you know that person desperately needs you in his/her life. To deeply love someone means you could have everything else in the universe, and yet without that person’s love you would still be heartbroken. To love is to make oneself so vulnerable that even having unlimited power could not help. Omnipotence could easily force someone to obey you. Or it could produce something like a ‘love’ potion, causing a person to be under the illusion of loving you. But genuine love can never be compelled. If attempts to induce it involve force or chemicals or deceit or bribery it is a sham, and can never satisfy your yearning for that person’s love. There are things that not even omnipotence can achieve. It cannot, for example, produce a square circle. It can easily turn a circle into a square, but the instant it has straight sides it is not a circle. Likewise, when someone is forced to act in love, it is not genuine love. Even with unlimited power, there is little anyone could do to induce genuine love in a person, other than be loving and wait for a response. We would be appalled if a man kidnapped a woman and raped and enslaved her because he claims he loves her, wants her as his wife and is convinced he can make her happy. It would be an immoral abuse of power, regardless of whether he used physical force or threats – in which case she would be conscious of the violation of her rights – or if he used drugs or hypnotism so that she is unaware that what is happening is against her will. Real love respects the desires of the beloved, no matter how much it clashes with the lover’s personal longings, and no matter how certain he is that the person would benefit from lifelong intimacy with him. God wants a relationship with us more intimate, more permanent and more exclusive than the most wonderful marriage any human couple could ever experience. When we learn that he wants us to love, honor and obey him, we back off in horror before discovering that in every way we benefit from this closeness and it is God, not us, who gets the raw end. He loves you more than you love yourself and has your best interests at heart even more than you do. He alone has infinite understanding and – as demonstrated by Jesus suffering on the cross for you – he is utterly unselfish and would sacrifice anything for your eternal happiness. To disregard the advice of someone of infinite intelligence who wants only your best, makes as much sense as deliberately injuring yourself. Any time we fail to love, honor and obey the God who is devoted to our welfare, we ruin that part of our lives, relative to what we would otherwise have enjoyed and achieved. Undiluted Love God loves you so intensely that for any other being to even mildly approach such love, you could be the only person in the universe that he loves. We have seen that such love sets off powerful, conflicting emotions – a yearning to possess you and do what is in your best interest, and for you to do your best, and yet a longing to respect your wishes, even when those wishes clash with every good thing he wants for you. The fact that God loves every other human on this planet in no way dilutes his devotion to you, but it adds even more conflict. If God loves everyone, it means anyone you hurt emotionally or physically, or defraud or deceive or slander, is someone whom God is passionately concerned about. Any unkindness on your part would make the Almighty doubly angry. He would be displeased that you messed up your own life by failing to reach your God-given moral potential, plus he would be furious that someone else equally dear to him has been hurt. Regardless of their age, the Lord feels as fiercely protective of all his loved ones as the most loving father would feel toward his ten-year-old virgin daughter. This does not imply God will respond instantly. When someone hurts us we shake our fists at God for not executing justice the instant that person thought of stepping out of line. This is because we are too blinded by arrogant self-righteousness to realize that if everyone guilty of ever hurting anyone were instantly given what he or she deserves, every single one of us would be in eternal anguish right now. In our eyes, sins seem to mysteriously shrink in size when they are our sins. To be righteous, however, the Judge of all humanity must show no favoritism. If the Almighty did not restrain his explosive desire for justice, giving us time to come to our senses and find forgiveness through Jesus, this planet would be devoid of human life. Nevertheless, God’s love for those we hurt fuels a fearsome passion for justice that must be satisfied. Justice can be deferred for a while, but to be deferred forever would be a farce, not justice. Every time we’ve ever thought we’ve gotten away with something, we haven’t. We have only deferred the time when we will deeply regret our action. God is graciously giving us time to sort this out before it is too late. Given the innumerable times each of us have ignored God, disregarded his ways, and arrogantly blamed or resented him when it was really us or others who were at fault, we desperately need a God whose silence means he couldn’t care less how we act. But if God passionately loves us, he couldn’t care more. Any apparent silence means things are building up to a confrontation of God-sized proportions. If we don’t voluntarily reach that point of deep regret on earth and discover how Jesus’ agonizing death is able to satisfy both the need for justice and God’s longing to pardon us, we’ll still come to the point of regret, but our intense regret will last for all eternity. For each of us, the time when we face our Judge is hurtling toward us. Since God loves us so immensely, and our situation is so desperate that his eternal Son left his heavenly throne to trade places with us on the cross, the consequences of spurning that love must be horrific. You Can Have it All Most of us keep saying by our actions that we don’t want God interfering in our lives. And yet God keeps interfering – keeping our heart beating and giving us all that we need to live. We refuse to submit to God as his children. We want to be our own God. To be granted that wish and exist independent of God is a prospect too horrific to contemplate. Every good thing we have ever enjoyed – even the ability to experience pleasure while grieving God by sinning – comes from the God we want to push away. Existence without God would make our worst nightmare seem like a party. It is literally hell. The time must come, however, when God fully respects our wishes and lets us have our own way. God does not want it for you, but his great love compels him to respect your wishes. Don’t break his heart and ruin your eternity by choosing never-ending separation from God, the Source of every good thing. There is no need for you to miss out on the most beautiful relationship and to spoil the greatest love story in the universe. It is easy to believe the Creator of the universe is powerful enough and smart enough to be able to give you the very best. It is obvious that God’s intelligence is so incomprehensibly superior to our own that it would be nothing short of stupidity to ever disregard his advice. To have him sharing his power and intelligence with us would be the greatest conceivable privilege and the most life-changing experience any human could hope for. You don’t have to be a genius to figure that out. The more challenging part is to trust that God loves you so much that he wants to enter into a marriage-like relationship with you in which God and you pledge to join your lives and abilities and resources to each other for all eternity. Like marriage, this is a big step, but it is not like blindly stepping off a cliff, hoping against hope that some invisible being is there to catch you. God has moved from the ethereal realm of human speculation into the concrete, observable world of human time and space. He has objectively demonstrated his character and commitment to us by the life, sacrificial death and proven bodily resurrection of his only eternal Son, Jesus Christ. He entered the human race and human history, subjecting himself to observation and the recording of his words and actions by eye-witnesses and this has been preserved by historians for the analysis of all subsequent generations. The evidence is far more concrete and extensive than most of us realize. For more about this, see a link about the resurrection of Jesus at the end of this webpage. Experiencing the ultimate relationship begins with a prayer like the following. Merely repeating words will achieve nothing, but meaning them will connect you with the God who knows your every thought and motive. Dear Jesus, Since you love everyone passionately, everyone I’ve ever cheated, gossiped about, lied to is someone you love. And since you love me, every time I’ve hurt my own potential, I’ve hurt you. My selfishness has broken your heart, yet you gave your life and defeated death to secure my pardon. You have given yourself totally for me and I long to respond to your overwhelming love, by dedicating all I have to pleasing you. I take you to be my God from this day forward. I will love, honor and obey you. I yield to your loving protection and guidance. I surrender my sins to you, renouncing even those things that entice me. And in exchange I receive your pardon, your purity, and your power to live a life worthy of you. Thank you that we have now commenced a union so unique and powerful that not even death can break it. What Makes This Webpage True? Like someone who might have cancer, our greatest enemy is our tendency to run from the truth or to procrastinate. Anyone with the sense to face the truth head-on is likely to concede that what I have shared about God is logically sound. Nevertheless, the fact that this webpage makes human sense, does not make it true. It is true only because it conforms with God’s revelation to humanity. As we are more complex than a single-cell organism, so God is exceedingly more complex than we are. Any attempt to understand him fully will fall further short than a two-year-old trying to understand its mother’s every decision and emotion. This makes us dependent upon God revealing himself to humanity and telling us what he is like. Suppose you discovered a stone-age tribe that has had no contact with the outside world and you cared enough for them to learn their language. Through simply believing you, they could know that the earth is round, that humans have visited the moon, and learn innumerable scientific facts that have taken humanity thousands of years to discover. Alternatively, they could arrogantly choose to ignore what you say and limit themselves to what their own intellect could figure out. If so, they would go through life ignorant of almost all scientific knowledge. It’s not that you are more intelligent; it’s simply that you have chosen to believe those who taught you about science. Similarly, if we limit ourselves to what our own brainpower can guess about God, we will remain needlessly ignorant about God. If, however, we choose to believe what God has decided to tell humanity about himself, even a child can know far more about spiritual things than a genius could ever figure out on his own. In the words of Jesus, “I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it” (Luke 18:17). On another occasion, Jesus prayed, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children” (Luke 10:21). By trusting Jesus and his teaching you can know things that God has cleverly hidden from those who stupidly pride themselves in their intellect. Yielding to God’s love is the most thrilling and fulfilling experience in the universe. We ignore or abuse that love, however, at our peril. Where to From Here? This webpage is but a brief outline of some very critical matters. If you have not done so already, I urge you to read fully You Can Find Love . This exciting webpage explains how having God in your life fulfills your deepest longings. It explains the role of Jesus (as distinct from any other religious teacher) in this. If you have any queries about any matters I have raised, please e-mail me. I would be honored to respond. For an introduction to all the objective proof that Jesus truly did rise from the dead, thus proving himself to have died in our place so that we might live with the Holy Lord forever, see Resurrection of Jesus: Fact or Fiction? If you prayed the above prayer for the first time or you have just now rededicated your life to Jesus, please e-mail me and I’ll endeavor to give you the encouragement and support you deserve. I also suggest you read Keys to Spiritual Growth .

This is for readers wanting only a brief overview. For a much more helpful, encouraging and insightful exploration of these Scriptures, see Many Instances of Bible Heroes’ Never-Answered Prayers . Despite his nation being in dire need, the Lord specifically told Jeremiah that he would refuse to answer his prayers: Jeremiah 7:16 Therefore don’t pray for this people, neither lift up a cry nor prayer for them, neither make intercession to me; for I will not hear you . (Emphasis mine – Jeremiah 11:14 and 14:11-12 are similar.) The Lord also said that the prayers of Moses and Samuel would likewise go unheeded: Jeremiah 15:1  . . . Though Moses and Samuel stood before me, yet my mind would not be toward this people . . . This principle is reiterated in Ezekiel: Ezekiel 14:13-16 Son of man, when a land sins against me by committing a trespass, and I stretch out my hand on it, and break the staff of its bread, and send famine on it, and cut off from it man and animal; though these three men, Noah, Daniel, and Job , were in it, they should deliver but their own souls by their righteousness, says the Lord. If I cause evil animals to pass through the land, and they ravage it, and it is made desolate, so that no man may pass through because of the animals; though these three men were in it, as I live, says the Lord, they should deliver neither sons nor daughters . . . (Emphasis mine.) “The Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend” (Exodus 33:11) in a way that he spoke to no other prophet (Numbers 12:8; Deuteronomy 34:10). David was so close to God that the Lord said he was “a man after his own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14; Acts 13:22). They each had such sway with God that their intercession halted God’s judgment on the entire nation (Deuteronomy 9:13-14,18-19; 2 Samuel 24:25). Nevertheless, both prayed passionately for something dear to their heart and were denied. Moses longed to enter the Promised Land. David pleaded desperately for the life of his baby. Deuteronomy 3:23-26 I begged the Lord at that time, saying, “Lord, you have begun to show your servant your greatness, and your strong hand. For what god is there in heaven or in earth that can do works like yours, and mighty acts like yours? Please let me go over and see the good land that is beyond the Jordan, that fine mountain, and Lebanon.” But the Lord was angry with me for your sakes, and didn’t listen to me. The Lord said to me, “Let this satisfy you. Speak no more to me of this matter. . . .” 2 Samuel 12:16-18 David therefore begged God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night on the ground. The elders of his house arose beside him, to raise him up from the earth: but he would not, and he didn’t eat bread with them. On the seventh day, the child died. . . . Both instances were marred by sin but despite their repentance and God’s forgiveness (from an eternal perspective) God refused to give them what they asked for. King David had yet another longing that God denied. Although “it was in the heart of David” (2 Chronicles 6:7) to build the temple, the Lord said that this must be done by his son (1 Chronicles 17:1-4; 1 Chronicles 28:2-3). Scripture does not specify whether God intervened before David had time to formulate his longing into a prayer but regardless of the specifics it was certainly close to a prayer. People repeatedly asked Jesus for a sign and received only a rebuke (Matthew 12:38-39; 16:1, 4 ; John 6:30). “Lord, show us the Father, and that will be enough for us.” pleaded Philip and he, too, was rebuked instead of receiving what he had hoped for (John 14:8). Among even the twelve apostles, Peter, James and John had a uniquely close relationship with Jesus (Mark 5:37; 9:2 13:3; 14:33; Galatians 2:9). ‘One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved’ (John 13:23; 19:26; 20:2; 21:7,20), who reclined closest to Jesus’ heart during the last supper (John 13:23) is almost universally believed to be John. He, and his brother James, asked Jesus for a special place of privilege and power the age to come. Perhaps hoping to further pressure Jesus, their mother even added her voice to the request (Matthew 20:20-21). Their request was denied. “You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said. “ . . .to sit at my right hand and at my left hand is not mine to give, but for whom it has been prepared.” (Mark 10:38,40). Another time, John and James approached Jesus about calling down fire down from heaven to destroy a Samaritan village that rejected them. Instead of responding positively, Jesus rebuked them (Luke 9:54-55). All the disciples joined forces in asking him to send the Canaanite woman away but their Lord ended up doing the exact opposite (Matthew 15:23, 28). Back

Bible Heroes’ Never-Answered Prayers This might be one of the most peculiar webpages you will ever read. Part of me is confident about plunging into the thorny but well-attested biblical fact of never-answered prayer. What almost paralyzes me, however, is being acutely aware that some of us are writhing in pain over prayer for divine intervention going unanswered. The result can be, as it were, such an open wound that even the tenderest touch sends these dear people reeling in intolerable agony or exploding in insuppressibly fury. Although I tackle the bigger picture in such webpages as  Why I Hate the Myth of a Cruel Christian God , and I will touch on it below, my main focus in this discussion is narrower: to comfort those who mistakenly fear that a failure to secure answered prayer might mean they are second class in God’s eyes. The truth – affirmed over and over in Scripture – is that virtually everyone that heaven honors has suffered unanswered prayer. Further harrowing dilemmas await anyone with the nerve to embrace an uncompromisingly honest investigation of the prayers of the righteous that, even in the Bible, remained unanswered. It would grieve me if anyone mistakenly imagines that grappling with this matter will undermine faith in answered prayer. On the contrary, my goal is to build you up by ensuring your faith is solidly Bible-based. Regretfully, the result will shock the many of us who are unaware that their ‘faith’ has, in part, been founded on misinterpretation of God’s precious Word. But  truth puts muscle on our faith . Even if it momentarily stuns us, truth empowers us and fires us to new heights in God, the prayer-answering Lord of the universe. It will also rescue us from lies that will not only end in disappointment but too often cruelly dupe spiritual champions into mistakenly thinking they have failed. Superficially, never-answered prayer seems such a negative subject that even among studious Bible readers, very few have stopped to realize how many incidents of unanswered prayer are secreted in God’s Word. Since, however, not just favorite verses, but “Every Scripture is God-breathed and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work,” (2 Timothy 3:16-17) it is foolhardy to disregard any part of God’s Word. Any Bible truth, no matter how glorious, can end up causing more harm than we dare imagine when divorced from the checks and balances of the rest of the Bible’s teaching. Like all of us, I’m sure to have areas of ignorance and vulnerability that I don’t even realize. Even on the topic in hand, I have no delusion of having exhausted the inexhaustible riches in a fraction of God’s Word. The Bible’s treasury on unanswered prayer is simply a realm I have explored more than many of us, and I seek to serve you by sharing my discoveries. For those whose heart isn’t crushed by personal tragedy or aren’t desperate for satisfactory answers to perplexing questions, I have a highly shortened version. If you are content with a brief overview of relevant, rarely compiled Scriptures, see Biblical Examples of Unanswered Prayers . In the following, however, we will add significantly more Scriptures and unpack them, extracting treasure that will empower us. The  next section below  delves into the Bible; uncovering numerous incidents of Bible saints reeling because of prayers that were never answered. Right now, however, I will provide a valuable perspective from which to view this surprising information. A shallow or selective reading of Scripture might lead some to imagine that the Bible teaches that our Lord always gives passionate, faith-filled Christians whatever they pray for. A more careful reading, however, proves over and over and over that whilst the prayers of hypocrites or the ungodly are not even heard. God answers all the prayers of his children  but , like any loving father, the answer is sometimes, “No,” or “Later.” (Actually, with our loving Lord, “No” means, “I have a better plan.”) As with any child, this infuriates the immature, often causing them to imagine God is unfair, plays favorites, or is even cruel. As children grow, however, they commence the long and unsettling discovery that life is far more complex than they had dared dream. Slowly, they begin seeing wisdom in perplexing parental decisions, and their frustration or even hostility, slowly turns to gratitude and even an exquisite feeling of security. On earth, however, we grow only in the limited sense of learning to trust God’s love and wisdom, and gaining a little insight into a mere fraction of the agonizing complexities our Lord faces in dealing with a world that refuses to do things his loving, wise way. None of us can truly imagine the anguish of a holy Lord who is so mind-bogglingly compassionate that his heart breaks not just the for the ‘innocent’ (we crucified the only true Innocent) but the guilty. Nor can we imagine the burden of being a God whose intellect is so powerful as to comprehend the full extent to almost every ‘tiny,’ ‘easy’ decision triggers chain reactions that, whilst perhaps immensely helping some people in the short term, end up harming others further along the bewildering maze of time. If you were already in heaven, you wouldn’t suffer things that happen in this sin-stricken world –being spurned or misunderstood, losing a loved one, enduring physical pain, and so on – but you wouldn’t be able to help rescue anyone from hell, nor support anyone who does. To loosely paraphrase a passage of Scripture: Foster the resolve of Jesus, who for God’s sake willingly relinquished his right to heaven’s ease and pleasures to suffer horrifically with and for humanity to do all he could to rescue them from the eternal consequences of their sin. And just as he is eternally honored and empowered for doing this, so will you (Philippians 2:5-9). Certain pagan philosophers, sadly deprived of revelation about God’s love, have even feared prayer. They had the intelligence to realize that human inability to perceive every eventuality means that even what to us seems essential or undeniably good, could astonish us by turning out disastrously and prove to be the very thing we should never have asked for. A cruel or robotic god might give us whatever we pray for, but a wise, loving Father would protect us from the consequences of our finite intelligence and will sometimes risk our wrath by wisely declining our requests. Unanswered prayer is such an important topic and so easily confused by fuzzy thinking or misinterpretation of the Bible, that I have devoted several webpages to the topic; each approaching the subject from a different angle. At the end of this webpage is a link to one of them:  The Joy of Unanswered Prayer . In it, I address the personal bewilderment and anguish we face when our own deepest prayers go unanswered. I explain from Scripture why having our top prayer requests never answered does not mean we have somehow failed. Astonishingly, in fact, our heartfelt prayers going unanswered is actually something to celebrate, and it proves God’s love, wisdom and goodness. This webpage differs from that one in that, rather than focusing on our own unanswered prayers, it examines the surprisingly many prayers of leading Bible characters that went unanswered, and why these, too, prove God’s goodness, and confirm that many of us have been mistaken in interpreting some Scriptures as saying that  every  prayer of the righteous will be answered with a yes.   Bible Heroes’ Never-Answered Prayers I wanted to start here with all the times Moses, David, Elijah, Job, Jonah and all of Jesus’ hand-picked disciples, including Peter, James and John suffered unanswered prayer. I don’t mean delayed answers to prayer, but all the times these faith giants, despite all the Bible’s promises about answered prayer, made requests of God – sometimes very passionately – that were never granted. Added to that are the times God even says in his Word there are prayer requests he would refuse to answer even if Noah, Samuel, Jeremiah and Daniel pleaded for them. The details would scuttle the mistaken notion that God mindlessly answers every sincere prayer, no matter how misguided. This fascinating Bible tour would be convincing and highly informative, even if some of the declined requests turned out to be more foolish or ungodly than the person realized, or the matter was less than deadly serious, or one might argue that the situation was somewhat tainted by sin (despite, by then, the person being genuinely repentant). So my head said to start with these clear-cut, undeniable Bible facts. But my heart will not let me. I feel too deeply for the many of us for whom unanswered prayer costs horrifically; bringing us to the brink of despair and fueling deep resentment. When,  later in this webpage , I flesh out the just-mentioned list of the unanswered prayers of the righteous, the fact of Bible-attested unanswered prayer will be irrefutable. No matter how definitive, however, several of these biblical proofs could seem too trivial or not sufficiently bewildering to galvanize the attention of those reeling under particularly bitter consequences of prayers not being answered. So I won’t start there.   To craft this webpage, I have racked my mind searching for every biblical example of godly people having their requests of God not merely put on hold but never granted. Have I found every instance? Possibly not. I have certainly uncovered many that do not appear in Bible dictionaries, topical Bibles or cross-references. Despite very many times reading the entire Bible from cover to cover, I have not done so specifically for this purpose. That makes me dependent upon a less than perfect memory. Moreover, some examples of unanswered prayer, though fairly obvious when pointed out, hide from anyone who has yet to put in the prayer and hard thinking (what the Bible sometimes calls meditation) required to pry beneath the surface. For instance, an indirect biblical indicator that Spirit-filled Christians can expect some of their prayers to be unanswered is found by delving into New Testament teaching about persecution and trials, such as: 2 Timothy 3:12   . . . all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. A little thought reveals what makes this so significant to our topic. Many of us can tolerate and/or understand several types of unanswered prayer but it turns very different when personal tragedy strikes. Sidenote:  I worry that starting here will seem too vague for readers for whom prayer is more an academic curiosity than a devastatingly personal issue that cuts them to the core. Even this section will soon edge toward more definitive examples of unanswered prayer but those anxious to plunge in at the deep end can jump to the  next major section  if they prefer. Consider Paul’s agonizingly long list of incarcerations, torture, stonings, and so on (2 Corinthians 11:24-29). Does anyone seriously think that this bloodied saint never prayed for protection? How likely is it that in the midst of the at least five times Paul received 39 lashes (an appalling total of 195) he never once prayed that his torturers stop before reaching that number? If you suppose Paul never prayed for his suffering to end, consider that this is the man who showed no hesitation in using his Roman citizenship to reduce his suffering ( Scriptures ). In fact, carefully read what flowed from his pen: 1 Timothy 2:1-2  I exhort therefore, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercessions, and givings of thanks, be made for all men: for kings and all who are in high places;  that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life  in all godliness and reverence.  (Emphasis mine.) And what about the imprisonments that kept Paul from preaching to the lost and from strengthening Christians in their fragile spiritual infancy? During all those empty hours, did he never find time to pray that he be released earlier than he was? After writing  2 Corinthians  Paul suffered at least one more shipwreck, (Acts 27:42-28:3) making a total of four. To draw upon what I have written elsewhere about the implications: Persecution is one thing, but natural disasters are in a different league. Surely none of Paul’s shipwrecks were due to anyone opposing the Gospel, and at least one, perhaps all, was the result of a storm. In the light of Jesus calming the sea (Luke 8:24), plus the biblical affirmation that the Almighty ‘has his way in the whirlwind and in the storm’ (Nahum 1:3 – note also Psalm 107:23-29) and that the Almighty used a storm to prevent Jonah from sailing away from God’s calling, it would be so easy to fall into despair by mistakenly interpreting storm-induced shipwrecks as signs of divine disapproval, or at least indifference. But this mighty man of God drudged on, convinced that despite it all, the good, all-powerful Lord loved him and was with him. Great faith does not mean an end to dark times when everything and everyone in hell, heaven and earth seems to be against you. Great faith means slogging on regardless; stubbornly holding on to the conviction that nothing – not “oppression, or anguish, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword . . . nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing” (Romans 8:35-39)  nor unanswered prayer  – can mean that God has stopped loving you or has given up on you. You might accuse me of speculation in supposing that some of Paul’s prayers for protection went unanswered, but if Paul had the almost superhuman iron will it would take never to pray for an end to his torture, the question screams: Why? I am well aware that from early in his calling the Lord showed Paul what he would suffer (Acts 9:16). Peculiarly, that’s relevant and yet changes nothing. It still means the man who received more revelation than virtually anyone ever to walk this planet was absolutely certain that Jesus preaching, “Ask anything,” should not be understood as a divine invitation to literally ask for anything you ache for that is not sin, even if you were in the midst of being tortured, with every fiber of your being crying out for it to end. And if prayer means we can get anything we earnestly desire that is not sin, why didn’t Paul and other martyrs successfully pray for God to change his plan? This issue engulfs far more Christians than just Paul: Philippians 1:29-30   . . . to you has been graciously granted on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer on behalf of him, having the same struggle which you saw in me and now hear about in me.  (Lexham English Bible) The apostle, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, did not say pray and it will go away but that suffering has been “graciously granted” to them. Instead of  graciously granted , a number of English Bible versions simply say  granted  or  given . I confess that for most of my life such a bare-boned translation led me to misinterpret this as implying being reluctantly given something unpleasant, rather than realize the astonishingly true meaning: for a Christian to suffer is to be generously honored with a precious gift. What finally altered me to the correct interpretation is discovering that Thayer’s Greek Lexicon defines the word as meaning, “to do something pleasant or agreeable (to one), to do a favor to”. I found particularly moving these quotes for Bible commentaries following on this passage: The revered New Testament scholar J. B. Lightfoot says the portion of the Scripture we are examining means, “God has granted you the high privilege of suffering for Christ; this is the surest sign, that He looks upon you with favour (sic).” Gerald F. Hawthorne, in his highly regarded work comments, “To use the apostle’s own words, in that the Philippians, as he himself, are suffering, they actually are filling up ‘what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s sufferings’ (Col 1:24-25). They, by having joined the “fellowship of his sufferings (Phil 3:10), have chosen to be Christ’s replacements on earth in order to suffer in his place in his absence. It is not that anyone dares put himself on the same level with Christ in this respect. Yet there apparently is a very real sense in which Christ needs people who are willing to take upon themselves the burden of his suffering in history that still remains to be borne. Paul on the one hand, wishes to be such a person (Col 1:24-25)—to suffer in Christ’s stead that others may be consoled (2 Cor 1:4-6), to die that others might live (2 Cor 4:12), to endure hardships that others might be saved (1 Cor 4:13 . . .) The Philippians, on the other hand, can also share in this privilege. They, too, may “suffer in Christ’s place” . . . Thus it is that Paul dares say that suffering . . . ‘in Christ’s stead’ is a divine gift offered to them in love.” H. A. A. Kennedy wrote, “The prospect of suffering was apt to terrify them. But when they view suffering in its true light they will discover that it is a gift of God’s grace . . . instead of an evil. . . . To emphasize the real value of suffering for Christ’s sake, he compares it with that which they all acknowledge as the crowning blessing of their lives, their faith in Him.” I will help unpack this enigma shortly. For the moment, let’s note that the notion of God allowing Christians to suffer is somehow within the permissive will of God is much bigger than Paul. Another apostle, writing under the Spirit’s anointing to a different audience, said the same thing: 1 Peter 4:12  Beloved, don’t be astonished at the fiery trial which has come upon you, to test you, as though a strange thing happened to you. 1 Peter 3:17  For it is better,  if it is God’s will , that you suffer for doing well than for doing evil . (Emphasis mine.) Care must be taken in interpreting the reference here to God’s will. This is not, of course, referring to heaven. There, God’s will is done perfectly and exclusively because the divine Judge has reluctantly banished to eternal judgment everyone breaking his heart and hurting each other by acting contrary to his perfect ways. Instead, this verse is speaking of the will of a God who hates sin but loves the sinner – a God who reels in anguish when sinners directly or indirectly inflict suffering on the innocent, and yet a God who loves the guilty so much as to want them to have yet another chance to repent before it is too late. It is God’s will in the sense that it was God’s will for Christ to suffer, even though his suffering inflicted as much pain on the Father as it did the Son. God recoils from seeing pain or being in pain. Christ’s suffering was God’s will, solely because we sinners desperately needed him to endure it. Likewise, what we suffer through not yet being in heaven is because, as much as it hurts the good Lord, we are currently needed on a planet where evil abounds. We are beginning to see that the Bible regards it as a privilege for the righteous to suffer. Of course, what makes this relevant to our discussion is that, like Jesus in the garden, this involves having prayers for deliverance from suffering going unanswered. Such suffering certainly includes persecution (“Blessed are you when people reproach you, persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely, for my sake”) but it is wider than that. When Christians suffer, it is because, rather than taking it easy in heaven, they have been divinely assigned to this spiritual war zone we call earth. As challenging as it is, this is our opportunity for glory. Let’s not waste this by paying the price of being in this evil world without doing all we can to achieve the most for our Lord. The divine dilemma is that what is best for those who have not yet surrendered to God is a delay in God’s judgment on this planet, and for committed Christians to be around to lead them to Christ before God’s patience ends. This is so very different from what, in the short term, is best for those who are already in Christ and so already safe from divine judgment. My longing is to stick solely to the Bible in this page but for those writhing in pain and bewilderment, permit me to stray into sheer logic for a moment. We can easily get too intoxicated to think straight over the notion that nothing is impossible for an almighty God; so blinded by rage at such a God that we cannot see any of the dilemmas a God of love faces. For example, a man wrote to me, angry that God had not answered his prayers to stop his wife from leaving him. I replied, asking why he hadn’t used his superior strength to kidnap his wife and keep her imprisoned in his house so that he could have her forever. If he were too moral to commit this atrocity, why did he expect a holy God to be more depraved than him? If this man were not satisfied with a wife who stayed only because she was forced, why would he be satisfied with a wife who stayed only because she was conned or drugged or hypnotized, or whatever? A God who could get her to stay when she really wanted to leave would have to resort to manipulation and underhanded tactics of that order. A God of love wants people to love, and love cannot be forced or manipulated. Not even an all-powerful God can do the logically absurd, such as make a square circle. An object that is a square is not a circle. Likewise, something that is forced or conned is not real love. There are things not even an omnipotent God can do, such as making an immoral act moral. Put another way: God has dignified us with the ability to be morally accountable, and anyone placed in some sort of divinely induced stupor is not morally praiseworthy but a mindless automaton – something no longer in the image of God but less than human. Looked at yet another way: if it were legitimate for our Lord to force salvation (which involves a change of heart) upon people, it would be an act of cruelty on his part not to force it on everyone. Moreover, as this dear man shared the details of his wife’s tragic fall from righteousness into drug addiction and depravity, it takes no genius to realize that she had broken God’s heart, just as much (I believe more, given the infinity of God’s love) as her husband’s heart. And even without this, our loving Lord was heart-broken for this dear man. God, however, remains a person of impeccable integrity and will resort to nothing underhand, even to spare his own pain. In situations where God sees the need to exercise his astonishing patience by delaying judgment on sinners who will be affected by that decision, “God’s will” is more like a necessary compromise than something that thrills him. Speaking of delayed judgment: like Christ, his true followers would rather suffer severe heartache and/or physical pain, and remain in a sin-ravished world where they can still help those who have not yet surrendered to Christ. And like him, and through him, they will be honored and eternally compensated for any suffering they endure in order to be in a depraved world that is opposed to them but desperately needs them. In the words of one who suffered horrifically: 2 Corinthians 4:17-18  For our light affliction, which is for the moment, works for us more and more exceedingly an eternal weight of glory; while we don’t look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. Philippians 1:21-25  For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I live on in the flesh, this will bring fruit from my work; yet I don’t know what I will choose. But I am in a dilemma between the two, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better. Yet, to remain in the flesh is more needful for your sake. Having this confidence, I know that I will remain, yes, and remain with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith. Note also: Philippians 3:10  My aim is . . . to share in his sufferings, and to be like him in his death  (NET Bible). Other Bible versions use the expression “share in his sufferings”. “I want to suffer with him,” says the New Living Translation (Contemporary English Version is almost identical). “I want to join him in his sufferings” (New International Reader’s Version). “I long to share his sufferings” says the JB Phillips version. Other renderings include “I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could . . . be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself.” (Message Bible) and “I want to . . . join in His suffering” (The Voice). In our era, crammed as it is with “lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,” (2 Timothy 3:4) this is a startling statement. It was divinely prophesied that the time would come when people would be “lovers of self” (2 Timothy 3:1-2). Surely this describes our era. In such a self-serving, pleasure-seeking world, to willingly – even eagerly – share someone’s suffering is an alien concept. It’s a common New Testament theme, however. How do you feel about suffering in order to share in the anguish of the one who suffered for you, and who still agonizes over sinners and would do – in fact has already done – everything possible to be there for them and bring them back to God? The notion of embracing such suffering, though well understood in New Testament times, is so foreign to our sin-sick, self-infatuated era that many of us slip over Scriptures about sharing Christ’s suffering as if they don’t exist.  I will move on, but to help shed light on the difference between the good that God would do in a world that let him, and the good he wrings out of anti-God situations, here’s a quote of mine: As an oyster, instead of ejecting a detested irritant, transforms it into an exquisite pearl, the infinitely good Lord takes acts he despises and, in staggering patience and breath-taking genius, fashions them into love-filled masterpieces of divine beauty. We can end up so awestruck by the finished masterpiece that it is hard to realize that the initial elements were not acts of God but satanically-inspired manifestations of ugliness that crushed God’s heart and repulsed him. We must recognize the process, lest in our confusion we defame our Lord by supposing he instigated things that were utterly contrary to the perfection of his love and goodness. On the other extreme, evil is so obvious early on, that one can mistakenly suppose the good Lord is nowhere to be found. Faith in God’s goodness is the one thing that will save us from the danger of seeing only the obvious and being thrown by circumstances. In citing biblical insights into Christian suffering, let’s not forget John, who described himself as “your brother and partner with you in oppression, [other versions say suffering, affliction, sorrows, or tribulation] . . . and perseverance in Christ Jesus” (Revelation 1:9). He penned  Revelation  while having been banished (perhaps with hard labor) to Patmos. While “in the Spirit” (Revelation 1:10) he heard the Risen Lord tell Christians such things as: Revelation 2:9-10  I know your works, oppression, and your poverty . . . Don’t be afraid of the things which you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested; and you will have oppression for ten days [presumably a figurative expression of the duration]. Be faithful to death, and I will give you the crown of life. Three times John spoke of “the prayers of saints” (Revelation 5:8; 8:3, 8:4) and yet he wrote: Revelation 13:6-7  He opened his mouth for blasphemy against God, to blaspheme his name . . . It was given to him to make war with the saints, and to overcome them. . . . Whatever the implications of being “overcome” by this ungodly power, it is sure to be physical, not spiritual, but sufficiently unpleasant for those suffering it to want it to stop. Despite the prayers of “the saints” reaching the throne of God and being so treasured by heaven that their prayers are mixed with incense, (Revelation 5:6-8; 8:3-4 God’s Word is emphatic that the oppression will still occur. So, however one looks at it, Paul’s experience – and that of every other spiritually powerful woman or man who has suffered for Christ – rocks many people’s shallow understanding of the Bible’s teaching about prayer. God’s promise is unshakable. The only thing that could crumble is our interpretation of those promises. Moreover, the following makes it undeniable that Paul suffered unanswered prayer: 2 Corinthians 12:7-9   . . . there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me . . . Concerning this thing, I begged the Lord three times that it might depart from me. He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” . . . Not once, not twice, but three times, this mighty apostle earnestly prayed (“begged,” “pleaded,” “implored” is how various translations put it) for deliverance, and God declined. Did Paul sulk or get angry or resentful? On the contrary, the above quote ends, “Most gladly therefore I will rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest on me.” This was the response of a true man of God; a faith giant who could say, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ,” (1 Corinthians 11:1, NIV). All of this begs the question, however,  Why doesn’t God keep Christians who are needed on earth in some sort of protective bubble? That way they could still help the lost, without suffering.  I would love to explore this with you but to adequately do so would be straying too far from the topic in hand.   As much as we might wish it, prayer is not the coward’s way out, nor a ticket to an easy life. If anything drives this home, it is our exalted Role Model praying with blood-like sweat pouring from him, an hour before his arrest. If anyone inspires us to believe in the power of prayer, it is the one whose own prayers did not save him from the cross; the one who said: Matthew 6:34   . . . don’t be anxious for tomorrow . . . Each day’s own evil is sufficient. Matthew 10:21-25  Brother will deliver up brother to death . . . You will be hated by all men for my name’s sake . . . when they persecute you in this city, flee into the next . . . A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his lord. It is enough for the disciple that he be like his teacher, and the servant like his lord. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebul, how much more those of his household! Matthew 6:24   . . . You can’t serve both God and Mammon. Luke 12:15   . . . Beware! Keep yourselves from covetousness, for a man’s life doesn’t consist of the abundance of the things which he possesses. Luke 14:26-27  If anyone comes to me, and doesn’t disregard his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he can’t be my disciple. Whoever doesn’t bear his own cross, and come after me, can’t be my disciple. It is noteworthy that, technically, Jesus’ agonized prayers in the garden were not denied. He asked for it only “if it is possible” (Matthew 26:39,  42 ). At first thought, it seems bizarre that our Lord would use this expression. Not only was Jesus conscious that, theoretically, nothing is impossible with God, he taught this very thing (Matthew 19:26). Jesus was wrestling, however, with a dilemma that our prayers often hit: there are things that even for the Almighty are impossible  and it be the greatest good . For example, Scripture is emphatic that, in practice, it is impossible for God to lie (Hebrews 6:18) or to deny his very nature (2 Timothy 2:13). That’s because it is not possible for God to do such things and it be good and/or wise. Likewise, despite the infinite Mind being able to devise things that to us are inconceivable, it is apparently impossible, even for someone of unlimited intelligence and power, to invent a way for the Son of God to avoid the cross, while permitting a just God to forever treat any of us as if we had never sinned. Similarly, for complex reasons that are often beyond us, it is sometimes impossible for God to answer our prayers and it be the best (righteous, most loving, most effective) course of action. If you were the only person in the universe the Almighty had to consider and if he had only to concern himself with this moment in time and not consider your future, there would be much less reason for this webpage. Furthermore, I have often found that the Lord pays more attention to the spirit of my prayers than my ‘helpful’ (‘narrow-minded’ is another word) advice as to how he should bring it about. For instance, if I am concerned about someone, I often think something would most help them, and so pray for it, but my amazing Lord sometimes thrills and astonishes me by ignoring what to me seems the only course of action, and responds to my wishes by blessing the person by what, in the long term, turns out to be a far more effective way.   More Unanswered Prayers of Bible Saints Moses  had such a favored position with God that the Lord states in his Word: Exodus 33:11  The Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend. . . . Numbers 12:6-8   . . . “Now hear my words. If there is a prophet among you, I, the Lord, will make myself known to him in a vision. I will speak with him in a dream. My servant Moses is not so. He is faithful in all my house. With him, I will speak mouth to mouth, even plainly, and not in riddles; and he shall see the Lord’s form. Why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant, against Moses?” When this special man of God stood before the burning bush, he pleaded with God, “Oh, Lord, please send someone else.” The Lord not only refused, his “anger burned against Moses” for even asking (Exodus 4:13-14). Will you join me in leaping for joy that we serve such a prayer  un answering God? Rather than answering prayers that let us settle for mediocrity or worse, our gracious Lord honors us by expecting us to break free from cowardice and rise to the heights he knows a life yielded to him is capable of. Proof that unanswered prayer is not just the result of spiritual immaturity surfaced later. Even after forty more years of revelation, spiritual growth, and faithful service, Moses passionately uttered a prayer that God refused to answer: Deuteronomy 3:23-26  I begged the Lord at that time, saying, “ . . . Please let me go over and see the good land that is beyond the Jordan, that fine mountain, and Lebanon.” But the Lord was angry with me for your sakes, and didn’t listen to me. The Lord said to me, “. . . Speak no more to me of this matter. . . .” He was not allowed to set foot on the land and permitted only to see it from a distance. Had this prayer or the next one we will mention or similar ones been answered, we might fall into the lie of thinking that what we do does not really matter. The principle is expressed here: 1 Corinthians 10:11-12  Now all these things happened to them by way of example, and they were written for our admonition, on whom the ends of the ages have come. Therefore let him who thinks he stands be careful that he doesn’t fall. Though not always associated with unanswered prayer, the principle of unavoidable judgment achieving good extends beyond Old Testament incidents. Consider the death of Ananias and Sapphira, after which “Great fear came on all who heard” of it (Acts 5:5). Another example is the seven sons of Sceva trying to cast demons out in the name of “Jesus whom Paul preaches.” Precisely because it turned out badly, it “became known to all, both Jews and Greeks, who lived at Ephesus. Fear fell on them all, and the name of the Lord Jesus was magnified. Many also of those who had believed came, confessing, and declaring their deeds. Many of those who practiced magical arts brought their books together and burned them in the sight of all. . . . So [or “in this way,” NIV] the word of the Lord was growing and becoming mighty” (Acts 19:17-20). “One of the illusions of life,” said Emerson, “is that the present hour is not the critical, decisive hour.” There are times when unanswered prayer rams home this truth like nothing else can.   David  was so close to God that the Lord said he was “a man after his own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14; Acts 13:22). Like Moses, (Deuteronomy 9:13-14, 18-19) he had such sway with God that his intercession halted God’s judgment on the entire nation (2 Samuel 24:25). Nevertheless, we read: 2 Samuel 12:16-18  David therefore begged God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night on the ground. The elders of his house arose beside him, to raise him up from the earth: but he would not, and he didn’t eat bread with them. On the seventh day, the child died. . . . King David yearned to build the temple (2 Chronicles 6:7). It was such a godly idea (1 Kings 8:17) that even the prophet Nathan gave his initial approval (2 Samuel 7:2-3). Nevertheless, despite the purity of his motives, this is yet another time when the Lord denied David’s heart’s desire (1 Chronicles 17:1-4; 1 Chronicles 28:2-3).   Elijah , hailed by James as the ultimate proof that “The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective,” (James 5:16-18) prayed that he would die. The Lord refused to grant his request (1 Kings 19:4). Likewise  Job , the man of whom the Lord said, “There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil,” (Job 1:8) prayed, “Oh that I might have my request, that God would grant the thing that I long for, even that it would please God to crush me; that he would . . . cut me off!” (Job 6:8-9). His prayer, too, went unanswered. Instead of the relief he craved, his torment dragged on and on. Many chapters later he lamented in his agonized prayer, “I cry to you, and you do not answer me” (Job 30:20). There are still more Bible indications of great men of God whose lives might have been tragically cut short if our Lord had answered such prayers. “If you treat me this way, please kill me right now . . . ” prayed Moses. In this instance, he gave God an alternative (Numbers 11:14-15). There was no such loophole in the prophet  Jonah’s  prayer, however: “. . . Lord, take, I beg you, my life from me; for it is better for me to die than to live” (Jonah 4:3, 8-9). Had such prayers been answered, we would have a thinner and/or different Bible. The full implications, however, are far more profound. Lest our discovery tour begin to seem like a dry collection of Bible trivia, let’s pause to ponder some of the practical ways this divine principle benefits you and me. Try imagining living in a world where people who preferred death were divinely granted their wish. Who can even conceive of all the accumulative good achieved by everyone who, at one time or another before achieving their maximum, has had at least a brief, but serious, downer. Consider, for example, how vastly more primitive this world would be if many of humanity’s inventors or agents of change had had their lives snuffed out, simply because death were only a prayer away. In fact, in such a world, incalculably vast numbers of even highly positive people would not even have been born, merely because somewhere in their immensely long family tree someone had had a moment of despair. This alone is enough to give us more reasons than we could even grasp for falling in joyous wonder before a God who refuses to surrender his sovereignty by mindlessly granting every prayer request. You might not think this is directly applicable to your unanswered prayer because, unlike those who wanted to die, you prayed for something that is undeniably best. The problem with such thinking is that all the people who have seriously prayed for death and ended up grateful they did not die, were also utterly convinced at the time that what they were praying for was best. If only we could get past the deluded arrogance of thinking we are smarter or more righteous or more loving than the Perfect One, we would discover that even if our prayers differ from temporarily suicidal people, we have as much reason for rejoicing in unanswered prayer as them. In fact, God’s loving wisdom is such that when our Lord decides to leave a prayer  un answered, it is as much reason for rejoicing as all the times he answers prayer. Despite his nation being in dire need, the Lord specifically told  Jeremiah  that he would refuse to answer his prayers: Jeremiah 7:16  Therefore don’t pray for this people, neither lift up a cry nor prayer for them, neither make intercession to me;  for I will not hear you .  (Emphasis mine – Jeremiah 11:14 and 14:11-12 are similar.) The Lord also said that the prayers of Moses and  Samuel  would likewise go unheeded: Jeremiah 15:1   . . . Though Moses and Samuel stood before me, yet my mind would not be toward this people . . . This principle is reiterated in  Ezekiel: Ezekiel 14:13-16  Son of man, when a land sins against me by committing a trespass, and I stretch out my hand on it, and break the staff of its bread, and send famine on it, and cut off from it man and animal; though these three men,  Noah, Daniel, and Job , were in it, they should deliver but their own souls by their righteousness, says the Lord. If I cause evil animals to pass through the land, and they ravage it, and it is made desolate, so that no man may pass through because of the animals; though these three men were in it, as I live, says the Lord, they should deliver neither sons nor daughters . . .  (Emphasis mine.) Why are some such prayers not answered? To quote yet another prophet, “when your judgments are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world learn righteousness,” but if “favor be shown to the wicked . . . he will not learn righteousness . . . he will deal wrongfully, and will not see the Lord’s majesty” (Isaiah 26:9-10). God warns and warns and delays and delays but if people refuse to repent, judgment must eventually come. In my quest to provide an adequate overview of the Bible’s extensive collection of the unanswered prayers of the righteous, I should not move on to the New Testament without mentioning instances that are so close to unanswered prayer as to be virtually indistinguishable from it. A number of people featured in the Bible were on the verge of specifically asking something of God, and the Lord cut them short so that they knew there was no point in asking because they knew their request would be denied. For example, twice in the same chapter we see Jeremiah edging exceedingly close to asking God to spare his nation from the divine judgment it thoroughly deserved. Both times, the Lord preempted him by saying he will not grant such a request. Note, too, what the Lord told Jeremiah to tell, his friend and private secretary  Baruch : Jeremiah 45:2-5   . . . the God of Israel, says to you, Baruch: You said, Woe is me now! for the Lord has added sorrow to my pain; I am weary with my groaning, and I find no rest. You shall tell him, the Lord says: . . . Do you seek great things for yourself? Don’t seek them . . . We are examining instances when fervent prayer could not change God’s mind. To demonstrate how unpredictable (from a human perspective) the results can be, however, it would be remiss not to give at least a brief reminder of all highly encouraging times that prayer has seemingly changed God’s mind. I say “seemingly” because we should understand that even on these occasions, God did not relinquish his sovereignty. Neither is God fickle, nor able to be bribed or emotionally manipulated. He is  always  compassionate and merciful and yearns for us to have a heart like his. 1 Timothy 2:3-4   . . God our Savior; who desires all people to be saved and come to full knowledge of the truth. 2 Peter 3:9  The Lord . . is patient with us, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. Ezekiel 33:11   . . As I live, says the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn, turn from your evil ways; for why will you die, house of Israel? Intercession is never about fighting a God who is reluctant to bless, but about the Lord giving us priceless opportunities to grow in becoming more like him. Our Lord’s eagerness for an intercessor to ‘change God’s mind’ is displayed here: Ezekiel 22:30  I sought for a man among them, who should build up the wall, and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one. The very next verse in this passage shows the tragic consequences of there being no intercessor: Ezekiel 22:31  Therefore have I poured out my indignation on them; I have consumed them with the fire of my wrath: their own way have I brought on their heads, says the Lord God. Consider these examples of prayer moving God to reverse his pronouncement: Isaiah 38:1-5  In those days was Hezekiah sick and near death. Isaiah the prophet, the son of Amoz, came to him, and said to him, “The Lord says, ‘Set your house in order, for you will die, and not live.’ ” Then Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord . . .Then The Lord’s word came to Isaiah, saying, “Go, and tell Hezekiah, ‘The Lord says . . . “I have heard your prayer. I have seen your tears. Behold, I will add fifteen years to your life. . . . Numbers 14:11-20  The Lord said to Moses, “How long will this people despise me? . . . I will strike them with the pestilence, and disinherit them, and will make of you a nation greater and mightier than they.” Moses said to the Lord, “. . .   if you killed this people as one man, then the nations which have heard the fame of you will speak, saying, ‘Because the Lord was not able to bring this people into the land which he swore to them, therefore he has slain them in the wilderness.’ Now please let the power of the Lord be great, according as you have spoken, saying, ‘The Lord is slow to anger, and abundant in loving kindness, forgiving iniquity and disobedience . . .’ Please pardon the iniquity of this people according to the greatness of your loving kindness, and according as you have forgiven this people, from Egypt even until now.” The Lord said, “I have pardoned according to your word [ Exodus 32:14  words the same incident this way: The Lord repented of the evil which he said he would do to his people.] Jonah 3:4-5, 10  Jonah . . . cried out . . . “In forty days, Nineveh will be overthrown!” The people of Nineveh believed God; and they proclaimed a fast, and put on sackcloth, from their greatest even to their least. . . . God saw their works, that they turned from their evil way. God relented of the disaster which he said he would do to them, and he didn’t do it. Note from the last example how, to be effective, prayer must not just be earnest but accompanied by a godly attitude to sin. King David certainly tried to change God’s mind. Let’s revisit David praying for his dying baby. I’m as appalled as you at the despicable way David conceived the baby whose life he pleaded for. In praying for the baby, however, I honor him for three things: 1. He had the humility to realize he did not know whether he could persuade God to relent . 2 Samuel 12:22   . . .  Who knows  whether the Lord will not be gracious to me, that the child may live?  (Emphasis mine.) As much as finite, fallible beings might crave a fantasy world in which we have fooled ourselves into thinking we have figured out the one “who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think,” (Ephesians 3:20) it is not spiritual reality. No matter how spiritually attuned someone might be, we all have times when we simply don’t know how God will respond until after prolonged prayer. There will always be times when prayer takes us on an adventure, not to a foregone conclusion; times when the most faith-filled of us can only pray in hope, rather than in certainty as to what God will do. It might be humbling – some might even find it frustration – but pondering the implications of Scriptures like the following can lead to no other conclusion. Exodus 32:30   . . . Moses said to the people, “You have sinned a great sin. Now I will go up to the Lord.  Perhaps  I shall make atonement for your sin.” 2 Kings 19:4   It may be  the Lord your God will . . . rebuke the words which the Lord your God has heard. Therefore lift up your prayer for the remnant that is left. Joel 2:13-14  Tear your heart, and not your garments, and turn to the Lord, your God; for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abundant in loving kindness, and relents from sending calamity.  Who knows?  He may turn and relent, and leave a blessing behind him . . . Zephaniah 2:3  Seek the Lord, all you humble of the land, who have kept his ordinances. Seek righteousness. Seek humility.  It may be  that you will be hidden in the day of the Lord’s anger. 2 Timothy 2:25  in gentleness correcting those who oppose him:  perhaps  God may give them repentance . .  (Emphasis mine.) If you want a dry, predictable prayer life where you always know the outcome before fervently asking, I have nothing to offer. It isn’t on God’s agenda. Let’s see what else is praiseworthy – even inspirational – in how David responded to this situation. 2. He gave it his best shot . Despite the anointed prophet Nathan declaring that the baby would die (2 Samuel 12:14): 2 Samuel 12:16-17  David . . . begged God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night on the ground. The elders of his house arose beside him, to raise him up from the earth: but he would not, and he didn’t eat bread with them. Despite sinning atrociously, David repented whole-heartedly (e.g. Psalm 51) and instead of wallowing in defeat, he fully embraced God’s forgiveness and prayed as earnestly as if his sin no longer hindered his relationship with God, which is what divine forgiveness is all about. By doing so, David embodied the truth expounded in such scriptures as: Isaiah 43:25  I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake; and I will not remember your sins. Micah 7:8  Don’t rejoice against me, my enemy. When I fall, I will arise. When I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me. Proverbs 24:16  for a righteous man falls seven times, and rises up again . . . Isaiah 55:7  Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts. Let him return to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him; and to our God, for he will freely pardon. Psalm 103:12  As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Micah 7:18-19  Who is a God like you, who pardons iniquity . . . ? He doesn’t retain his anger forever, because he delights in loving kindness. He will again have compassion on us. He will tread our iniquities under foot; and you will cast all their sins into the depths of the sea. 3. David humbly accepted God’s decision . Samuel 12:19-20   . . . David said to his servants, “Is the child dead?”They said, “He is dead.” Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his clothing; and he came into the Lord’s house, and worshiped. Then he came to his own house . . . and he ate. We noted that despite the Lord already pronouncing that David’s baby would die, he kept praying. Doing so was not impertinent (we stressed his humility). He understood that prayer can sometimes succeed in reversing a divine pronouncement and we have already cited biblical examples of this happening. Perhaps the Bible’s greatest example of a battle of wills ending in the Lord seeming to change his mind is the Canaanite woman. The Gospels are crammed with moving stories of people who overcame serious obstacles to receive their request from God. There’s the man who, being paralyzed, had no way of getting to Jesus. Instead of surrendering to the impossibility, he persuaded friends to carry him. He reached the house only to find it so ridiculously crowded (probably with people peering through windows and spilling out everywhere) that entry was impossible. Somehow, he cajoled his long-suffering friends to push through people on the outside to climb the roof, hoist him up, break through the roof – the owner must have been delighted – and lower him into the room crammed with people. (Mark 2:4; Luke 5:19) There’s the two bind men who stifled any embarrassment and cried out to Jesus from the midst of the crowd. Virtually the entire crowd turned against them, telling them to shut up. They cried out even louder (Matthew 20:30-33). There’s the man who, like this Canaanite woman, had a demonized child. He managed to secure the help of Jesus’ chosen disciples. They failed utterly. Instead of accepting that this case was obviously too hard, he sought out the busy Jesus. (Matthew 17:14-18) On and on we could go, citing people who got their miracle because they refused to be deterred by oppressive circumstances or Jesus’ peculiar instructions (e.g. John 9:6-7) or the fact that it was Sabbath or that they were unclean or seen as the dregs of society. But the Canaanite woman’s predicament was far more dire: she was personally rejected by Jesus: Matthew 15:22-27  Behold, a Canaanite woman . . . cried, saying, “Have mercy on me, Lord, you son of David! My daughter is severely possessed by a demon!” But he answered her not a word. His disciples came and begged him, saying, “Send her away; for she cries after us.” But he answered, “I wasn’t sent to anyone but the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” But she came and worshiped him, saying, “Lord, help me.” But he answered, “It is not appropriate [“is not right” is how most versions put it] to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” But she said, “Yes, Lord, but even the dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.” Jesus not only deliberately ignored her, his disciples even got into the act. Then, because she persisted, he gave her his important reason: to do as she requested would be contrary to his divine calling. Finally, in response to still more pleas, he added that granting her request was not right, plus he referred to her as a dog – an unclean animal. But note the outcome of Jesus having to reverse his decision and act contrary to what he had publically stated to be his divine mission: Matthew 15:28  Then Jesus answered her, “Woman, great is your faith! Be it done to you even as you desire.” And her daughter was healed from that hour. Instead of being disappointed, Christ was delighted. Rather than downplaying the incident – lest others be emboldened to act like her in having the audacity to refuse to take no for an answer – he highlighted it, thus ensuring it was recorded in the Gospels for all subsequent generations. He publically praised her, and hailed her as a role model.   We have, of course, been finding more and more biblical examples where God was resolute in declining a request – and even requests that earned a divine rebuke. And as we move into the New Testament we will find even more. Nevertheless, there are a vast number of seemingly similar instances when requests were granted. It would be fraudulent, and treating God’s holy Word with disdain, to bury or dismiss one set of biblical examples of God’s response to prayer, whilst showcasing another set we find more encouraging or intelligible. The upshot is clear: when exercised in submission to God, faith-filled prayer can achieve astonishing things. Nevertheless, there remain certain prayer requests where, no matter how righteous and high in faith one is, we find ourselves in a position like David: we can only give prayer our best shot and humbly leave the result in God’s capable hands, knowing that only he is truly good, infinitely wise, and flawlessly selfless in his devotion to humanity. ‘Faith’ that we know the best outcome can sometimes be an act of vanity. In contrast, faith that our perfect Lord will respond to our request in the perfect way, is never misdirected. When I wrote earlier that we all have times when we simply don’t know how God will respond until after prolonged prayer, I was very deliberate in my choice of the word  prolonged . Consider Elijah on Mount Carmel straight after his stupendous victory over all of the prophets of Baal. Elijah had been outnumbered four hundred and fifty to one. All of Baal’s prophets prayed for hours and hours; shouting and even slashing themselves with swords and spears. After their miserable failure, Elijah went to the extreme of saturating the wood and the sacrifice over and over until the water even filled the trench. Elijah prayed. Suddenly, out of a clear sky, a bolt of fire consumed not only the sacrifice but all the water in the trench and even the stones and soil. (1 Kings 18:22-38) Then he prayed for rain. His faith at that moment must have been so astonishingly high as to soar all the way to heaven. With not a cloud in sight, this faith champion put his face between his knees and prayed intensely. When it seemed he had prayed enough, he sent his servant to climb higher and scan the horizon for the slightest sign of rain. The man returned to say there was nothing. Elijah prayed yet again, this time, most likely, praying even harder and longer. Again the servant checked. Still nothing. There is not a hint in the account that there had been the slightest delay when Elijah had called down fire. What was going on? He prayed again, pouring out his heart to God. Again his servant climbed up and searched the sky. Again he returned. Absolutely nothing. Again, his head between his knees in what some claim to be the Israeli birthing position, Elijah agonized in prayer. Again, the servant, who by now was probably tiring and losing patience, climbed to the best vantage point and returned with the same devastating news. Again Elijah prayed. Again nothing happened. Yet again Elijah prayed. Again nothing. Six times he had prayed. Six times the heavens remained like iron. Having prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed and failed all those times, it was clear to Elijah what was wrong: he hadn’t prayed enough. He prayed still more. The long-suffering servant returned yet again. He had spied a tiny cloud in the sky. (1 Kings 18:42-45) What if Elijah had given up after the sixth time; convinced that God had obviously said “No”? I wonder how many of us will get to heaven with a question burning on our lips, “Lord, why didn’t you answer my prayer?” only to be greeted with, “I was about to do so but then you stopped praying.” When “the whole counsel of God” (Acts 20:27) is taken with reverent seriousness, we are forced to conclude there are times when differences to God’s response to prayer cannot be explained away in terms of the thing prayed for, or the way it was prayed for, or the person doing the praying. Nothing screams this more emphatically than this incident carefully persevered in God’s Word: Amos 7:1-9  Thus the Lord God showed me: and behold, he formed locusts . . . When they finished eating the grass of the land, then I said, “Lord God, forgive, I beg you! How could Jacob stand? For he is small.” The Lord relented concerning this. “It shall not be,” says the Lord. Thus the Lord showed me and behold, the Lord God called for judgment by fire; and it dried up the great deep, and would have devoured the land. Then I said, “Lord God, stop, I beg you! How could Jacob stand? For he is small.” The Lord relented concerning this. “This also shall not be,” says the Lord God. Thus he showed me and behold, the Lord stood beside a wall made by a plumb line, with a plumb line in his hand. The Lord said to me, “Amos, what do you see?” I said, “A plumb line.” Then the Lord said, “Behold, I will set a plumb line in the middle of my people Israel. I will not again pass by them anymore. The high places of Isaac will be desolate, the sanctuaries of Israel will be laid waste; and I will rise against the house of Jeroboam with the sword.” Just when Amos seemed to be on a roll and that he had the Almighty figured out, everything crashed. Suddenly, unpredictably the same God gave the opposite response. In effect, the Lord was saying, “Amos, asking me to relent worked twice, but there’s no point in asking anymore.” This was the same anointed prophet, on the same occasion, interceding for the same nation and the inspired account introduces the situation the same way (“Thus he showed me and behold . . .”). Moreover, because the Almighty acts before Amos even gets a chance to pray, there is no possibility of the slightest difference in the prophet’s attitude – such as overconfidence – to come into play. Between the first two instances and the last, there is no difference in godliness, and, if anything, Amos’s faith would have been higher than ever by the third time. We cannot even grasp at straws by trying to argue that one set of divine responses was under the Old Covenant and the other was under the New. A god of our own creation might always be predictable. No matter how familiar we get with the real God, however, he remains infinitely superior to us. Whilst, of course, there is nothing erratic about him, if he never responds to your prayers in a way you find unfathomable, I question the breadth of your experience. We must either learn to tolerate mystery, or swap the real God from an imaginary one. Unanswered Prayer: New Testament Revelation We have already cited the New Testament extensively. It is hard to resist when it dovetails so perfectly with various matters we have been discovering. In fact, when it comes to unanswered prayer, I have found no differences between New and Old Testament revelation. This is hardly surprising, since both feature the same God who changes not (Malachi 3:6; Psalm 102:27), and the New Testament keeps citing the Old with divine authority. Yes, the New Covenant is better, but salvation has always been by faith, not works. Consider this: Galatians 3:6-21   . . . Abraham “believed God, and it was counted to him for righteousness.” Know therefore that those who are of faith, the same are children of Abraham.   . . . that no man is justified by the law before God is evident, for, “The righteous will live by faith.” . . . For if the inheritance is of the law, it is no more of promise; but God has granted it to Abraham by promise.  . . . Is the law then against the promises of God? Certainly not! Romans 4:2-6  emphatically restates the key truth that Abraham was saved by faith, not works, and declares that this not only applied to Abraham but that “David says the same thing” in his psalm (Romans 4:6, NIV). The Spirit’s anointing is now available to all, declared Peter, while quoting the Old Testament as proof (Acts 2:16-18). Previously, only a select few received this empowering, such as prophets (e.g. Micah 3:8), certain leaders (e.g. Judges 14:6; 1 Samuel 10:6, 11-12), the seventy elders in Moses’ time (Numbers 11:25) , and so on. The number of people with this special anointing prior to  Acts  might not have been huge, but much of the Old Testament is about them. No one should be shocked that when James was searching for an example of the power of prayer (James 5:16-18), and  Hebrews 11  wanted to stress the power of faith, both cited the Old Testament. Our careful examination of the New Testament will confirm that what it reveals about unanswered prayer is identical to our Old Testament discoveries. Jesus, who came to show us the Father, frequently refused to give people what they asked of him. Matthew 8:21  Another disciple said to him, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” Despite Scripture calling him a disciple, his request was denied. People repeatedly asked Jesus for a sign and received only a rebuke (Matthew 12:38-39; 16:1,  4 ; John 6:30). But let’s move beyond the masses to  Jesus’ apostles ; the ones of whom he said, “To you it is given to know the mysteries of the Kingdom of Heaven, but it is not given to them” (Matthew 13:11). “Lord, show us the Father, and that will be enough for us,” pleaded  Philip . He, too, was rebuked instead of receiving what he had hoped for (John 14:8-9). Even after Jesus’ resurrection, the apostles asked for something as seemingly harmless as revelation and they were denied: Acts 1:6-7  “Lord, are you now restoring the kingdom to Israel?” He said to them, “It isn’t for you to know times or seasons which the Father has set within his own authority. A Canaanite woman kept badgering Jesus. “His disciples came and begged him, saying, “Send her away; for she cries after us.” (Matthew 15:23). All of Jesus’ chosen had banded together to make this plea. What an astonishingly beautiful story resulted from Jesus’ refusal to do as they had asked! When a Samaritan village discovered that Jesus and his disciples were heading for Jerusalem, the villagers refused to accommodate them.  James and John  sought Jesus’ power to “call fire down from heaven to destroy them” (Luke 9:54). They were asking the one who not only said, “Ask and it will be given to you,” “I will do whatever you ask in my name,” and so on, but the one who had very specifically and prayerfully (Luke 6:12-13) selected them to be his chosen apostles. Nevertheless, the one in whose name we are asked to pray not only refused to grant them their request/prayer, he rebuked them for even asking. This rebuke came despite them having the sense and reverence to frame their request virtually in the form of ‘if it be your will’; specifically: “Lord, do you want us to . . .” I don’t know about you, but this, by itself, is enough to make me want to celebrate for all eternity that my Lord refuses to answer all the prayers of his devoted servants. Besides longing to serve a God who is loving, patient and merciful, who would want to be in a church where if you happened to annoy someone, he/she could literally incinerate you with a single prayer? If you think I have chosen an extreme example; think again. Consider who was wanting to burn to crisp the inhabitants of an entire village for being slow to recognize their anointing. Not only were James and John one-sixth of the chosen twelve (or, if you include treacherous Judas, among the one fourth of them who were terrifyingly willing to kill) they were two-thirds of the select inner circle, who were especially close to Jesus. “One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved” (John 13:23; 19:26; 20:2; 21:7,20), who reclined closest to Jesus’ heart during the last supper (John 13:23) is almost universally believed to be John. Moreover, they were not only asking Jesus to annihilate many people (perhaps including children) but seeking the power to do it themselves. If even those so close to Jesus could ask of him such dangerously foolish things, we should all heave a sigh of relief and praise God that Christians’ prayers can go unanswered. We desperately need a God whose goodness cannot be corrupted by Bible-thumping bigots; cannot be manipulated by conniving self-seekers; cannot be defiled by human greed, and whose wisdom will not be thwarted by pray-ers with idiotic delusions of grandeur. The entire cosmos needs a God who alone is worthy to receive glory and honor and power, (Revelation 4:11) and has not signed away his right to rule. On another occasion, James and John asked Jesus for special favor, introducing their request with, “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we will ask” (Mark 10:35-41). He, and his brother James, asked Jesus for a special place of privilege and power in the age to come. Perhaps hoping to further pressure Jesus, their mother even added her voice to the request (Matthew 20:20-21). This, too, was denied and they received a lecture on “Whoever of you wants to become first among you, shall be bondservant of all” (Mark 10:44). “You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus told James and John Mark 10:38). They were among several respected Bible characters mentioned in this webpage, such as Moses, Philip and Peter whose request was so far off that it was not only denied but they were rebuked for even thinking it was acceptable to ask for such a thing. Getting prayer requests completely wrong is so common that Romans 8:26 (NIV) says, “We do not know what we ought to pray for . . .” We need to lose some of our arrogance if we presume we can rival God in having the infallibility and infinite intelligence to always know how to bring about the best long-term outcome, and therefore the best thing for which to pray. If ever we fail to select the perfect thing to pray for, it is not a disaster, unless we add to our mistake by resenting the good Lord for declining what we are not ingenious enough to know is a less than ideal request. Yet another of the inner three apostles not only had a request denied but was chastised by the Son of God for even asking. In this case, it was  Peter  and, unlike the others wanting to annihilate people, his plea was motived by love. Nevertheless, it provides even more reason for rejoicing in God not answering every request. In fact, I cannot conceive of anything greater to rejoice in than Peter’s prayer not being answered. If anyone could ever expect to have Jesus’ ear, it must surely be Peter. Matthew 16:17-19  Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. . . . you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my assembly, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it. I will give to you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will have been bound in heaven; and whatever you release on earth will have been released in heaven.” Immediately after those words, Scripture records Peter making a request of Jesus; pleading/insisting that Jesus not go the way of the cross. This passionate request was not merely refused but was met with a stinging rebuke (Matthew 16:22-23). And why does that make me want to turn cartwheels? Had Jesus answered Peter’s love-motivated plea, no-one on this planet could have been spared the horrific and eternal consequences of our sin! If someone so close to Jesus’ heart and so receptive to divine revelation could get things so horribly wrong, do you really think any of us are incapable of ever asking God for things he should not grant? Even after Jesus’ resurrection, Peter made a request that Jesus refused to answer, even though for Jesus to grant him his request would not have been catastrophic. This time, Peter was asking about the future of “the disciple whom Jesus loved” (John 21:20-22). What does all this mean? We have been investigating a subject strongly attested to in the Word of God and yet rarely mentioned. It seems some preachers and scholars even find it an embarrassment. If so, it screams a less than perfect understanding of the Supreme One’s ways. With Scripture insisting that “we see through a glass, darkly” and that God’s ways soar as far above us as the heavens, who of us dare claim full understanding? (1 Corinthians 13:12, King James Version; Isaiah 55:9) I am so conscious of my own limitations in this regard that I have not only devoted an entire webpage to it, I have linked to it at the end of almost all my webpages and I have done my utmost to entice people to read it by calling the link  My Shame . Nevertheless, “the secret things belong to the Lord our God; but the things that are revealed belong to us,” This obligates each of us to obey God’s directive to keep reading, studying and pondering the Word of God, praying “Open my eyes, that I may see wondrous things out of your law,” and, to paraphrase two Scriptures, grow in the knowledge of our Lord; repeating the Apostle Paul’s prayer that God grant us “a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him.” In addition, we can all humbly and in awe fall at the Almighty’s feet, gasping in adoration: Romans 3:4  . . . let God be found true, but every man a liar. . . . Romans 11:33-5  Oh the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and the knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past tracing out! “For who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?” “Or who has first given to him, and it will be repaid to him again?” We have begun to discover that God not giving us everything we crave is actually one of the most comforting and precious things about our beautiful Lord. We have found biblical examples of never-answered prayers in the lives of so many people. Moreover, Scripture specifically states there are prayer requests that would not be granted even if Noah, Moses, Samuel, Job, Jeremiah and Daniel selflessly pleaded for them. The Joy of Unanswered Prayer  begins with explaining that the  Apostle Paul , and even  Christ  himself, endured the agony of repeatedly praying prayers that were never answered. The webpage then proceeds to examine from a biblical perspective the personal implications for our own unanswered prayers. If you have yet to read it, the link appears below. God’s Word provides abundant proof that no matter how godly and wise someone might normally be, no one is immune from a rare slip-up. This proves how foolhardy and terrifyingly dangerous it would be for Father God to ever hand over his right to veto his children’s prayer requests. It begs the question, however: isn’t this precisely what God has promised in certain Scriptures? This important matter is addressed in some of my other webpages about prayer, such as  Prerequisites for Answered Prayer: When Faith & Prayer Do Not Work . The Joy of Unanswered Prayer

Prayer Mysteries In the next life, when we at last see things clearly, we’ll probably look back through the years and praise God far more for unanswered prayer than for almost all the answers to prayer we received. If, after interminable years, your prayers have not been answered, it puts you in league with Abraham, the man revered as the Christians’ prime example of faith ( Romans 4:9 , 11-13 , 16-24 ; Galatians 3:6-9 ; Hebrew 11:8-19 ; James 2:21-23 ). Should, however, the answer to your prayer not merely be deferred but never come, you are like the King of Glory . Consider this example of unanswered prayer, uttered in intense passion by the most righteous, powerful, faith-filled person ever to walk this planet: Hebrews 5:7 He, in the days of his flesh, having offered up prayers and petitions with strong crying and tears to him who was able to save him from death, and having been heard for his godly fear. How thoughtfully did you read that? The Holy, Eternal Son of God passionately prayed “to him who was able to save him from death” and yet, despite being “heard” he died an agonizing death in humiliation and apparent defeat. If by answered prayer we mean being given what we want when we want it, it is a biblical fact that not every prayer will be answered, no matter how Spirit-filled and faith-filled we are. Moses, Elijah and Job were men of superior integrity, devotion and faith. Jonah was a prophet of God. They not only wished they were dead, they asked God – some even pleaded with him – to kill them ( 1 Kings 19:4 ; Numbers 11:15 ; Job 6:8-9 ; 7:15 ; Jonah 4:3 , 8-9 ). None of these prayers was answered. In fact, the Bible keeps giving so many examples of people’s prayers not being answered, that I’m reluctant to cite many for fear of boring you. Consider this Scripture: 2 Corinthians 12:7-9  . . . that I should not be exalted excessively, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me, that I should not be exalted excessively. Concerning this thing, I begged the Lord three times that it might depart from me. He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you . . .” Paul was adamant that this “thorn” was anti-God; “a messenger of Satan” that tormented him. Despite the mighty apostle’s immense faith and spiritual authority, however, God cared too much for Paul’s spiritual well-being to answer his repeated prayers for the attack to end. God’s “grace” – the spiritual empowering to endure, divinely seeded within Paul – was enough. The Lord revealed that the quick delivery most modern-day Christians expect, could have spiritually ruined Paul because of the greater danger lurking in the shadows – pride. Over and over Scripture tells us to rejoice in trials. This is not so that we can act macho but because trials really are something to rejoice about. Trials do us good, developing character and spiritual benefits that will last forever. They equip us for ministry. They equip us for eternity. Like Paul, however, when we’re in the midst of them we want out . There are times when God loves us too much to answer those escapist prayers. God has our long-term good at heart, not some short term high that fizzles. Try reading this Scripture in a new light: 1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. This is nothing remotely like a promise that God would make strong temptation melt away for his beloved. Instead, it is a promise that we would be able to “endure”. The King James Version uses the expression “able to bear it.” The point is that if the divinely-provided “way of escape,” was for the temptation to go away, there would be nothing to “bear.” Too many Christians wrongly suppose that if temptation continues to rage after prayer, there must be something wrong. The divine game-plan has never been to prevent us from being hit repeatedly by fierce temptation but to empower us to endure it. The promise is not that God will mollycoddle us, treating us as embarrassing weaklings who would shame him the moment things get tough, but that God will secrete within us everything that we need to heroically survive the onslaught – and by so doing be acclaimed forever as spiritual champions. Even in the Old Testament, God’s people were called to fight the enemy, keep themselves holy and in no way compromise and yet, for at least two divinely brilliant reasons, God chose not to give them quick deliverances but to keep them battling their enemies year after year: Exodus 23:29 I will not drive them out from before you in one year, lest the land become desolate, and the animals of the field multiply against you. Judges 3:1-2 Now these are the nations which the Lord left, to test Israel by them, even as many as had not known all the wars of Canaan; only that the generations of the children of Israel might know, to teach them war, at least those who knew nothing of it before As Peter affirmed, no matter how intimate your relationship with the all-powerful Lord is, you should “don’t be astonished at the fiery trial which has come upon you, to test you, as though a strange thing happened to you” ( 1 Peter 4:12 ). Consider the spiritual heroes portrayed in the faith gallery in Hebrew 11. Many of us lock on to the first half of the gallery – those who by faith received miracles – and overlook the second half, who through faith received the power to endure torment and martyrdom when God saw a better way than to grant miraculous avoidance. Hebrews 11:35-38  . . . [By faith] Others were tortured, not accepting their deliverance, that they might obtain a better resurrection. Others were tried by mocking and scourging, yes, moreover by bonds and imprisonment. They were stoned. They were sawn apart. They were tempted. They were slain with the sword. They went around in sheep skins and in goat skins; being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated (of whom the world was not worthy), wandering in deserts, mountains, caves, and the holes of the earth. Even of the first half of the faith gallery, Scripture says none received in their lifetime what had been promised (verse 39). And consider Abraham: for year after year, decade after decade, his prayer for a child went unanswered. He had no idea what was going on, but it turned out that each year his prayers went unanswered Abraham was achieving eternal glory as a man of faith, the spiritual father of all who have faith. Likewise, Job ministers so powerfully through the centuries right down to today because both his prayer for healing and his prayer for death met icy silence. There are times when unanswered prayer is the only path to such glory. Faith, says Scripture, is more precious than gold, and yet faith can only grow by prayers going unanswered for what seems an eternity. Yes, the answer finally comes, but faith grows by stretching. It’s usually in those dreary days of unanswered prayer that faith grows best. God knows how to give good things to his children. Matthew 7:7-8 Ask, and it will be given you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and it will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives. He who seeks finds. To him who knocks it will be opened. That sounds as if we will get anything we ask for, but read on (verses 9-11): Or who is there among you, who, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, who will give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! That still sounds like we will get anything we ask for, but consider the implications of Jesus’ teaching that God is the perfect Father. If a child asks for bread, he won’t be given a stone. Nevertheless, a child will sometimes be given vegetables that to him seem as tasteless and as useless as a stone. The child might complain as bitterly as if he were actually given a stone. Nevertheless, his cries for candy and ice-cream will sometimes go unheeded because wise parents know how to give good things to their children. Likewise, if a child asks for a fish, he will not be given a snake. If, however, a little child foolishly asks for a cobra or scorpion to play with, he will not be given one. Again the child will feel unfairly treated but no matter how much he pleads, the child will not be given anything harmful. Likewise, in order to remain the perfect Father that he is, God must refuse our request when in our ignorance we ask for things that to us seem good, but ultimately are not in our best interest. Little children focus on their immediate pleasure, whereas wise, loving parents look out for their children’s longer term good. This is the source of many a complaint from children who mistakenly think their parents are being harsh and stingy. As we grow up we come to realize the benefits of focusing on our longer term good, and we become grateful that our parents did not let us have all the things that we now recognize as being unwise or even dangerous. Yet even as mature adults, we often focus on a ridiculously short time-frame, relative to eternity. Like the perfect Parent he is, God gives the very best to his children, even at the expense of incurring their wrath if they foolishly misjudge what is best for them. “You don’t have, because you don’t ask,” sounds like an exciting invitation to receive whatever we desire, but before falling into the very trap James is seeking to expose, let’s look at the context: James 4:2  . . . You don’t have, because you don’t ask. You ask, and don’t receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it for your pleasures. So they did, in fact, ask but their prayers went unanswered because they asked for the wrong things and with the wrong motives. The Holy Lord wants to nurture righteousness and selflessness in his children; not use his power to foolishly feed an addiction to lust, greed and materialism. Near the beginning of his epistle, James said we cannot expect answered prayer if we waver in faith ( James 1:5-8 ). He was referring, however, to asking for something highly spiritual – godly wisdom ( James 1:5 ; 3:13 , 17 ). Trying to entice God to answer prayers to foster our selfishness, however, is such a lost cause that rather than suggest more faith, James denounces the practice. He continues his tirade against praying for wrong things or with wrong motives: James 4:4 You adulterers and adulteresses, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. The next verse initially seems strange: James 4:5 Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who lives in us yearns jealously”? This is reminiscent of what Paul says: Romans 1:28-29 Even as they refused to have God in their knowledge, God gave them up to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness , malice; full of envy , murder, strife, deceit, evil habits, secret slanderers. (Emphasis mine) James is saying that we are all subject to an intense urge to envy. How true that is! Our natural tendency is to slide into the pit of regretting what we don’t have, rather than rejoicing in what we have. Give Joe Average a hundred million dollars and he’d be over the moon with excitement about how rich and blessed he is. Then give ten billion dollars to hundreds of people around him and it will not be long before, regardless of his millions, he is feeling deprived. Despite our natural predisposition to be driven by envy, however, James immediately continues to explain that through Christ we can live in victory over this insidious temptation: James 4:6-7 But he gives more grace. . . . Be subject therefore to God. But resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Had you realized that the famous Scripture, “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you,” though applicable to other situations, was actually referring primarily to resisting the temptation to envy (verse 5) and overcoming the temptation to pray “with wrong motives, so that you may spend it for your pleasures” (verse 3)? Few of us pause long enough to realize that this famous quote is referring to resisting the devil’s enticement to use prayer to try to manipulate God into giving us things that end up not being in our best interests spiritually. The attraction of devilish practices such as witchcraft is that they seem to offer supernatural help in feeding selfish desires. The devil does not display our Heavenly Father’s reluctance to grant us things that end up hurting and enslaving us. Christians are typically well aware that lack of faith often hinders Jesus’ longing to miraculously meet our physical needs: Matthew 13:58 He didn’t do many mighty works there because of their unbelief. The equally serious, but seldom recognized, hindrance to God pampering us with material possessions, however, is the human tendency to push aside the true God and instead worship money, pleasure and/or ease, and ruin our lives by making them our god. Deuteronomy 6:10-12 It shall be, when the Lord your God brings you into the land which he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you, great and goodly cities, which you didn’t build, and houses full of all good things, which you didn’t fill, and cisterns dug out, which you didn’t dig, vineyards and olive trees, which you didn’t plant, and you shall eat and be full; then beware lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. We see the divine dilemma exposed when Jesus fed the multitude. This was no treat to titillate the taste buds. The situation was so serious that some were in danger of fainting on the long walk home ( Mark 8:3 ). Moved by compassion, he who denied himself bread in the wilderness miraculously provided for these people but – as God’s longing to meet our physical needs often does – it backfired. John 6:26-27 , 34-35 , 49-51 , 66 Jesus answered them, “Most certainly I tell you, you seek me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate of the loaves, and were filled. Don’t work for the food which perishes, but for the food which remains to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. . . . “            They said therefore to him, “Lord, always give us this bread.” Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will not be hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.  . . . Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. This is the bread which comes down out of heaven, that anyone may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread which came down out of heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. . . .”            At this, many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him. In contrast to some preachers, Jesus withdrew, rather than let people seek God for the wrong reasons and he ended up making it so hard for them that those with materialistic motives left him. We, too, are in danger of degrading God by worshipping him as a Cash Cow instead of honoring him as the Holy One whose passion is righteousness and selflessness. Too many of us break God’s heart by putting him in a no-win situation: if God lovingly refuses to indulge our greed we resent him; if he gives us what we clamor for, we destroy ourselves by becoming infatuated with the temporal rather than the eternal. 1 John 5:14 This is the boldness which we have toward him, that, if we ask anything according to his will , he listens to us. (Emphasis mine) And God’s will is filled with love and wisdom far beyond ours. Final Thoughts When our prayers are not answered the way we expect or within the time frame we hope, we often put ourselves through unnecessary torment by needlessly blaming either ourselves or the God who is resolutely devoted to our well-being. In this world, unpleasant – even atrocious – things keep happening. This is inevitable, since the Almighty, in his loving mercy, tolerates evil, rather than eradicating every source of evil (which happens to be every human on this planet). Nevertheless, the good Lord has promised to turn around for good every trace of evil that impacts his children ( Romans 8:28 ). The eternal Lord’s agenda, however, is far more extensive, and loftier than we can ever conceive. The unavoidable consequence is that we are often left scratching our heads until the unfolding of events finally reveals what God always knew. The devil is the deceiver who delights in falsely accusing God’s forgiven ones. Tragically, we often make his day by joining him in torturing ourselves with the mistaken notion that we must somehow be at fault. The equally torturous and foolish option is to blame the good Lord, and by doing so rob ourselves of the matchless comfort of snuggling into the assurance of God’s love, wisdom and goodness. It is good to “let your requests be made known unto God” ( Philippians 4:6 , KJV). The all-knowing Lord has no need to be told, but such is his astonishing love that hearing from you delights him. Even a begging, whining prayer means more to him than not hearing from you. And he knows that it is good for you to figure out precisely what you want. Moreover, he delights in granting you your request, just like delighting their children with good gifts is one of the greatest parental joys. But God loves surprises. There must be literally millions of times that people have asked God for something and have had their request declined, only to later discover that God has prepared something even more wonderful for them. Do we pray to a lesser god or to the one “who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” ( Ephesians 3:20 )? The delay in God revealing his wisdom (or us being smart enough to grasp it) can sometimes drag on for years or even last an entire lifetime. Sometimes we can be so certain there could not possibly be a better alternative that in our ignorance we are tempted to bitterly resent God; thinking him cruel or stingy or guilty of favoritism when our prayers go unanswered. Delays, however, are actually precious opportunities to grow in faith. I refer, of course, not to the often-mistaken faith in our ability to guess what is best, but the faith that never lets us down: faith that God loves us with all his heart and delights in giving us the best, even when the best is beyond our ability to “ask or imagine.” Let me finish by quoting something I have written elsewhere: Basking In Infinite Love Embraced by divine love, your life will be tinged with mystery but aglow with glory. Tucked in the heart of Scripture sleeps a tiny psalm of precious truth ( Psalm 131 ). The singer confessed that as a mother denies her baby access to her milk when it’s time for her darling to be weaned, so God sometimes denies us things we crave. Yet as a weaned infant lies warm and secure in its mother’s bosom, our soul can nestle into God, not knowing why we have been denied that which we have clamored for, but content to draw love and comfort from the Father’s heart. I encourage you to read Life’s Mysteries Explained . It further explains how God has our eternal welfare at heart, rather than our short term ease that is ultimately not in our best interest. It particularly explains the surprising wisdom in God often choosing not to miraculously deliver us from powerful temptation.

Bible based help with faith, answered prayer, & God's blessing Understanding Prayer Prayer is powerful and God is generous. Does this make it impossible for “name it and claim it” to be taken to non-biblical extremes? Biblical Faith vs Fraudulent Faith When the Bible speaks of prayer, it usually means praying to God, not to idols or to the devil. Similarly, when it talks of faith, it means faith in God, not faith in oneself or in fate or in money or in the devil. Biblical faith is not just believing; it is believing the right thing. Faith in God is taking God at his word. That is very different from twisting God’s word into something he has never promised and putting your faith in your own concoction. That is not faith in what God has said; it is squandering your faith in words you have fraudulently stuffed into God’s mouth. Even if wasting your faith on things God’s has not said is an innocent mistake, the result is the same; just as it is whether you foolishly leap off a cliff or accidently fall. Biblical faith is an expression of love for God; not of greed. It flows from a yearning to please God and glorify him; not a desire to exploit him and exalt ourselves. It is furthering God’s purposes, not our own. This is why faith to endure pain and poverty ( Hebrews 11:35-38 ) is placed in the same category (and chapter) as faith that resulted in deliverances from unpleasant things. It is why, when Paul said, “ I can do all things through Christ ” ( Philippians 4:13 , JKV), the context is clear that he was referring to the ability to endure times of impoverishment as well as times of having more than enough ( Philippians 4:12 ). Faith in God is beautiful because it is lovingly trusting his wisdom and goodness. Biblical faith is about submitting to God. It is equally about fighting “fleshly lusts, which war against the soul,” ( 1 Peter 2:11 , KJV). This is encapsulated in these famous words: James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Sadly, in our arrogant, self-centered society this quote is often decapitated by hacking off the first sentence. Trying to use faith and prayer to get our own way at the expense of God’s best might be some form of witchcraft (regardless of whether we tack Jesus’ name on the end of it) but it is by no means Christian. Like Jesus agonizing with God in the garden, faith is submitting to God. It is saying, “Nevertheless, your will be done, not mine.” It is a stubborn determination to settle for nothing less than God’s best; never an attempt to get our own way at the expense of God’s best. One of the most unpleasant things about parenting is when a child is lovingly told she cannot have something she foolishly craves that will end up endangering her, and she keeps whining and complaining and resorting to every tactic she can muster to coerce or pressure her parents into relenting. Regardless of whether she points to other parents who are less wise and caring, or to other children who are more responsible or are in situations that are slightly different from her own, she will do everything her conniving heart can dream up to state or imply that her parents are selfish or cruel or unjust. Like us ignoring one Scripture and latching on to another, she will try ignoring one parent’s emphatic no and try going to the other parent behind the first parent’s back in the hope of tricking one or the other into saying yes. To the self-centered child, nothing is too low. All that matters is getting her own foolish way. Do you really want to break God’s heart by sinking to this type of obnoxious behavior? Do you think such ugly self-centeredness makes the sacrificial Lord proud of his children? Is this the fulfillment of the highest of all God’s longings – that we love him with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength? Is this the height of faith, or the depth of doubting God’s love, goodness and wisdom, and treating our wonderful Lord as an enemy instead of the one we long to delight? Biblical faith has nothing to do with letting greed corrupt us into viewing God as a vending machine; it is letting love soar until we see God as the most wonderful and complex person in the universe, and treating him as such. It is trusting God so much that we surrender to his glorious will; never defiantly trying to wrench from him things that might be contrary to his perfect will. It is not about fighting him to get your own will done, but about joining him in fighting everything in you and in the world that opposes his will. Neither, however, is faith in God about tacking a wishy-washy “if it be thy will” on to prayer; as if one has no idea whether God is wise, good, selflessly devoted to our well-being, and powerful. Nor should it be done because one is too lazy to find out what God’s will is for a specific matter. But neither is biblical faith arrogantly presuming we are as smart as God and can guess what he is saying without bothering to really listen. We desperately need to know God’s heart but even if we were to know his heart perfectly, that would be no excuse for arrogantly presuming we have the infinite intelligence to know his strategy without consulting him. Which method will he use to bring about his heart’s desire? Knowing, for example, that God’s heart is always fixed on wanting to bless us, is very different from knowing the precise way he will choose to bring this about at any given time. Because prayer is such a vital subject, I have written much about it in various webpages that are not specifically devoted to the subject. So that you won’t miss these portions, I have gathered relevant excerpts from other webpages and placed them below. Faith or Fantasy? As the Bible uses the term, faith is not about manipulating God to get what we want. It involves trusting God enough to submit to his loving wisdom. Christian faith is about dying to self; not about ‘dying’ to get our own selfish way. This statement is not an endorsement of defeatism – resigning ourselves to never getting our hearts’ desire – but of delighting in the perfection of God’s will and putting more faith in him than in ourselves when it comes to knowing what is best for us. There’s a vital difference between faith and presumption. Presumption is about seizing some Scripture and rashly claiming it as a promise for ourselves without first seeking God’s heart on the specific situation we face. Why have so few Christians with supposedly great faith literally walked on water? In this case, the disciple famous for flapping his gums before engaging his brain acted with great wisdom. He walked on water not because he was claiming some Scripture such as, “I can do all things through Christ,” or “ . . . if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart . . .” or “Everything is possible for him who believes,” and so on. Peter’s faith was not in some general Word of God, but anchored on God’s specific word to him for that precise situation. He said, “Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water” and then did nothing until Jesus replied, “Come” ( Matthew 14:28-29 ). That’s real faith, because it was based not on treating God as a machine that dispenses goodies when the right buttons are pushed, but based on intimacy and loving submission to God. Peter was not desperately trying to apply some general promise of Scripture, hoping that it might work in this specific instance; he was stepping out on a personal word from his Lord. Until we receive a personal word from God, so-called faith is often hit-or-miss. What we claim to be faith tends to be more our hope that we have guessed the will of God, than faith in God himself. I know that God is good – and this inspires me to pray – but I also know that although God has infinite wisdom, I don’t. If I don’t receive a special word from God for a particular situation – and I usually don’t – then a hope that I’ve correctly guessed God’s will is all I’ve got. It’s better than nothing, but the ideal is to keep praying until we truly hear from God and then put our faith in what he says by thanking God for answered prayer before we see it. 1 John 5:14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will , he hears us. (Emphasis mine.) In fact, a deeper look reveals that unless we take seriously the importance of not falsely claiming God has promised us something, we could anger him. There is no specific Scripture anyone can claim for walking on water but there is one for, as it were, walking on air: Psalm 91:11-16 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.” Does this mean we can step off a precipice, knowing by faith that God will protect us with his angels? Would this be the height of God-honoring faith? No! Rather than being a daring faith experiment, Scripture portrays such an attempt to ‘name and claim’ as a temptation from the Evil One himself. It is a serious satanic ploy to deceive and corrupt: Matthew 4:5-7 Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written: ‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’ ” Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’ ” Not even the Messiah had the spiritual authority to seize random verses as a springboard for ‘faith’. Even though the specific scripture seemed quite appropriate for the Messiah to apply to himself, not even the eternal Son of God could ‘name and claim’ it, and remain undefiled. The scripture Jesus used to highlight the sin the devil was tempting him with was a reference to how the children of Israel treated God in the wilderness. Deuteronomy 6:16 Do not test the LORD your God as you did at Massah. Here’s how Psalms describes the consequences of putting God to the test: Psalm 78:18 , 21 , 31 They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved. [prayer]  . . . When the LORD heard them, he was very angry; his fire broke out against Jacob, and his wrath rose against Israel . . . he put to death the sturdiest among them, cutting down the young men of Israel. Numbers puts it this way: Numbers 11:33 But while the meat was still between their teeth and before it could be consumed, the anger of the LORD burned against the people, and he struck them with a severe plague. Here’s Paul’s description of the consequences of putting God to the test: 1 Corinthians 10:9 We should not test the Lord, as some of them did – and were killed by snakes. Whatever way you look at it, putting God to the test is a grave offence and yet this was what Jesus’ retort to Satan implied he would have been guilty of, had he tried using that Scripture as a basis for expecting a miracle. Do you suppose Christians are granted some sort of divine license to do the very thing Jesus refused to do, or that we have immunity from the serious consequences of committing the grave error of testing God? If so, what was Paul doing warning the Corinthian Christians not to fall into it? Jesus’ response to Satan quoting the Bible highlights how everything must be done in reverent submission to God, including how we use his holy Word. As further confirmation, I will provide just one more biblical example of how what can seem to be claiming a divine promise can actually anger God. In scripture after scripture after scripture, the God who cannot lie promised to give certain land to Abraham’s descendants. In fact, it was divinely promised so often and so vehemently that we know it as the Promised Land. Nevertheless, no matter how fervently God’s chosen tried claiming this emphatically affirmed divine promise, no-one’s prayer for the land was answered for over 400 years ( Genesis 15:13 , 16 ; Exodus 12:40 ). The enormous delay before any of God’s people could claim the promise for themselves was in no way because of any deficiency in the prayers or faith of all the generations who missed out. As is often the case in prayers going unanswered, it was a matter of timing. In this instance, the primary reason was that God fulfilling his promise involved judgment on the people currently living in the land, and our loving Lord kept having mercy on them until eventually their depravity was too immense for any further delay in judgment ( Genesis 15:16 ). God’s timing and our impatience are usually poles apart. Finally, God responded to their passionate cries to him ( Exodus 2:23 ; 3:7-9 ) and he raised up Moses. But then things turned even worse. Not only were they prevented from going to the Promised Land, they were forced to slave even harder for their enemies; having been denied the straw needed to avoid being beaten ( Exodus 5:16-19 ). This time, claiming the promise did not work because the Lord wanted to do a deeper work in the Egyptians. Still later, the time arrived when they could claim that divine promise, but at that critical moment they caved in to fear and failed to step out in faith. Soon after, however, they repented and stepped out on the promise. But this time, doing so angered God. Deuteronomy 1:41-45 Then you replied, “We have sinned against the LORD. We will go up and fight, as the LORD our God commanded us.” So every one of you put on his weapons, thinking it easy to go up into the hill country. . . . in your arrogance [‘presumption’ is how Numbers 14:44 puts it] you marched up into the hill country. The Amorites who lived in those hills came out against you; they chased you like a swarm of bees and beat you down from Seir all the way to Hormah. You came back and wept before the LORD, but he paid no attention to your weeping and turned a deaf ear to you. They were not trying to fraudulently claim a divine promise for themselves by twisting a general promise about victory over enemies (e.g. Genesis 22:17 ; 24:60 ; 49:8 ). They had God’s repeated declaration about this precise real estate and the promise had been given specifically to them, not some other biblical figure. Nevertheless, having missed their window of opportunity their timing was wrong again – so wrong that any attempt to claim that promise was not a commendable display of faith in heaven’s eyes, but an act of foolish disobedience. It was not until forty years later than anyone could claim that promise without arrogance or presumption. Our first example was from the very life of our Lord. Our second set of examples is likewise as relevant today as ever. These instances have nothing to do with anything abolished by the cross but with the way God loves his people. His heart never changes. God loves you just like he yearns for you to love him – with all his heart, soul, mind and strength. The infinite intensity of his love for you, however, in no way lessens his love for other people. It cannot diminish his need to consider how granting your wish will impact others, nor his need to consider how it will impact your long term spiritual well-being. You Have Not, Because You Ask Not? Here’s a Scripture that is so tempting to sever from its context: James 4:2  . . . You do not have, because you do not ask God. Don’t you love that! Here’s our chance to get more and more – or is it? It certainly is possible to miss out simply because lack of faith in God’s willingness to provide keeps us from asking God. That’s a danger we need to avoid. That’s not the thrust of this Scripture, however. There’s a more sinister trap far more likely to ensnare Christians living in affluent countries. Let’s read more: James 4:2-3 You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. By, “You kill,” James had in mind the perspective that moved John to say: 1 John 3:15 Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him. Near the beginning of his epistle, James said we cannot expect answered prayer if we waver in faith ( James 1:5-8 ) but he was referring to asking for something highly spiritual – godly wisdom ( James 1:5 ; 3:13 , 17 ). Trying to entice God to answer prayers to foster our selfishness, however, is such a lost cause that, rather than suggest more faith, James denounces the practice. He continues his tirade against praying for wrong things or with wrong motives: James 4:4 You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. The next verse, as translated in the King James Version and the New International Version, initially seems strange: James 4:5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? This translation is reminiscent of what Paul says: Romans 1:28-29 Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy , murder, strife, deceit and malice. Interpreted in this light, James is saying that we are all subject to an intense urge to envy. How true that is! Our natural tendency is to slide into the pit of regretting what we don’t have, rather than rejoicing in what we have. Give Joe Average a hundred million dollars and he’d be over the moon with excitement about how rich and blessed he is. Then give ten billion dollars to hundreds of people around him and it will not be long before, regardless of his millions, he is feeling deprived. Despite our natural predisposition to be driven by envy, however, James immediately continues to explain that through Christ we can live in victory over this insidious temptation: James 4:6-7 But he gives us more grace.  . . . Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Had you realized that the famous Scripture, “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you,” though applicable to other situations, was actually referring to resisting the temptation to envy (verse 5) and to overcoming the temptation to pray “with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures” (verse 3)? Few of us pause long enough to realize that this famous quote is referring to resisting the devil’s enticement to use prayer to try to manipulate God into giving us things that end up not being in our best interest spiritually. The attraction of devilish practices such as witchcraft is that they seem to offer supernatural help in feeding selfish desires. The devil does not display our Heavenly Father’s reluctance to grant us things that end up hurting and enslaving us. There is nothing wrong with having favorite Scriptures. Sometimes we can even take verses out of context and the result still be true. To avoid distorting God’s revelation, however, it is likely that the verses we have not underlined are the ones we most need. Christians are typically well aware that lack of faith often hinders Jesus’ longing to miraculously meet our physical needs: Matthew 13:58 And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith. The equally serious, but seldom recognized, hindrance to God pampering us with material possessions, however, is the human tendency to push aside the true God and instead worship money, pleasure and/or ease, and ruin our lives by making them our god. We see the divine dilemma exposed when Jesus fed the multitude. This was no treat to titillate the taste buds. The situation was so serious that some were in danger of fainting on the long walk home ( Mark 8:3 ). Moved by compassion, he who denied himself bread in the wilderness miraculously provided for these people but – as God’s longing to meet our physical needs often does – it backfired. John 6:14-15 , 26-27 , 34-35 , 49-51 , 66 After the people saw the miraculous sign that Jesus did, they began to say, “Surely this is the Prophet who is to come into the world.” Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself.            Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, you are looking for me, not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. . . . “            “Sir,” they said, “from now on give us this bread.” Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. . . . Your forefathers ate the manna in the desert, yet they died. But here is the bread that comes down from heaven, which a man may eat and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. . . .”            From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. In contrast to some preachers, Jesus withdrew, rather than let people seek God for the wrong reasons and he ended up making it so hard for them that those with materialistic motives left him. We, too, are in danger of degrading God by worshipping him as a Cash Cow instead of honoring him as the Holy One whose passion is righteousness and selflessness. Too many of us break God’s heart by putting him in a no-win situation: if God lovingly refuses to indulge our greed, we resent him; if he gives us what we clamor for, we destroy ourselves by becoming infatuated with the temporal rather than the eternal. God is generous. He longs to shower his gifts upon us, but our sinfulness and spiritual immaturity often stymies him. And even if we could be trusted with wealth, those we seek to bring to the Lord could see what we have and be fooled into thinking they are heading for a pleasant eternity when they are not saved at all but have merely “come to God” for material gain. Jesus kept warning would-be followers to count the cost, but today’s tragedy is that some Christian leaders have abandoned Jesus’ method because lowering the price of following Jesus swells the number of fans who will throw money in their direction. The terrifying thing, however, is that the price is not theirs to lower. They are like salesmen who astound everyone by their number of sales, when it is yet to be revealed that they have infuriated their boss by criminally selling his goods at way below cost price. They have sold their souls to temporary fame and fortune and – far worse – seduced others into following them to spiritual ruin. Without exaggeration, the most sadistic of all crimes is to let people feel assured of salvation when they are not in spiritual union with the Holy One. It means they are headed for endless torment without the slightest inkling that they still need to be saved. Blissfully ignorant of the eternal disaster awaiting them, they have been conned into building their house on sand. James – The Epistle Many both Love and Hate For those who want to exalt themselves and use their faith and tongue to order God around, James is a great book to quote selectively. It speaks of the power of the tongue, the power of unwavering faith and says you have not because you ask not. A less flippant reading is more sobering. I have elsewhere pointed out how dramatically, “You don’t have, because you don’t ask,” changes once one cares enough to read the next sentence ( James 4:2-3 ). Likewise, “resist the devil, and he will flee from you” no longer feeds the ego when you read in the rest of the verse, “Be subject therefore to God” ( James 4:7 ). Again, “he will exalt you” is the tail end of the sentence beginning, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord,” ( James 4:10 ). To the disappointment of those who love to boost egos, this divinely inspired writer emphasizes the importance of humility (e.g. James 4:6, 10 ) and patient endurance. In fact, some parts of this oft-cited book seldom rate a mention in many Christian circles. For example, unlike many of us today, James did not see Job as an embarrassment to be relegated to a forgotten pre-Christian era when people had less spiritual understanding, nor as a warning of the danger of fearing anything. On the contrary, James exalted Job as the Christian’s role model because of his patient endurance. Job lost everything – his children, his wealth, his health, his dignity – and he was powerless to do anything about it. Even his wife and friends condemned him. There are two highlights in the book. The first is early on when Job, reeling at the devastating loss, did not sin by blaming God, but instead worshipped; blessing God ( Job 1:20-22 ). The second and greatest high point was at the end of Job’s ordeal when he received a deeper than ever revelation of God’s greatness. As a result, Job loathed himself for his human ignorance and powerlessness, relative to Almighty God ( Job 42:1-6 ). Despite the fact that he had already been streets ahead of most of today’s Christians, Job finally realized how superior God is. This is the man James parades as a spiritual hero. Here’s another sample of James’ spiritual insight that clashes disturbingly with many Christians’ view of life, exposing their thinking as un biblical: James 4:13-16 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow let’s go into this city, and spend a year there, trade, and make a profit.” Whereas you don’t know what your life will be like tomorrow. For what is your life? For you are a vapor, that appears for a little time, and then vanishes away. For you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will both live, and do this or that.” But now you glory in your boasting. All such boasting is evil . (Emphasis mine) Though thoroughly consistent with the entire book of James, this passage puts popular Christian thinking alarmingly at odds with biblical revelation. James’ understanding of God’s supremacy clashes so dramatically with popular Christian thought that, despite being superficially familiar with this quote from James, you might need to prayerfully read it several times until the implications hit you. James does not so much as hint at a rare exception in which God might supernaturally reveal to someone that a certain event will take place. Nevertheless, I am willing to concede that something of this magnitude might occasionally occur without it being someone’s arrogance or wishful thinking. This unmentioned rarity aside, however, this Scripture is saying that it is sheer arrogance to pronounce that anything – big or small – will definitely happen. So much for “name it and claim it.” We don’t even know if we will be alive five minutes from now. God is in control, not us. What matters is not our will but God’s will. Moreover, under the inspiration of the Spirit of God, James reveals that forgetting this foundational truth is not just arrogance but sinfully disrespecting God. It is, in fact, defying God. Some might label the apostle Paul as dogmatic, forceful or even arrogant. Not even he, however, made proud, ‘faith statements’ about what he would do. Instead, he repeatedly said such things as: Acts 18:21  . . . I must by all means keep this coming feast in Jerusalem, but I will return again to you if God wills  . . . 1 Corinthians 4:19  . . . I will come to you shortly, if the Lord is willing . 1 Corinthians 16:7  . . . I hope to stay a while with you, if the Lord permits . Note also: Hebrews 6:1-3 Therefore leaving the teaching of the first principles of Christ, let us press on to perfection – not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works, of faith toward God, of the teaching of baptisms, of laying on of hands, of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment. This will we do, if God permits . Proverbs 19:21 There are many plans in a man’s heart, but the Lord’s counsel will prevail. Proverbs 27:1 Don’t boast about tomorrow; for you don’t know what a day may bring. Acts 21:14 When he would not be persuaded, we ceased; saying, “The Lord’s will be done.” (Emphasis mine.) On the other hand, there is one Scripture that seems to say if we put our faith not in material wealth but in God, we can make decrees or faith declarations that will come to pass: Job 22:24-28 Lay your treasure in the dust . . . The Almighty will be your treasure . . . For then you will delight yourself in the Almighty, and shall lift up your face to God. You shall make your prayer to him, and he will hear you. . . . You shall also decree a thing, and it shall be established to you. [“What you decide on will be done,” is the NIV rendition of the last few words] . . . You might think that Jesus should be our ultimate role model. I have heard it claimed that this is not so: Jesus, living as he did prior to his atonement, was living under the inferior covenant. That might raise your blood pressure a bit but perhaps you could at least suppose that everyone agrees that the apostle Paul must have been living in the full revelation of God. Apparently not. He’s an embarrassment to these people, because of all the things he suffered, including even hunger. Some of these people assert that spiritual revelation has continued to increase beyond the New Testament and that they are now living in greater revelation that the New Testament apostles. One manifestation of this is their ability to exercise their spiritual authority by making faith declarations or decrees and speaking things into existence. You might have noticed a problem with this, however. Rather than this being “new revelation” it is actually pre-Christian, since the quote just mentioned is from the Old Testament. Even more disturbing, it was not spoken by Job, who had God’s approval, but by one of his accusers of whom God declared: Job 42:7-8  . . . “My wrath is kindled against you . . . for you have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job has. Now therefore . . . go to my servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and my servant Job shall pray for you, for I will accept him, that I not deal with you according to your folly. For you have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job has.” My plea is simply for a little humility. As I believe I have already made clear, I am not saying no one can ever hear from God and then pronounce it as fact. Abraham, for example, received God’s promise regarding a child and had every right to declare that it will happen. In fact, because God had spoken, he had no right to doubt it. This, however, is a world away from coming up with our own declarations that turn out to be nothing more than our own presumptions based on some general Bible statement such as “I can do all things through Christ” (which, by the way, is almost always taken out of context). Faith in God walks hand-in-hand with humility. Faith in self, however, is an entirely different beast. The Mystery of Prayer Jeremiah 33:3 “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” Have you ever thought how strange the above Scripture seems? If God wants to show us things, why doesn’t he just do it? Why does God in Scripture over and over plead with us to ask him so that he can bless us? He obviously longs for us to have these things or he would not beg for us to ask him for them. And yet still he refuses to act until we dig our heels in and determine not to give in to all the superficial indications that God has little desire to bless us. In Jesus’ parable about how God wants us to pray, the widow was spurned over and over by the judge. She ended up with everything she had hoped for, but only because she refused to take rejection as the final answer ( Luke 18:1-8 ). Clearly, this is the never-give-up, always-believe-that-God-will-bless-you attitude that God wants to build within us. The Lord, who always has our best interest at heart, knows that more important than instant answers to prayer is that we develop an unshakable conviction in the integrity of God’s character – a conviction that will withstand the strongest assaults from the evil deceiver who longs to slander the Perfect One. Our Lord is a prayer-answering God of compassion. Every indication to the contrary is a divine invitation for us to grow in faith so that not only is our Lord glorified but we will be praised forevermore, just like that Canaanite woman who had felt so despised. My friend Leona loves gardening. She told me, “When young plants that still have shallow root systems look wilted, I immediately want to revive them with a good dose of water. They quickly perk up and I seem to have done the right thing. If I always water them as soon as they seem to need it, however, the plants will never seek the water already available to them at a deeper level. Instead of developing a strong root system as God had intended, they will eventually die from root rot or fungus. For their sake, I must resist my urge to ‘rescue’ them the instant they seem to need it, or I will literally kill them with kindness. Too much of a seemingly good thing is not a good thing.” I keep getting the sulks when I don’t get instant answers to prayer. I keep thinking a loving God should shower me with constant blessings without me even having to ask, much less having to fight for years and years for them. I feel hurt, not merely because I don’t get what I want, but because I keep falling into the trap of wrongly guessing how a wise and loving God would act if he really wanted to build up my faith in his goodness and wanted to help convince me that I am special to him. It turns out that for God to act the way I want, would be like Leona giving in to her longing to pamper her plants. God’s pampering would seem to do wonders in the short term but it would actually stifle my faith. What would seem like building faith would actually be building a dependence upon circumstances and feelings, not building faith in the love and integrity of God. Faith is not about thinking of God as little more than a machine, but thinking of him as the passionate, tender-hearted person he truly is. It is not believing God is a vending machine – you push a button and out come goodies. Faith is about believing in the love and goodness and dependability and wisdom of your glorious Lord, no matter how many challenges to that belief occur in the short term. True faith comes not from being doted on but from having to hold on when all the outward signs keep screaming that God must be selfish, stingy and uncaring. God spoiling me would truly spoil me. We desperately need to involve God in every aspect of our lives. That does not mean insulting God by relegating him to a back seat and hoping for a divine miracle. If we try to treat God as a supernatural dispensing machine, an emergency kit, an eternal fire insurance policy, a status symbol or a spiritual fashion statement, we do not merely offend and depersonalize God; we damage and depersonalize ourselves. What is more appalling: to turn from the true God to worship a false god, or to turn the true God into a false god by the way we think of him and treat him? Isn’t it just as hideous to worship a false god we have manufactured in our imagination and fraudulently called it the God of the Bible than to worship a false god another religion has already fabricated? Calling a concoction of our own making the God of the Bible is simply more dishonest. It is so deceitful, in fact, that it is terrifyingly common even to deceive ourselves and not realize that instead of revering and seeking to please and serve the real God, we have actually replaced him in our minds with a grotesque caricature of who he really is. Do we exalt the most beautiful, lovable, tender-hearted and glorious person in the universe or do we defile him in our hearts by seeing him as a cash cow to milk for all we can get? God is highly personal, with passions and feelings so deep that alongside him we are hard and cold. He is the most beautiful and sensitive person in the universe. If we are so callous as to try to use Almighty God for our selfish purposes, rather than as someone to please and delight in, we are unsuited even to superficial human friendships, let alone anything more meaningful. Since every little thing we do helps shape our lives and our future, we need to be fully submitted to God in every area of our lives; doing every little thing his way. I fully understand if you recoil from submitting to God to this extreme. You have very legitimate concerns that I am about to address. Nevertheless, if you have yet to realize that the biggest single factor determining the nature and success of future relationships is the nature of your relationship with God, then you, more than anyone, need to be reading this section. Let’s not camouflage the truth: most believers know so little about God that, relative to the heart-meltingly beautiful, trustworthy friend he really is, many suppose him to be a killjoy; an arrogant, self-serving bigot; an impractical, out-of-touch egomaniac quite unworthy of our adoration. Of course, we are too respectful to ever express it this way. We try hard to force ourselves to like God but beneath the religious niceties, the way many of us think of him is much closer to the above than we dare admit. I am not for a moment suggesting that you serve such a monstrous perversion of the real God. Like getting to know anyone, discovering the real God is a thrilling, never-ending journey, but as you keep pushing yourself forward on this journey of discovery, you won’t be able to stop yourself falling in love with him and longing for him to be in charge of your life. For much help in discovering how wonderful God really is, see Receiving a Personal Revelation of God’s Love for You and the pages it leads to. With the sharpest mind in the universe, the Lord of the universe is intensely personal and infatuated with your well-being. Obeying God on every little point is not just the smartest thing we could ever do; it is actually the most exciting and ultimately safest thing we could ever do –even if we were to die in the process. For insight into how safe and beautiful God’s will for you is, see Enjoying God’s Will for You . Let’s continue to attack all pretense with ferocious honesty: many people who call themselves Christians are not nice people. You would be a fool to marry them. To be judgmental or look down on anyone is an atrociously unchristian delusion that is such a terrifyingly seductive temptation that it snares vast numbers of us. Each of us must run from this trap in horror. Otherwise we will end up like Jesus’ highly devout enemies who honored God with their mouths but dishonored him with their lives. Their snobbish arrogance might have fooled few others but it blinded them so appallingly that they ended up crucifying their Lord. In contrast to those who use religion as a mask, anything that truly makes you a better Christian makes you a better, more gracious, more forgiving person. To be critical, judgmental, moody, self-centered, controlling, manipulative or lazy is to be unsuited for any relationship. So both in terms of accessing infinite knowledge and understanding, and in correctly nurturing your development as a person and becoming more Christlike, your relationship with God is of critical importance to choosing the best partner and having the best marriage. Whether we live stunted lives or reach our full potential hinges on what we put highest in our affections. God holds everything together. Unless he is pre-eminent in our lives, sooner or later, everything else will collapse. Let’s use some probing questions to see if we are on track. Throughout your life, how devoted have you been to seeking deep intimacy with God and hearing from him and obeying him on every little point? He alone truly knows what is best and what ultimately is in your best interest, and rarely does that line up with what we find easiest. Too often things turn sour and we blame God for what is simply the result of our willfulness – us being content to do things our way rather than diligently seeking God’s way. How much are you yearning to give God pleasure, rather than wanting your own pleasure? Are you God’s servant or do you often treat him as your servant? How much have you died to self and let Christ rule in your thought-life and your circumstances? How much do you seek to glorify God in your daydreams and fantasies, in your choice of music and reading, in your television viewing and Internet usage, in your conversations and where your eyes wander? (As you are beginning to realize, these things end up powerfully influencing and shaping our self-image, our likes and dislikes and our relationship/marital expectations.) How much are you cultivating the fruit of the Spirit – selfless love, rejoicing in all circumstances, being peaceable, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control? Each of these is critical to healthy, fulfilling relationships. Either God is first in our lives and affections, or he is not our God. Romans 6:16,22 Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey – whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? . . . But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. James 4:4  . . . don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 1 John 2:15-16  . . . If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world – the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does – comes not from the Father but from the world. 1 Timothy 5:6 But she who gives herself to pleasure is dead while she lives. (World English Bible) 2 Timothy 3:1-5 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money . . . conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God – having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. (Emphasis mine.) Life is not about self-indulgence, nor our comfort; it is about loving and delighting in God and glorifying him by giving our utmost to the one who gave his all for us. If we are unwilling to sacrifice for God everything else – romance, children, reputation, career, every material thing, financial security, our pet sins, our country, our lives, and everything else you can think of – then we worship not God but whatever we hold dearest. Unless we are like Abraham willing to sacrifice the son who meant more than life to him; unless we deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow our crucified Lord who sweated blood agonizing over what he was about to suffer for God; unless we are like the apostles preferring to be tortured rather than back off from total commitment to God; we delude ourselves if we consider ourselves Christian. Of course, we must love even our enemies but the intensity of our love for God – our fierce determination to make him our Master – must be as far above our love for anything else as love is far above hate. God must be without rival in our lives, whether it be material things, pleasure, ease, status, or someone’s love. Luke 14:25-26 Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters – yes, even his own life – he cannot be my disciple. . . .” (Emphasis mine) This was addressed to large crowds . This teaching is not just for the spiritual elite but for the masses. Luke 18:25,29-30 “ . . . Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. . . . “I tell you the truth,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life .” (Emphasis mine.) God is love. Above everything, he yearns for intimacy with you. A distorted emphasis on faith has the potential to distract us from this. We can become self-obsessed – infatuated with our faith rather than with our loving Lord, and on us receiving things rather than on companionship with God. We can end up focused on trying to extract from God spiritual trinkets (or even less noble things) rather than on loving God and enjoying him. Sadly, many of us grieve the God who yearns for our love by treating him like an unfeeling poker machine; hoping that if we feed in enough prayer and faith we will win some money. My eyes tear up to think of the King of glory, who poured out his blood for us, being treated not even as genie in a bottle or a sugar daddy to be manipulated but as a mindless machine to be used if, or when, we see fit. We cannot depersonalize our Maker without dehumanizing ourselves. Anyone treating God like a machine is like someone who turns his heart to stone, refusing to love, and trying instead to claw emotional satisfaction from objects. Appallingly many of us are like a passionately loved wife who keeps breaking her husband’s heart by her coldness because she married him for his money. Instead of reveling in the glory of God’s love and the matchless beauty and wonder of who he is, we lust after trinkets that can never fill the God-shaped void within us. The real treasure lies not in his gifts but in the Giver himself. If we miss the big picture we will end up continually fighting God and not even realize it. Whereas God longs for us to sacrifice earthly comfort to store up heavenly treasure that we can never lose, we think he should be helping us accumulate earthly treasure that we can never keep. His infinite wisdom declares, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” ( Acts 20:35 ), but we think the all-knowing Lord should realize he is wrong and that the opposite is true. God’s agenda is not to make his beloved children spoiled brats who shame themselves but to make us exquisitely perfect like his eternal Son. This is so much God’s focus that he guides everything toward that end: Romans 8:28-29 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son  . . . Philippians 2:5-8 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who . . . humbled himself and became obedient to death – even death on a cross! 2 Corinthians 8:9 For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor , so that you through his poverty might become rich. The eternal glory of Christlike beauty comes neither instantly, nor effortlessly: Romans 13:13-14 Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature . Galatians 4:19 My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you Hebrews 5:8-9 Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect . . . Related Page: The Surprising Prerequisites for Answered Prayer: When Faith & Prayer Do Not Work